Should I report concerns about teacher socialising with pupil and parent?

[Jblingsmum]

My son dumped his girlfriend. So i asked him why. He said he didn't really want to chat about it but he did open up to his dad. He said that his girlfriend and her mother spend a lot time with a male teacher from school together. Football outing and meeting for the odd coffee together. Hes told her she needs to speak to the head teacher. Shes saying she wont. So he dumped her. I cant have my son mixed up in this. It doesn't feel right at all. Im sure this shouldn't be allowed.
If I report it. Its going to look like him.
advice needed

Teachers are allowed to be friends with parents and by extension have some contact with their children. Unless you’re concerned the male teacher is grooming the daughter there’s really nothing to report here, or you’ve not shared the full story. Your son seems to have overreacted based on the information available here.

Is the teacher in a relationship with the mother? I’m not sure I see the problem? As long as the teacher isn’t in a relationship with the girl!!

I don’t really get the issue. Teachers are allowed to have civilian friends.

I’m out for dinner tomorrow with the head teacher from my kids school! What’s the issue?

I must be missing something. What is the issue?

I assume the mum is friends with or in a relationship with the teacher? Why would this be an issue?

I would imagine most schools would at least discourage this and it may be actually be against the school’s code of conduct they have for the staff. It could fairly obviously create problems eg the member of staff might start treating the child more favourably if they are friends or even if they don’t, they lay themselves open to accusations.

@Jblingsmum Is there a massive drip feed coming? Because otherwise I don't see the issue. Teachers are allowed to have friends and maybe he's dating the girl's mother. Do you think he's grooming the daughter or has other sinister motives? Why is your son so uptight about the situation? Are you sure he's telling you the whole story?

I’m friends with a teacher at my kids school. We both understand boundaries and that’s ok! What a strange post.

What are you and your ds concerns exactly?
My dc,7, is friends with her last primary schools teacher, she takes my dc out in the holidays for days out. They both have a lovely bond and enjoy each others company.

Newsflash!

They don't.

Sometimes teachers even send their own children to the schools where they work.

Totally bizarre on your (and your ds) part op. Teachers and parents can be friends. If the suspicion was that the teacher was socialising with the pupil alone then yes it would be odd. But mum and teacher? Absolutely fine. I’m very confused about what you’re worried about your son being ‘mixed up in’.

I’m a secondary teacher and friends with two parents of children at my school. What is the issue?

You’re right- teachers should be locked up in a cupboard with the school stationary supplies at the end of the day. Unreal that one of them is out there socialising with people!

If a teacher works in the area they live in they're going to end up with children in the school who they have some connection to. I don't know what the issue is?

This is the strangest post I’ve read on here for a while. I don’t get the issue at all.

Stay out of it! For all you know the mum and teacher have been friends for years. And even if they are not there is nothing to say a teacher cannot date a parent.

In the school I worked in several teachers sent their children to that school and were thus actually married to a parent!

more seriously, teachers are allowed to date or be in a relationship with parents.

This is nuts, both my twins are currently taught by people who have kids at the school themselves, so DS gets invited to Isaac's birthday and Isaac's dad is also his head of year.....

DS thinks it's hilarious that Mr X exists on a weekend, but then, he's 8

What is your concern OP? Your sons reaction seems strange unless there is something more to this that you haven’t posted.

Hes told her she needs to speak to the head teacher. Shes saying she wont. So he dumped her.

Sorry but your son sounds controlling and unhinged. Unless there's a massive drip feed coming, he basically dumped her because her mum is friends (or dating) a teacher. What on earth was she supposed to "speak" to the head about?

It's also very weird because teens don't really care what their parents are up to, and are even less likely to concern themselves with the "appropriateness" of relationships. There's no possible way two teens give a shit about workplace relationships that involve two consenting adults.

There is definitely more to the story or he's lying about the reason they broke up.

This is weird OP!

As in why you or your son think this is a problem.

Parents are people
Teachers are people

Yes if the parent and teacher were romantically ending parents' evenings, that could be a concern. But teachers have friends outside school, to say two people who get on well together, or even love each other aren't allowed to because one works where the other's child goes to school is horribly unfair. Also actually sometimes someone will go to school were their parent works....!

Why is your son so worried about this that he ditched his gf? It makes me wonder if he was concerned that the teacher's interest was in the gf and not her mother. I can't think of any other reason why it might lead him to ditch her.

If the teacher is friends with the mum and the DD just happens to be around, then I don't see a problem, but would certainly be asking myself what you son's thinking is here.