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Year 1 class allocation and complaint, teachers, governors, what are our chances please?

250 replies

hollybungalow · 15/07/2026 22:22

our daughter goes to the village school and is in reception, it’s a great school and we haven’t had many reasons to complain. Until now.

We found out they were mixing the classes the day they chose to do it last week. This isn’t standard practice for them.

Our hold was placed in a class with no close friends and unfortunately a child from another class who has bullied her in an out of school setting. As they are separated currently we didn’t raise with the school as we didn’t know they were going to mix classes.
Our child feels things deeply and there has been a significant change in behaviour. She is convinced she is on her own and without friends because ‘no one chose her’ and it’s heartbreaking for us all.

Other than this i asked the teacher about how they allocated places and she shared who our child had chosen and honestly i was surprised who she had picked, one girl she knows but the other she has never mentioned.
The same day we got her school report and it wasn’t hers, it was for another child in her class with the same first name. Then the choices made sense and to me it’s clear there has been a mix up.

i raised with the head teacher and shared the out of school bullying and the view (backed up by the other parent) that we believed there had been a mix up. He is firm there are no circumstances what so ever (including physical bullying) that would cause him to change a child’s class. His view is that whatever happens ‘we work it out’

I didn’t agree and have raised a complaint with the governors and trustees.
Can anyone give me a view of how likely you think we are to succeed with our complaint and get our child moved class? ( there are 3 in the year and we would take any other than this one).
because of the timing, the only option we have for september is to put her in the class with the bully, keep her off and be fined or move schools. So keen to know how likely we are to succeed or if we chalk it up and get her in another school.

thanks x

OP posts:
Kingdomofsleep · 17/07/2026 10:56

Sounds like that's drawn a line under the matter if the other girl is leaving the school. I'm sure your dd will make new friends in the class. Hopefully she feels better about going in now

sittingonabeach · 17/07/2026 11:38

There might be a chance that the ‘bully’ will be moving to the other school that the OP was looking at.

In all schools there will be children with challenging behaviour. Moving schools won’t mean you avoid it. And this is only going to get worse with current Government proposals.

It is how school deals with it, and hopefully class teacher and new HT will deal with any problems going forward as well as they can

EstoyRobandoSuCasa · 17/07/2026 11:59

Yes, imagine if you’d both made the same move due to the unimpressive headteacher 😬

Hopefully it will be OK now, although I don’t know why it’s beyond the school to correct an admin error, especially as the parents of the child with the similar name don’t seem to mind much either way.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 17/07/2026 12:01

sittingonabeach · 17/07/2026 11:38

There might be a chance that the ‘bully’ will be moving to the other school that the OP was looking at.

In all schools there will be children with challenging behaviour. Moving schools won’t mean you avoid it. And this is only going to get worse with current Government proposals.

It is how school deals with it, and hopefully class teacher and new HT will deal with any problems going forward as well as they can

Or that they moved due to the Head's refusal to move them out of the class with the OP's child whose mother has made complaints out of school about their child who also happens to have SEND?

sittingonabeach · 17/07/2026 12:26

EstoyRobandoSuCasa · 17/07/2026 11:59

Yes, imagine if you’d both made the same move due to the unimpressive headteacher 😬

Hopefully it will be OK now, although I don’t know why it’s beyond the school to correct an admin error, especially as the parents of the child with the similar name don’t seem to mind much either way.

Edited

I think the issue there is, is that other parents might have been miffed with the class allocations but hadn’t said anything, but as soon as they saw the school had reacted to a parent request the floodgates might open!

myrtleWilson · 17/07/2026 12:41

And everyone clapped and cheered, yes?

hollybungalow · 17/07/2026 15:07

NeverDropYourMooncup · 17/07/2026 12:01

Or that they moved due to the Head's refusal to move them out of the class with the OP's child whose mother has made complaints out of school about their child who also happens to have SEND?

i never made any complaints about their child. i removed mine from the setting. No idea if their child has SEN and they haven’t said so can’t comment on what i don’t know. Just for facts

OP posts:
hollybungalow · 17/07/2026 15:07

myrtleWilson · 17/07/2026 12:41

And everyone clapped and cheered, yes?

i have! It’s not a crime to be happy when something works out in your favour? cheer up

OP posts:
hollybungalow · 17/07/2026 15:09

Kingdomofsleep · 17/07/2026 10:56

Sounds like that's drawn a line under the matter if the other girl is leaving the school. I'm sure your dd will make new friends in the class. Hopefully she feels better about going in now

it has drawn a line for me. It was always the combination of the isolation and the bully that i struggled with and this takes one of those dynamics away so i feel much more comfortable that she has the best chance of a positive experience

OP posts:
TheBlueKoala · 17/07/2026 15:24

@hollybungalow So the presumed bully had SEN needs that wasn't catered to. I understand that you're happy for your daughter but it would have been better if the school had made allocations in the first place to avoid all the drama. But going forwards you have to accept that you can't avoid every difficulty in your dds life by opting out.

zeddip · 17/07/2026 15:27

So glad everythings worked out and I hope your daughter settles okay in her new class 😊

DontBuyAnotherBook · 17/07/2026 15:30

We had this. Moved into a class with no friends. They are unlikely to change it. They will say they think carefully before they make decisions but I disagree. It has not been a nice year for my daughter.

DontBuyAnotherBook · 17/07/2026 15:32

Oh is this another thread about a terrible and devious SEN child that we are seeing lots of.

sittingonabeach · 17/07/2026 15:42

TheBlueKoala · 17/07/2026 15:24

@hollybungalow So the presumed bully had SEN needs that wasn't catered to. I understand that you're happy for your daughter but it would have been better if the school had made allocations in the first place to avoid all the drama. But going forwards you have to accept that you can't avoid every difficulty in your dds life by opting out.

Do you think the child with SEN should be in a cupboard on their own, because you can bet your bottom dollar that there were other parents not wanting that child allocated to their class. The world of inclusion for a child with SEN is not inclusive at all.

hollybungalow · 17/07/2026 16:06

TheBlueKoala · 17/07/2026 15:24

@hollybungalow So the presumed bully had SEN needs that wasn't catered to. I understand that you're happy for your daughter but it would have been better if the school had made allocations in the first place to avoid all the drama. But going forwards you have to accept that you can't avoid every difficulty in your dds life by opting out.

Just to clarify as i said before i don’t know if the child has SEN.
I fully agree that the whole process could have been managed much better, starting with communicating to the parents that they will mix classes so we can help prepare the children as well.
I know i can’t shelter my DD from everything bad in the world but i can show her that’s it’s ok to speak out when you think things aren’t right or fair.

OP posts:
hollybungalow · 17/07/2026 16:08

DontBuyAnotherBook · 17/07/2026 15:32

Oh is this another thread about a terrible and devious SEN child that we are seeing lots of.

sorry just to clarify i have not said the child in question has SEN, you have made an assumption.

OP posts:
hollybungalow · 17/07/2026 16:09

DontBuyAnotherBook · 17/07/2026 15:30

We had this. Moved into a class with no friends. They are unlikely to change it. They will say they think carefully before they make decisions but I disagree. It has not been a nice year for my daughter.

So sorry to hear this, it’s so hard as a parent seeing your child unhappy. Have the school helped at all?

OP posts:
NeverDropYourMooncup · 17/07/2026 16:18

hollybungalow · 17/07/2026 16:08

sorry just to clarify i have not said the child in question has SEN, you have made an assumption.

Meeting their needs is generally indicative of having SEND. You don't have to say 'They have SEND' if you refer to the parents saying they felt the school couldn't meet their needs.

hollybungalow · 17/07/2026 16:49

NeverDropYourMooncup · 17/07/2026 16:18

Meeting their needs is generally indicative of having SEND. You don't have to say 'They have SEND' if you refer to the parents saying they felt the school couldn't meet their needs.

i can see that but i didn’t want to label them on this thread when i don’t know that. it could mean something else

OP posts:
Chatot · 17/07/2026 19:13

I think you’ll have more success here if you wait and see how it is in September and then go down the complaint route if they do not deal with the bullying.

From a safeguarding perspective they can’t (although many do) just ignore it and if it’s an ongoing issue it may eventually be an easier choice for them to move one of them to another class.

To use your work example, my team gets mixed up every time we finish a project and I hate it. I miss the people and there’s been one or two teams where we really worked well together and I got moved to a worse team. However I cannot expect them not to do it. It is normal as adults to be mixed up from peers.

You’re right I wouldn’t expect to just carry on if I was bullying but right now - as far as the school is concerned - there’s not yet been any bullying there. The bullying was outside school, some time ago and they weren’t informed. Right now they’re not expecting her to put up with bullying. If in September the bullying starts then your point is perfectly valid.

In the meantime I would teach her and practice scripts on how to respond to things in a way that is firm, will get an adults attention and leave no room for blaming her.

eg other child calls her a name teach her to say firmly “do not call me that” instead of ignoring it or calling names back. In the case of any sort of pushing / hitting etc then a strong “don’t hurt me” followed by immediately moving to safety and telling an adult very clearly eg “Jane just kicked me in the leg”. Lead with a statement of what happened and not the story leading up to it. Practice with her. Roleplay and practice projecting her voice. Talk through situations she’s worried about and roleplay what to do.

In September record everything. Report everything factually. Exactly what happened and when. Include the impact on her life and mental health eg today she said “nobody likes me” or this morning she cried before school and said “I don’t want to go because I’m scared”.

Don’t assume every new adult who joins the school will know about this even if they should. Try your very best not to end up in a situation where it can be claimed that they’re both doing it to each other.

As a teacher I very often ended up in a situation where two sets of parents insisting their child was being bullied by the other. This had been going on for years and years and every time I tried to get to the bottom of it it would be “x did this” “yes but because y did this”. Often this was late primary going all the way to back to issues from reception class. Both parents insisted their child was the one being bullied and whenever their child was caught doing something they insisted their child understandably snapped after dealing with bullying for so long. SLT was extremely unhelpful and this was very difficult as a teacher to untangle.

I know she’s not a robot and it’s not easy not to react but it will help if you can make sure that all the evidence shows this is one sided. Witnesses - other children - tend to be very honest at this age about what they saw happen.

Remind them of their safeguarding responsibility.

Look online for official guidance on what they should do to keep her safe. Don’t use chat gpt. If you use it just use it to help search and then visit the actual websites and quote the relevant parts directly.

Point out clear but concise evidence regarding the affects of bullying if needed and expectations of schools. Anything official from gov uk / NHS / MIND etc would help.

Be persistent, calm and fact-based. Escalate to the correct channels. Force them to write down specifics of whatever plan they are putting in place and find out when it is being reviewed for effectiveness. Show them you will not relent and will not allow your child to suffer.

Or move schools. That’s understandable too.

SecretSquirrelSect · 18/07/2026 07:46

hollybungalow · 16/07/2026 13:14

She is my only child so i don’t have a benchmark to say if this is disproportionate. She does feel things deeply and form strong attachments. I can soothe her but i think when she is tired, alone or bored then her mind wanders to it and she comes for a cry and a cuddle.

I am anxious about it naturally but we have tried to keep our conversations away from her and have been using some books recommended to us to help her deal with change.

No mental health or ND issues on our side

10 days of crying and not going into school over class changes that are happening in September is absolutely no where near the spectrum of normal responses in a young child.

Interesting that their teacher feels there is no ND at play. What does she think accounts for such an unusual and extreme reaction?

How is your child going to manage going forwards? There will be lots of times where she is expected to work with different groups and where she will experience change without warning - supply teachers, on trips, subject learning days?

I can't see how and why the news that one child is leaving in September fixes everything.

hollybungalow · 18/07/2026 08:55

SecretSquirrelSect · 18/07/2026 07:46

10 days of crying and not going into school over class changes that are happening in September is absolutely no where near the spectrum of normal responses in a young child.

Interesting that their teacher feels there is no ND at play. What does she think accounts for such an unusual and extreme reaction?

How is your child going to manage going forwards? There will be lots of times where she is expected to work with different groups and where she will experience change without warning - supply teachers, on trips, subject learning days?

I can't see how and why the news that one child is leaving in September fixes everything.

The teacher said the reactions i’ve shared are normal responses to change.
Sorry if not clear She has gone to school but my gosh it’s been a battle every morning! and she isnt crying all day but is definitely having moments every day.
Hopefully our DD will settle with the extra support her current reception teacher has offered.
My concern was 2 factors she was isolated from close friends and also put in a class with a child who has bullied her in an out of school setting and it was the combination that bothered me. Now one of those factors has been removed i feel more comfortable that she’ll be ok

OP posts:
MeetMeOnTheCorner · 18/07/2026 09:21

How do 4-5 year olds bully? What does the child do out of school and what is the behaviour in school? Most of us come across badly behaved dc and dc are well advised to ignore these dc. At 4, in yr, dc really are not bullies. They just don’t have the required behaviour norms. By highlighting a child as a bully, it puts fear into dc. Highlighting dc is a target also heightens fear. I feel the behaviour of 4/5 year olds should not have labels and we don’t know what Sen there might be.

TheBlueKoala · 18/07/2026 10:05

I actually think it would help your child if you focus LESS on her feelings. Many, not all, parents with one child tends to overdo it which only causes anxiety for the child. She will build strength knowing that you believe in her capacities of dealing with things- NOT by you dealing with things for her and making mountains of molehills that you then try to even out for her.

And I say this without judgment because I was the same before my second child. You want the best for your child, I get that. But sometimes our feeling of what's best is counterintuitive and we need to step back.

HoppingPavlova · 18/07/2026 10:25

A few people seem to be downplaying the bullying, in particular the caterpillar incident. This isn't just a normal bullying incident

Not saying it didn’t happen, but it seems strange. A 4/5yo either picked up poisonous caterpillars, held them while abusing another child into a physically submissive position, all while not being stung themselves, and then pushed them on the child while not being stung themselves. Or, a 4/5yo planned this, had suitable gloves at the ready, didn’t crush the caterpillars while getting the other child under control (and/or had the foresight to take a container to make things easier).

I’ve had the misfortune of being stung by a bastard caterpillar and I’m trying to think how I could have handled even one, while doing this to someone and not being stung myself. The 4/5yo was obviously way more proficient than I could ever hope to be😂.