My son can't get an apprenticeship and is getting violent and moody

[WiseHiker]

My son is strugling to get an apprenticeship at 20 and his mental health is deteriorating

Firstly he is not a bad kid never touched drugs or drink. He was bullied alot in school as he is autistic and he claims because of his hight however despite this he got ok gcses (6s and 7s)

And tried alevels however dropped out because of further bullying and because he found the course uninteresting. He then spent around 2 years travelling to see his then girlfriend from Bournemouth

At 18 they broke up and he did a pt qualification at level 2, did boxing and got a part time job at a pub after alot of difficulty. However he quickly spiraled into an eating disorder and decided he can't continue down the gym Instructing route.

Since turning 19 he's been looking to get an apprenticeship in "anything not behind a desk that pays well" however has had no joy with the exception of an assessment centre .after being told he didn't get the job because his team lost after no one listened to him. he punched one of the people in his team outside the event out of frustration. I have since gotten him anger management and told him this is not acceptable.

He is now 20 still looking for one, he has started driving lessons to aid in this however he has become even more moody and withdrawn. He barely sees his friends as they are all working 9 to 5 and he works evenings and weekends. Compounding this I believe could be that his dad is terminally ill with hypertension of the heart.
Furthermore earlier this year he started seeing a new girl who within 3 month slept with one of his mates. Currently all he does is apply for jobs and work out for an unhealthy amount of time . I'm not sure how to help him.

He needs to see friends and start to enjoy life or the eating disorder will really take hold

I’m sorry it must be really hard for you all.

I’m sorry it must be really hard for you all.

Could he join the army or one of the other forces - learn a trade that way, companionship, discipline and travel. He sounds too disruptive to stay at home.

Can he contact recruitment agencies to help him?

He had cbt therapy, drove him to Warrington every week for it he was diagnosed with exercise bulimia and me and his ex thought he had body dismorphia saying he was fat constantly and he still does as he doesn't have abs

@WiseHiker Get him to go to the GP he clearly needs more intensive therapy and maybe dose increase as well. CBT will not cut it he needs much more intensive therapy e.g DBT, IFS,Somatic because his disordered eating is clearly quite severe if the feels he needs to compulsively exercise that much and to the point of collapse. I don't think army or any military would be a good idea considering his MH and might just further his obsession with physique.

My nephew struggled after uni - couldn't get a job in the area of his degree, so got a job at a fairly local large manufacturing plant. Then after a year, applied for an apprenticeship there, and got it. Apprenticeship will have taken 3 years and he will be 27 when it's finished, but he will be a qualified person in that area and unlikely ever to be out of work.

A quick Google for manufacturing plants near Widnes brings up a few options. I think he should keep an eye out for entry level jobs at those places (might involve shift work) and concentrate on getting his driving licence so that when one of those jobs comes up, he can get there easily. Then once he's been there a while, look for apprenticeships there.

We have contacted recruitment agencies however they mainly offer night shifts which seeing as we think doing them has damaged his father's health I don't want him doing it

To be honest, I’d look for outdoor physical jobs like scaffolding, tree surgery, fencing etc to give him a chance to see if he can master those. I think he’d struggle with a course at college for plumbing or electrics

He has an ncfe gym Instructing level 2 and an introductory level 3 but he has a way more knowledge on it reads the studies from universities and listens to Dr's on YouTube

Was he sacked from the job where violent?

were the police involved?

what’s he like around the home in terms of chores? Respect?

He's applying for anything but accounting or it he's told me

He needs to be doing any job he can right now. Including night shifts. He's young. Not the time to be obsessing over hypertension or predicting that he will be bullied.
And definitely not the time to be chasing girls.

Very respectful when he's here, does well at his job, police where never involved

He needs to make sure he tailors his applications based on the industry and the company. Sending out the same generic CV with so research on the individual companies, and the industry so (computing etc) will make him less likely to be selected. It's better to do 10 really specific applications than 100 which are the exact same.

He wasn't chasing her he actually really liked her his main problem in my opinion is he is obsessive, he made everything he did fit around her same with his ed. Even as a kid he was obsessed with transformers he would read the Wikipedia in school hours

Op your follow up posts are very different from your thread title and OP

He has been doing that helped him write cover letters

He's just moody and grumpy now plus he rants

But not at home?

Sounds like he is now obsessed with a vague and also specific idea of a job/apprenticeship. He has a job, he can just keep applying for different ones if he wants.

You've posted a lot of potentially identifying and sensitive information about him, you could ask MN to remove the town names you've mentioned.

Why doesn't he join a college for a course with practical work? Like heating, electrics, builder and so on? Then he can get the apprenticeship in that area.
But the most important thing is that he stops being violent, aggressive, too sharp..

That is the reason why he is not getting anything. No luck at work or love. His attitude to others sounds really bad.

At home but he's respectful but he just seems angry all the time and routinely throws a tizzy like he failed, his dad however being ill tells him to get on with it and that he is an adult and not "his problem"

OP, do you know any tradespeople. who might take him on as casual labour to begin with. Roofers, slaters, plasterers, landscape gardeners, decoraters. It sounds to me like he needs
I) a physical outlet for his frustration
II) to be learning something new
III) to be earning some money
IV) to have employment giving him a little self confidence and self worth.

Forget about the apprenticeship for the moment. Aim for works experience so he can try some things and see if he likes them. As a parent, can you talk to all your contacts, and relatives.

Which county are you based in?