Should I report concerns about teacher socialising with pupil and parent?

[Jblingsmum]

My son dumped his girlfriend. So i asked him why. He said he didn't really want to chat about it but he did open up to his dad. He said that his girlfriend and her mother spend a lot time with a male teacher from school together. Football outing and meeting for the odd coffee together. Hes told her she needs to speak to the head teacher. Shes saying she wont. So he dumped her. I cant have my son mixed up in this. It doesn't feel right at all. Im sure this shouldn't be allowed.
If I report it. Its going to look like him.
advice needed

Yes. Good point.

This isn't forbidden at all. I've never worked in a school were there was a policy restricting friendships or relationships with parents.
Quite often members of staff especially those from the local area and have established these friendships through children and as neighbours. Also I know a few teachers who ended up in a relationship with a parent in the school.

Teachers can be friends with parents.

My dm was friends with male and female teachers.

Your son sounds quite controlling. What’s it to do with him who she spends time with when with a parent?

Nope.

It is clearly a different matter if a parent and
teacher are already friends. Please see my PP where I have posted a link to a staff
code of conduct.

In a small village this sort of thing can be hard to avoid. The reception teacher is cousin to the year 6 teacher and both of them have their kids go through the school and they all socialise with their wider family all of whose children go to the school when they are primary age.

i’ve never heard of a school making teachers declare their family relationships to the school.

i agree. But that is different.

I remember my niece coming home from her first day of secondary school, absolutely floored by the fact that her form tutor was her second cousin.

We later learned from the cousin that one of her friends had put her hand up and then blurted out, "Sir, X said you have the same last name as her Uncle." Which is how she learned she was related to him. (We have a big family) I think it took her by surprise that teachers had families
The same niece is now doing her PGCE at her old primary school, where I imagine she knows most of the parents, as she will have been at school with them.

This I went to a teeny school of 40 in whole school.. teeny rural village, both my mum and head had kids at the school!
Should I report my mum?

What exactly are you reporting? 2 adults hanging out?

FML teachers really cannot win can they. Whatever they do some fool wants to bitch and moan

You're both weird and it sounds like the girlfriend has had a lucky escape

I'm really good friends with several of the teachers who were at DS2s secondary school when he was there, in fact one of them is coming over for dinner tonight. When DS still lived at home he used to just say 'Hello miss' with a big smile when she was at our house socially but then treated her just as he would any of our other friends. He was clearly able to establish the difference between when she was a teacher (in school) and when she was a family friend (at our house, her house or out and about).

I'd be really concerned about your son to be honest, it would worry me he wasn't able to see the differentiation between school and home.

Agree. Feels like a weird attempt to get the daughter/teacher into trouble somehow? What on earth do you think your son is “mixed up in”, @Jblingsmum?

Huh?

I’m good friends with my ds’s form tutor. When he was allocated to her form I asked her if that would be ok. She was completely fine about it, other staff were aware, there’s no issue. We don’t really talk about work stuff beyond a general grumble anyway! We both work in jobs where we deal with confidential information and that’s that.

Theres either more to this situation, or you are being weird.

It does sounds like you guys have an unusual perspective

There has to be more to this. How old is your son?

Yes, I agree. What's the issue?

She's better off not involved with you and your son!

what do expect teachers to do when they live in their catchment? Are they not allowed friends?

Sounds like someone never got to the point where they realised teachers don't actually.live in school and that we do normal things like have friends, go out for dinner, go to the pub. We're even allowed to go on holiday and into supermarkets!

Some teachers have children. Some teachers even have neighbours.

It'd a crazy world out there..!

You haven't articulated what the problem is. Why did your son want his ex gf to go to the Head? To say what?

Oh my! I just had my first actual mn just choked on my wine tea… 🤣

I met my wife at a parents evening (me teacher of her son) we started dating (much to the poor lads embarrassment, he was 11 at the time) they moved in a year later.

It's really not an issue, it doesn't break any professional standards or anything like that. Many teachers teach their children/step children/ partners children etc. It only becomes an issue if something underhand or illegal is at play (ie nepotism, exam fixing etc..) but that's vanishingly rare.

Your son dumped his girlfriend because she won't tell the headteacher that her mum is friends (or more) with another teacher? That's nuts.
How old is he?
What on earth do you mean you can't have your son mixed up in all this?

I could perfectly understand him not wanting to hang out with his teacher outside school, I get that might feel weird for a kid. Or if he worries his girlfriend or her mum might talk to the teacher about him.
The rest of it I don't get at all - have you missed some information out?