Why is behaviour so hard to manage in schools? Could single child syndrome be a possible cause? Homeschooling to help?

[Paperbear]

It occurred to me today that in school today there are so many only children. In a particular class I was thinking about - almost every single one of the boys are only children. It made me wonder whether this might connect to some of the challenges schools are facing today.

After all, a classroom made up mostly of only children is very different from the classrooms our grandparents experienced, when families were larger and siblings provided natural social and learning dynamics.

Perhaps this is one reason homeschooling can offer a more natural learning curve allowing lessons to move at a child’s own pace, providing one-on-one attention, and creating opportunities for learning that feel integrated with real life, much like the learning that once happened among siblings.

China and other east asian countries have a high proportion of only children but they dont have behavioral problems.

Such issues are mainly to do with culture , namely that parents here dont respect teachers so why would children respect teachers or schools.

Dh's youngest sister is 1 of 4 but was expelled for her behavior, she also pushed her principal. Her mum always said that teachers were useless and to be challenged, she also admired homeschooling.

So, the argument @Paperbear is homeschooling - which may place the child in more socially isolated situations unless the parent/s actively seek out opportunities - rather than in class, because no sibling children aren’t socialized adequately? It would reduce peer to peer interaction

I think it's caused by people starting stupid discussions online.

The worst behaved children in my (only) daughter's class are twins.

From what I've heard from homeschooling parents, homeschooling not only allows children to learn at their own pace but allows children to form connections on their own terms. With thousands of daytime clubs and activities these days, school can feel more confining from what it seems. The idea is a more tailored life to the individual.

‘Only child syndrome’ does not exist and is based on the debunked 19th-century claims of G Stanley Hall. www.apa.org/monitor/2024/09/only-children

I thinks probably more child centred permissive parenting than 1 child parenting.

This reads like an AI bot.

This is a terribly written post- are you AI?

I do not believe in Only Child Syndrome since you can’t generalise kids behaviour like that. Kids have parents with different parenting capabilities, different amounts of contact with children…

If you insist on generalising then you could say that only children would be more school ready as parents only have one child to potty train etc

There’s a behaviour crisis in school because of money and resources. Kids who shouldn’t be in mainstream schooling are stuck there because there’s nowhere else to go. Parents who shouldn’t have their kids in their care don’t face consequences from social services and the police because a lack of money and resources means the barriers are much higher. Notice I say kids because many negligent parents will have neglected their responsibility to use contraception. There’s no parental support for those who would do a good job if services like Homestart were still available. A lack of wage growth and a fall in quality of life because of inflation means kids may be growing up in unhappier homes where the adults have to work more for less than previous generations.

This screams AI. If you want to homeschool then go ahead. 🤷‍♀️ If you are rich enough then your kids can earn money without qualifications.

I’m one of six and I was a proper little shit, could give these kids a real run for their money.

I actually did some research on this at uni (specifically about Scotland) and the results I got for surveys and interviews were

• Underfunding and not enough help for the increasing number of SEN diagnoses.
• The pandemic and isolation.
• Social media has exposed kids to harmful stuff and this is why the racialised and sexist elements of abuse have come from.

Didn’t get anything about only children.

Oh ffs. What an awful way to judge people. And “only child syndrome” is not a thing!!!

Why do you think that only children would be worse behaved than children with siblings?

😆I want some of whatever you are on lol. DD is an only child and one of the best, if not the best behaved child in class. Thoughtful and kind, listens, kind, impeccable behaviour according to her teachers.
Her behaviour at home, not always so much lol but she’s a good girl mostly and I’m very proud.

To be fair it seems a decent class, no real trouble, no bullying, it’s a good school.

That's interesting! It's good that this didn't flag up in your study. I get this may have annoyed some people to bring it up, but I guess if we never question things, there is no chance for things to improve.

This is part of it a lot of padagogic concepts that are fashionable now are centred on the child as an individual.This is great but the individual also needs to be able to work in a group.
Our society is very selfish as well.Sweeping statement that I can't prove but I feel it quite often.

I don’t think it’s anything to do with it at all. We’re in a period of massive change with a hugely increased number of send children in mainstream schools, we’re really only very early on in our understanding of neurodiversity so best approaches are still changing and adapting. We understand more about the impact of trauma and neurodiversity on behaviour so we aren’t treating children with pda/odd/adhd with consequences any more but we haven’t yet got the balance right between the adaptive teaching needed for some children and the a more traditional system of expectations and consequences that help other children thrive.

We’re being fobbed off with the lie that adaptive teaching methods benefit the whole class when this is maybe not strictly true. Funding has been massively cut for support. Parents are stressed to fuck and having to work more than ever, technology has fundamentally changed childhood and how children are able to focus on something not instantly rewarding for extended periods of time, the 2014 curriculum made the curriculum harder and less fun (ie less tolerable) especially for younger children and schools (rightly so) can’t jus exclude any kid that’s disruptive any more.

I’m not sure the op has posted this in good faith, but what I can observe as a teacher is that there are far more children now who are expecting/demanding/requiring a private lesson. I don’t know whether they are only children or not. I hadn’t realised she meant from the social aspect, but it is an interesting point re the private lesson situation, simply because they’re more used to having an adults attention all to themselves. 30% of kids don’t listen/process/whatever the group instruction (whereas ten years ago that would have been 10%) and need individual instructions. It is actually interesting to muse that some of those may well be onlies.

This was what I had assumed from the ‘I need individual instructions’ children, but I think the op raises an interesting point.

I see lots of chaos in schools. I've thought about it from lots of angles...
could it be the internet era kids, could it be the gentle parenting styles... could it be changes in family dynamics. I do think you cannot generalise kids, but also, because of the internet and parents fearing their child to play outside, school is often the only place a child will see another child in the day. And if it is under rigid routines, I wondered if it could contribute. I know this post has annoyed some people who have an only child, but this is reality and we have to explore all options, it's getting worse and is the reason lots of parents are pulling their children from school. Yes, some children are the only child will be the best behaved in class, and some of the most funny kind children I know are the only children - it doesn't mean we cannot explore this topic as some of the replies on this post suggest.

There’s been a recent push by the right wing to blame single child families on the fall of western civilisations but this is a new one.

Personally I think that if you live in a country with easy access ti contraception then you should only have the number of kids that you can afford and physically/emotionally cope with. That number is different for each family because everyone’s circumstances are different.