School staff member took my child’s toy (for his own child) after confiscating items for sale

[Busyybee]

My DC has recently been selling squishy toys at school, he’s an entrepreneur in the making. However we told him it wasn’t a good idea and he carried on.

On Friday he got caught and his teacher gave me his school bag which contained ‘his stock’. They asked me to not allow him to bring them in as it’s not allowed. I told them I’m glad they’ve said it to him & he won’t be bringing them again. As the teacher handed me the bag, another staff member who works at the school asked to see what he was selling and went on to take 1 squishy & said ‘this will be nice for my daughter’. My DC asked him for the money & the staff member said ‘No, your lucky I didn’t take the lot’

My DC asked the staff member for the money or squishy back & he said ‘Na na your not getting it back, your lucky it wasn’t (deputy head) as she would of taken the lot’

This doesn’t sit right with me, value is only £1 but it’s the principle. What is this teaching the children?

What do I do about this?

I always advise to keep these types of communications with schools in writing. Email the staff member and copy in the headteacher and the head of the governing board. Outline exactly what has happened up until this point; times, dates etc. Repeat your request that the item is returned, give them maybe a couple of days. They’re usually quick to correct themselves once there’s a “paper trail”.

Have you submitted a formal complaint, OP?

Loathed to say it but would he have taken it in front of his dad!! My gut says possibly not 😠

I think you need to raise this with the head teacher.

This is appalling.

You are more of the issue here.

what are you teaching your child

You are his parent. Not his friend. If you say No do not take them to school, that means that!

Stop trying to be his friend and act like a parent.

If this is all a misunderstanding, submitting a complaint form would be an unwise escalation. The aim, presumably, is for the toy to be returned. Schools advise issues being settled informally if possible, with a complaint being made only if an informal route fails.

That’s quite an assumption you’ve made as the staff member who took it said it was for their own child 🤨

A reasonable one though. It may well be a misunderstanding. Of course a teacher could take a pupil's toy for their own child but it's so obviously wrong, and foolish in front of the child's parent, that I'm wondering about crossed wires.

Where did your son buy the squishy toys from?

This all the way. In this situation I'd tell my child that's lesson learned for doing something he should not have done it's a £1 toy not a bloody iPhone been taken.
You are looking for a reason to undermine staff and make it that they've done something wrong rather than focusing on the fact your child is pissing about in school.
Yeah there are always a few kids 'selling' in schools and I can tell you for free it's never the well behaved hard working kids it's the trouble makers focusing on anything but learning.

I'd be far more worried about that, than a teacher 'taking' a crap £1 bit of tat!!!

I mean, your son should have done as he was told - it doesn’t matter a shiny shit if his friends are doing it because you told him not to.
Having said that, there’s no way I’d have witnessed that and either not demanded it back, or go straight to the headteacher there and then. Why did you just leave it?

No one comes out well in this tbh. I would chalk it up to experience.

It can be wrong for the child to take the items to school to sell and also wrong for the teacher to take the item.
Allowing the teacher to keep the toy (if that is what has happened) is not a good lesson for the child. It is teaching him that sometimes stealing is justified.

Christ on a bike, I despair of mumsnet 😵‍💫

Yes, OP should have stopped the selling. That doesn't change the fact that a teacher has stolen from a child!

@Busyybee Definitely raise this with the headteacher and governors. I'd be interested to know what other inappropriate behaviour you've witnessed from this teacher.

As I honestly thought he was winding my child up & would give it back today. But after speaking to the staff member today it’s already been passed to their child & my child ISN’T getting it back. Staff members exact words ‘he’s lucky I didn’t take the lot’

This- it's a classic case of FAFO to me.

I will be amazed if this situation actually happened. It'll be what the kid has told his mum happened, to get his mum off his back and focus the attention elsewhere. A £1 squishy is a load of crap that a teacher earning a salary doesn't need to nick for their kid!

My child was bitten by a dog 2yrs ago & the same staff member dismissed it & told my child they will be okay & the dog was probably only playing! We took this further, made a complaint & wrote to the governors & the outcome was a ‘dog zone’ on school premises. Do the staff make sure this is still actioned - NOT AT ALL! From hearing from other parents this staff member has had a ‘one night stand’ with a former parent (had nothing to do with me & that’s his personal matter)

Far too early to raise with governors. It undermines the head, who hasn't yet been given the chance to resolve things.

If someone took my child’s property I wouldn’t leave until I had it back. You sound really passive. Just like saying to your child “it’s not a good idea to sell things at school” which he ignores.

That's really bad.

It happened in front of myself on Friday at home time! My child is NOT lying and I approached the staff member today again to ask for it back & they said ‘no no they’re not getting it back’

I'm surprised by those who seem to think that two wrongs make a right.

The teacher is supposed to hold himself to a higher standard of behaviour than a primary school-aged child. He's supposed to be a role model, not a living warning of the shitty people you're likely to meet in adult life!

Having read about the dog bite incident, I think this sounds like a poorly-managed school. Our local primary school has a "school dog" who has special insurance. He's the only dog allowed on the school site and parents are reminded of this from time to time.

What I would do is tell my kid that he shouldn’t have been selling things anyway. I told him not to, he knows it’s not allowed , but he did it anyway , so suck it up. That’s the price of doing illicit business. He has to stop now, and if he doesn’t he will get a consequence from you too.

Behind the scenes however , I would complain to the head as that is completely inappropriate and unprofessional behaviour from the teacher.