Why is behaviour so hard to manage in schools? Could single child syndrome be a possible cause? Homeschooling to help?

[Paperbear]

It occurred to me today that in school today there are so many only children. In a particular class I was thinking about - almost every single one of the boys are only children. It made me wonder whether this might connect to some of the challenges schools are facing today.

After all, a classroom made up mostly of only children is very different from the classrooms our grandparents experienced, when families were larger and siblings provided natural social and learning dynamics.

Perhaps this is one reason homeschooling can offer a more natural learning curve allowing lessons to move at a child’s own pace, providing one-on-one attention, and creating opportunities for learning that feel integrated with real life, much like the learning that once happened among siblings.

Rubbish it's goady nonsense. What did you observe, where? .

I think the fact children don't go outside to play forms a part of awful behaviour. When children were allowed out of their parents sight and they played in the street or park with other children they soon learned the pecking order and their place in it. They learned how to play,behave and fit in with a group. They learned how to interact, what to do and more importantly what not to do, there was swift justice if you were out of order.
When was the last time your child went out on their own with a friend to play ?
No wonder many children are anxious and totally unprepared for society.

I reported the thread a while ago but still left up.

In my 40 yrs of teaching, the badly behaved children all had one thing in common: poor parenting. Some of those were only children; many more had multiple siblings.

'Classrooms our grandparents experienced, when families were large'

• British families in the early 20th century weren't actually that large on average, you know. The Great Drpression in the 1930s affected fertility rate, for one thing.

'In 1800, the average British woman had 4.97 children over the course of her life, about the same amount as the average woman living in Burkina Faso today. A century later, Britain’s fertility rate had slipped to 3.9 children per woman. And thirty years later, in 1935, it had plummeted to 1.79, well below the replacement rate of 2.1 – the number of children per woman needed to keep the population steady.'

This article is good..

https://worksinprogress.co/issue/understanding-the-baby-boom/

In my time as a school governor, the complaints we had from parents were in the majority pushing back against discipline surrounding poor behaviour where parents didn’t enforce the expectations of good behaviour, support the teachers, or encourage learning at home and school.

Do you support corporal punishment then?

I've mentioned elsewhere on these boards: we had parents who went to the LA to demand that a teacher lose his job...after their 15 yr old son had punched the teacher in the stomach in front of the entire school. (It happened during a fire drill.)

The teacher - smaller than the 15 yr old - had put out his hand to block a second punch.

Why would smaller families mean adults become child's friend?

My child is an only child and she is extremely well behaved and a rule follower. She is greatly disrupted by misbehaving students.

I think it mostly comes down to parental expectations. If parents expect their children to take school seriously, they will.

They may still have challenges at school. My daughter has special needs and has her own challenges. When something is an issue we address it immediately so that it doesn’t interfere with her education.

Single child syndrome ? Like it’s an illness , something bad

not that you have any bias or anything

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/singletons/202308/why-only-children-often-go-to-the-head-of-the-class

the academic performance of only children is significantly better than that of children with siblings.” The researchers looked specifically at four avenues—financial resources, parenting time, the closeness of parent-child relationships, and personality traits—to determine what gives only children an educational advantage.

My dh had a vasectomy when I was 6 months pregnant and one of the reasons is so we could focus all our resources on 1 child. My baby went to Mandarin class from 6 months as well as other baby classes and playgroups where he socialises with other babies.

https://cls.ucl.ac.uk/being-an-only-child-doesnt-affect-childrens-development/

Family background matters more than being an only child when it comes to children’s development, writes Professor Alice Goisis.

Have seen it from both sides as a parent, and as a childcare worker.Some parents think saying no or not allowing something means they are being unkind to their child.It's very worrying because these children do not learn that they can't have everything they want, cannot cope if they are not centre of attention.( Currently do not live in the uk, I was hoping it might be a bit better in terms of this trend.)

As a former teacher of many years, I’ve seen many badly behaved children who have siblings. I had one well-behaved child.

Like an OP my (only) child is always praised at school for excellent behaviour, she’d hate the idea of behaving badly and is really disturbed by bad behaviour of others.

I find it highly insulting that you imply only children are in some way disadvantaged that parents of only child parent poorly or let our children behave badly. There is so much prejudice against only children, it is horrible.

Something I'm wondering is...if previous generations' methods of childraising worked better, why did recent generations start using stuff like 'gentle parenting' that doesn't seem to work well? A case of 'if it works, don't fix it', maybe?

More stressors one factor, maybe?

It may have worked at the time because children were often ruled through fear. That definitely needed fixing. Ruling through fear was just another way of not really parenting. Now people who choose not to really parent do that in a different way.

Good parenting takes effort.

Parents.

Kids that are awful at school are usually picking it up from their parents and a lack of parenting. That can occur from parents with one kids or multiple. In my experience the multiples get even less attention and are worse.

Ah yes that does happen to (Social Worker here).

Nothing to do with having or not having a sibling, mostly down to an overly demanding and full curriculum and poor parenting skills.

Children who behave badly have often been spoiled.

I recall a brother and sister who were totally different. The girl was studious, well-behaved...The young son and heir [I mean that literally] refused to work: "I'll be inheriting the business."

When I pointed out that he'd need to be able to do his paperwork, etc he gave me a pitying look: "You pay someone to do that for you."

I told him that he'd better hope never to have a dishonest employee, in that case.

I recall another brother and sister whose behaviour was unbelievably atrocious. The girl was worse than the boy. One day when she didn't get her own way, she wrecked my classroom.

She is now an adult. She and her mother both dodged a manslaughter charge recently. The behaviour which led to the victim's death sounded just like the behaviour that I'd witnessed in my classroom.

Nailed it @MissingSockDetective
Curriculum is awful, no space for creativity and movement. And parents have this utterly bizarre wish for their child to be their "best friend". You're not their best friend, you're there to love them unconditionally but also to make them feel safe and put boundaries in place. Why on earth would you want to be the best friend of a child? Bizarre.