Should I report concerns about teacher socialising with pupil and parent?

[Jblingsmum]

My son dumped his girlfriend. So i asked him why. He said he didn't really want to chat about it but he did open up to his dad. He said that his girlfriend and her mother spend a lot time with a male teacher from school together. Football outing and meeting for the odd coffee together. Hes told her she needs to speak to the head teacher. Shes saying she wont. So he dumped her. I cant have my son mixed up in this. It doesn't feel right at all. Im sure this shouldn't be allowed.
If I report it. Its going to look like him.
advice needed

Honestly desperate for the OP to come back with some sort of context here.

Unless the teacher is behaving inappropriately towards the girl then there is no issue. I have friends who are teachers and as time went on my children went to the school where they taught. I work in a school and some of colleagues have children or grandchildren in the school. When I was at school the headteachers twin daughters were in my class and his wife (their mother) was also a teacher in the school!

Why arent you answering questions? I have several friends and cousins who are teachers. Shock horror, some taught in DC's school and have socialised with us and been to our home.
Another friend married a teacher at her DC's school. I assume they went out together first.

Mixed up in what exactly? Being a controlling prick?
He dumped her because she wouldn’t do what he wanted and now somehow he managed to convince you to “report”. Report what? Is he even concerned about this girl in any way , or is it just jealousy?

I was at secondary school with a couple of boys who were in classes taught by their dads.

He’s told her she needs to speak to the head teacher And say what, exactly? My mum is friends with Mr Smith the history teacher? How does your DS know that the teacher hasn’t already had a quick word with the head, telling them that he’s friends with a particular mum so probably best he doesn’t mark any important exam papers for her etc? I don’t have much truck with the ‘don’t grass’ thing, but your DS is being a right little busy body.

Shes saying she wont. So he dumped her Well isn’t he just delightful? Do as I tell you or I’ll leave? I think he’s probably done her a favour in the long run. He sounds insufferable.

I cant have my son mixed up in this Mixed up in what, exactly? The adults are having coffee together, not running an organised crime group. Your DS wasn’t even invited, let alone asked to get himself involved in anything nefarious. You are being completely ridiculous.

I mean….are teachers supposed to roll into a cupboard and shut down? I did get hauled into the office when the deputy head realised that I was taking 2 students to the yard with me after work, because I shared a horse with their mum and she had expressly asked me to take them as I was coming anyway. To convey students, you usually need business insurance, unless you have parental permission. I told her it was nothing to do with school should I choose to have a parent as a friend. Back in the day, I babysat for a couple, one of whom went on to be my English teacher, who I had to call by her surname in school. We all socialised outside of school, as they were part of the parish we all lived in.

Longwinded way of saying I don’t really see the issue.

He dumped his girlfriend because he didn’t like his girlfriend’s parents choice of friends ?

As if he dumped her.

Classic case of an entitled male and his mother who thinks that the whole world should revolve around her little prince.

A teenage girl doesn’t want to be in a relationship with your son so you are going to gee him on to attempt to discredit her mother. Brilliant. I’m sure he won’t make a dick of himself.

Is it Ridiculous Expectations of Teachers Week on Mumsnet?!

Are we really expecting them to not have boobs, emergencies OR friends/relationships now?!!

It sounds like the teacher is either boffing the Mum or is friends with her. And frankly, so what if he is?!!

Christ, my DS's primary head teacher and his family used to meet up with one of my School Mum friends and their kids for a week of camping in France every year. You know, because FRIENDS!

Not unethical AT ALL.

At no point during either teacher training or working in the role did I ever hear of this as a problem.

At the very most, the teacher could divulge to the school if he enters into a romantic relationship with the Mum but if they are friends he has no obligation to tell school at all.

Why would DS dump his GF over this? And what exactly are you fretting about him being 'mixed up in'?

HUGE overreaction here, OP.

I’m really good friends with a teacher who teaches my sons, is that not allowed? Unless there is a MASSIVE drip feed coming you’re being utterly ridiculous!

Come on @Jblingsmum . Tell us what it is we are all missing.

I have taught many of my friend’s children. We have also been on holiday together too. Unsure what the issue is. They knew to refer to me as Mrs X during school and my real name out of it.

Outside of school I was simply their mums friend.

Exactly!

I'm so confused by this post.

The only way I can see this being an issue is if either party are already in a relationship and even then it’s got nothing to do with you or your son.

Red flag that your son dumped his girlfriend because she wouldn’t listen to him.

Teachers can have friends outside of school even if they are teaching the child. I promise teachers do leave school OP. They don’t just sit at their desk waiting for the next day.

lots of teacher bashing tonight

My instinct is that @Jblingsmum is having a little joke here.

I've run her post through my "things that make sense" processor three times and that's the only suggestion it came up with.

Yes. I did.

My Mum and I were friends with my kids old primary HT, I actually used to babysit her kids!! I am not sure I am seeing the issue - is he inappropriate with the daughter??

If not then its nothing to do with you or your son!

Honestly.... what is your problem ???

How old is your son and how old is his (now) ex girlfriend? Is the teacher a teacher at the girl's school? Teachers can be friends with parents outside of school, and in turn spend time with their child. At my previous school we had to notify the school if we were friend's with any parents and subsequently had contact with their child outside school.

For all you know the teacher and this girl's Mum might have known each other years! Or they may have started a new hobby and met that way.

You don't have all the information, and are implying that the teacher has improper intentions towards the girl. You don't know that at all, and that's one serious jump to conclusions.

Is this a teacher your DS knows and is he quite young?
If this makes him uncomfortable, I would suggest it might be because he hasn’t fully transitioned to the adult world. Don’t worry he will get there, but perhaps he isn’t ready for a girlfriend until he is more mature.

Sorry i forgot to mention. Teacher is married mother is married. Its the fact shes told my son not to mention anything. Said teacher only been at the school over a year.

This drip-feed sounds more and more as though someone is making stuff up. I wonder if he raised his self-righteous objections with the now ex-girlfriend and she has in fact dumped him?

So are they having an affair or are they just friends? And does your son actually know or is he jumping to conclusions?

Hahahah staff can be parents of pupils at the same school you know. They can socialise, get pissed and go on holiday together.