School staff member took my child’s toy (for his own child) after confiscating items for sale

[Busyybee]

My DC has recently been selling squishy toys at school, he’s an entrepreneur in the making. However we told him it wasn’t a good idea and he carried on.

On Friday he got caught and his teacher gave me his school bag which contained ‘his stock’. They asked me to not allow him to bring them in as it’s not allowed. I told them I’m glad they’ve said it to him & he won’t be bringing them again. As the teacher handed me the bag, another staff member who works at the school asked to see what he was selling and went on to take 1 squishy & said ‘this will be nice for my daughter’. My DC asked him for the money & the staff member said ‘No, your lucky I didn’t take the lot’

My DC asked the staff member for the money or squishy back & he said ‘Na na your not getting it back, your lucky it wasn’t (deputy head) as she would of taken the lot’

This doesn’t sit right with me, value is only £1 but it’s the principle. What is this teaching the children?

What do I do about this?

Go to the head?

If he refused to give it to you, write a formal letter of complaint to the head teacher copying in the school governors.
Your child shouldn't have taken them to school but the teacher has no right to keep his personal property and refuse to hand it over to you

I doubt it’s actually theft.

I suspect the OP hasn’t put all the details in the post, and in light of this behaviour being encouraged by the parent, the item has been confiscated until the end of term.

It happened seconds after the bag being given to myself by my child’s teacher. He went through the toys and said ‘I’ll take this for my child’ I said for him to give my child the toy back or my child wants the money but he proceeded to say ‘he’s not getting it back’. As it was Friday I was sure the teacher would give it back today, however he wasn’t having it when I said this to the staff member this morning.

Well then the staff member needs to say this - all he has said is that ‘he’s taken it for his daughter’

Why just take one though? Why just take one and why did the teacher tell the mother he wasn't getting it back. Not he wasn't getting it back until the end of term?

I mentioned everything. My child was NOT given a warning or caught until Friday!

Exactly, if he said he’ll get it back at the end of term then I’d be okay with this.

This.
Confiscation of inappropriate items is legitimate. Theft from pupils for personal gain is not. This is a matter for the Governors.

To shake the child up a bit after flouting the rules again and again?

There is a kind of parenting where a child has done something wrong and the parent searches for something, anything to make the issue about someone else….so many threads on MN like this.

Personally I would say to my child..that’s something for the teachers honour …but I told you not to do what you went on to do and that concerns me more.

The tale told by your DC is a distraction you’ve run with OP

Imagine if there was something* faulty about what was sold and a young sibling choked or similar and the purchase was tracked back to the school ..can you imagine the scandal. This is the risk to the school. Far more worrying a parent’s seeming to evade, by distraction, parenting their child and ensuring they listen to what they say to do or not do

I suppose it's a learning opportunity for your child - that even those who set themselves up as authority figures and arbiters of the rules; are often flawed at best and at worst are venal, hypocritical and self-serving.

I remember the age I realised teachers weren't all King Solomon characters who usually did the right thing - it was a real lightbulb moment.

I do think you should stand your ground about getting the toy back though.

Just wait until he’s at secondary school…! He sounds like the type that will be bringing all sorts in… He’ll be complaining about how unfair his spliff was permanently and cheerfully confiscated by the art teacher in a few years!
Risk of bringing things to sell in school. Make sure DS learns his lesson. I’m not sure why you told him it was a bad idea but then let him? If you wanted him to face the consequences, then this is it and he got off lightly!

Anti-semitism. Pro-Palestine marches. Rape gangs. Shoplifting. The police are really quite busy at the moment. They'll be queuing up to investigate the alleged theft of a £1 toy.

It’s not a tale by my child, it’s happened in front of me! The bag has been handed to me by the teacher & another staff member came along and took a toy! ALL IN FRONT OF ME!

regarding selling at school, so many of the yr6 children are doing it so he wanted too. Like I said, I told him it’s not a good idea and maybe he can do it afterschool - but like he said (which I am aware of too) so many kids in his yr have been selling bits since yr5!

Not really!

DC has hardly committed a crime for selling a few bits at school! I said it was a bad idea because he goes ahead taking loads in his bag, some children may not be able to afford it & this can make them feel left out when others are buying. I’m glad he has entrepreneurial mindset, however I wish he wouldn’t want to use this during school hours!

FFS
Where do you live in the country that has stations full of Police Officers just sitting twiddling their thumbs, hoping to be called out to what may, or may not be the theft of a £1 toy ?

I’m not sure why you wouldn’t have said then…I’ll make sure my child doesn’t do it again and I would have said you’re welcome to the toy and focussed on parenting my son.

You really aren’t seeing the excuses you are teaching your son here

An important detail has emerged! You witnessed this 'theft' yourself.

First, you didn't intervene when your child did something you had asked him not to do. Then, you watched a teacher take something that belonged to your child and said nothing.

A course in assertiveness might serve you better than posting here.

That’s what I was thinking!

A teacher taking a child’s toy in order to give it away to their own child is not an appropriate punishment for breaking a school rule. It’s petty theft.

It’s not comparable to a teacher confiscating an item from a child temporarily (and perhaps giving it back to the child’s parent instead of the child).

But at least it’s still a learning opportunity for the child, albeit surely not one the school would have intended to teach.

Apologies your child not son

Maybe you should read the posts. I ASKED THE STAFF MEMBER TO GIVE MY CHILD THE TOY BACK!

As the teacher handed me the bag, another staff member who works at the school asked to see what he was selling and went on to take 1 squishy & said ‘this will be nice for my daughter’.

I wouldn’t say it’s “emerged” considering that it’s in the OP.

ty, someone that’s read it

My apologies. I should have read your original post more carefully.

In that case, I would suggest you email the Head outlining what happened and saying you would like the teacher to give your son the toy back. It is too soon to involve governors. (I am a former school governor and would immediately refer a case like this to the head.) You only need to do that if the head doesn't sort it out. Writing (email) is better than phoning because you have a record.

My hunch is that there has been a misunderstanding. Schools are noisy places. You could include a line like this:

While I recognise that my child should not have been selling toys in school, quite clearly the toy taken by (name of teacher) is the property of my son. In order to demonstrate to him that personal property must be respected, I hope you will agree with me that it is important that it be returned.