Complaint against school

[tubsters]

Posting with a name change to protect my child’s identity. Has anyone had experience with a Level 3 complaint panel hearing at a school?

My 12-year-old son, who has never really been in trouble before, was given what I feel were punitive and degrading punishments. For example, he was made to sit alone on a bench in the yard for about an hour, as all the other children walked past knowing he’d been excluded from a trip – a clear act of public humiliation.

He was also called into a meeting with the Head and three other teachers, where he was pressured to end every sentence with “sir.” He was clearly nervous, and this only heightened the power imbalance and distress he felt. he is usually very polite and would always use ‘sir ‘ in normal circumstances

I accept that children need discipline and have always supported teachers, but the way this was handled felt oppressive and unnecessary, especially for a child who posed no danger and was already anxious.

The Head has denied much of this, so I escalated it to the governors and it’s now going to a panel hearing. I feel quite daunted about going up against the school, but I strongly believe this needs to be addressed for my son’s sake and for other children in the future.

If anyone has been through a panel hearing and can share their experience or advice, I’d be really grateful.

maybe I’m old fashioned but these do not sound like humiliating and degrading punishments. I am only 47 but remember the strap being used in my school in Scotland. I don’t think being made to sit on a bench is going to kill him and you have already said he uses the term ‘sir’ anyway. What punishment would you prefer - a pat on the head and a mars bar?

It depends on what he did to an extent.

When did this happen? If he’s 12 then I guess it was his first year in secondary school.
What did he do to warrant sitting on a bench and missing the trip? It’s hard to say if that was an unfair punishment when we don’t know what he did.

I have been to a panel complaint meeting. My take home lesson really, was that if they couldn't manage to answer sensibly before the panel meeting, then the panel meeting is not going to produce a sensible answer.

My case was really very strong and the problem was much more severe than the one that you are talking about, but they closed ranks and my complaint was rejected. We then had to leave the school because the working relationship with the SLT was in ruins by the end of it.

The one really good advice I got, under completely different circumstances, was from a lovely primary school head teacher. The man said "There is no point arguing about what happened in the past, especially if people can't even agree on what happened. If you don't trust these people to look after your child, then don't send him to them. Send him somewhere else." That was really good advice.

When you go to the panel I would advise you to record the meeting because the minutes they took at my meeting were rubbish. Also take a professional along that you trust as a witness.

Good luck.

I'd love to hear the other side of this. You're naturally posting with a lot of emotion but what you're not posting is a lot of the facts.

What did he do?
Has he breached the school behaviour policy?
What, exactly, is the remedy you want?
Perhaps its not the right school for him?
Governors do not "side" with anyone.
They apply the school policy and law - which is their statutory duty.

What did he do for these 'punishments' to be imposed?

I've been a governor on a panel. Some complaints I have upheld, others not

What did he do in the first place? On the face of it the 'punishment' sounds very mild. He wasn't allowed on a trip and had to sit out, and he was expected to be polite when addressing school staff. What do you feel would have been more appropriate?

You'll be fine. Panels are just made up of people and they'll want to get to the bottom of what happened.

In my experience of school complaints, neither side tend to come out feeling satisfied. I've done a bunch of investigations (school governor) and sat on a few panels. They're very stressful for the people involved and no one ever seems very happy at the end of them.

Without hearing both sides, its hard to guess, but most likely they'll uphold some of your complaint and reject some of it. Where they've upheld it, they'll make some recommendations to the school for improvements.

It's worth giving some thought to what you actually want to happen because no one can undo what's already taken place. I always ask complainants what they want the outcome to be and will inform them what is within our power and what isn't. Usually they want the head fired and that's never happened in any complaint I'm aware of. In the one complaint I was involved with that went to tribunal, the judge found in favour of the school on all but one point and the result of that one point was the school had to write a letter of apology to the child.

I've seen many kids taken out of schools following a complaint because the parents didn't feel fully validated and couldn't move past it. So try to be realistic about what the end result will be.

What you describe does feel very heavy handed for a child who isn't usually in trouble. I doubt they intended the punishment to be humiliating although that might have been the outcome for your son. In which case the panel will acknowledge that the school didn't intend to humiliate him but will recommend that in future, children not going on the reward trip wait in the classroom (for instance). If one member of staff is particularly at fault, they might recommend that the member of staff has more training or accepts a disciplinary letter on their record.

Do children usually call staff "sir"? If so, it would probably be acceptable to require that he addressed them correctly when discussing his behaviour with him. If its not usual for children to use "sir" then it would be completely bizarre to insist on this - and they might deny they did so in which case the panel will have to decide who is telling the truth which is hard. If two or more staff members deny it then the panel is unlikely to conclude they are both lying.

Sorry for the long post! Td;lr - the panel itself will be fine, but the difficult bit is what happens afterwards.

i am not asking for your judgements about the punishments as I have made up my own mind about that based on being a parent of 4 for over 20 years.
i actually dont think humiliating children has any place no matter what they do, clear others think differently.

i am asking for panel experience as a parent

Thank you! I don’t want the head fired but I would like an apology as to the manner they handled it

He wasn't allowed on a school trip so has to sit in a bench for a lesson while the teacher taught their class I presume? (maybe PE). His behaviour got him excluded. Fair enough

Made him call the teacher sir ... absolutely correct as is every other child in the school. He is being taught respect

You need to reinforce school rules so your little darling behaves appropriately

Have you made sure your son has apologised for his part?

Oh does it . Sitting on a bench in full view as his friends file past him upset has no justification

Not massively interested in your view- sorry. I am asking about the panel hearing. I know my own take on the other things

It’s really not the big deal you’re making of it.

Wow, is there a reason you are being so rude?

humilition and degrading punishments don’t have a place now in modern schools. Might in your parenting perhaps

Out of curiosity where would you prefer him to have been sitting? Presumably he was there because another teacher was supervising him and their class?

Patronising

Sitting outside on a yard in public view as he is crying as all his friends file past him?
i dont find that acceptable.

Those punishments are not humiliating. Maybe embarrassing for your son but at 12 years of age he should be well able to deal with the punishments outlined. If he has broken rules or misbehaved then good on the school for enforcing consequences for bad behaviour.

I disagree - it was degrading. You don’t know.

In my experince, heads hate apologising.... you could try something like "i know mistakes happen but I want the school to acknowledge that the way they treated my son left him feeling humiliated. I'd like assurance that he won't be humiliated again in this fashion."

You might have already done this in your paperwork but it's also worth mentioning that you know his behaviour was below what the school expects and you've made it clear to him that he needs to behave in accordance to school rules. You support the school in the fact that he deserved punishment but its the manner of the punishment that you object to.

Our school behaviour policy states the types of consequences children can expect for breaking rules. Missing a reward trip is a common one - have you checked the policy and if they complied with their own policy?