How to check my child’s grades at a Uni?

[Snowflake55]

I am in despair as my son refuses to tell me if he is attending Uni at all, let alone to tell me how his grades are! I tried calling his Uni and all they say “it is confidential”. Do we parents have any rights in the UK to find out how our children are doing at a Uni? Thank you

I sympathise with the parents, honestly. They’re expected to be the loan guarantors for student housing when they have no idea whether their children are attending lectures and turning in essays or just using the house as a drug den. I think I’d be saying, if you want me to keep paying your maintenance for next term you need to show me some evidence of work for this term.

years ago but when my trio left home for uni, their student id and passwords stayed with me at home.
i would periodically check grades.
they are 40+ years old now so over 20 years ago. my love and support was not conditional but the money was. zero loans, their uni was fully funded by my/dh's financial input.
check out the current mn discussion regarding boarding schools...so many "i would never do that" yet magically at 18 so many on this thread are ready to drop kick them to the curb.

Are you saying that your children spontaneously suggested you had access to all their grades, @GildedRage ? Or that you made that a condition of you paying their university fees, and if they’d refused, you wouldn’t have paid them? And what would have happened if you didn’t think their grades were adequate?

They just left all that stuff at home at the communal family office desk and never changed their password. The whole application process was a group effort, applications, deposits, timetabling, choosing courses, applying for residence. Double checking transferable courses, reviewing the meal account, what top ups were necessary.
as for grades, passing is fine. But coming from a tiny village school failing meant taking upgrading courses and changing timelines etc. it was fully a family affair with lessons learned with ds1 helping dd and ds2.

I work with adults in a college. The short answer is legally we could do a welfare check for you if you asked us to, but we cannot feed back information to you without the student's permission. You have a right to ask them, they are adults, they have the right to keep the information from you if they want. Even if something was going badly wrong with their mental health, we couldn't just report to parents without permission.

If my DC did this, even if they were entitled to the full loan I'd refuse to sign the SFE income proving stuff

This! If I were paying for my child to go to uni, or even helping to support them going, I would 100% want to know they were going and not taking the p*ss

But are you going to take their word for it? Or ask to see proof of grades and attendance for each module?

If my child was being this disrespectful and not answering my questions, I would want to see evidence of their grades/ attendance. I accept I might not get that from the uni, but if my child refused to show me, I would remove all finance until they did. It’s fair enough when you are paying for their education to know they are attending and trying to put effort in. It’s a huge expense!

But if they say ‘Yes, mum, all first class honours’, do you ask for proof?

I was HoY for first year in my humanities department for years, and a fairly standard thing was students realising they’d chosen the wrong degree, or just not coping, or partying and not getting to classes because no one is making them, and not doing anything about it (ignoring welfare check emails and phone calls from tutors etc) till it’s too late and they realise they’re going to fail, having told their parents all along everything was fine.

What a stupid post honestly. Why would they give you your adult child’s grades? Of course it’s confidential.

It is different to school he is an adult.You cannot helicopter parent him and he deserves privacy.

It’s amazing the university’s treatment them as independent adults until it comes to student loans and then they are very much “your children” and their loans are based on parents income! How is that right when “they’re independent adults “?

Take it up with student loans/the government. The actual staff in universities don't even agree with the way student loans work, half of the time. Also - not every student in university has parents. There are mature students. This isn't an extension of school - Higher Education is for everyone.

It seems to really bother a lot of people, but again, I'll ask - would you expect access to your DC's smear tests or sexual health exams? Or any other medical records? They are adults, whether you like it or not.

The people saying they wouldn't pay if their DC refused to share their grades - that sounds like a set up for a future of reluctant DC feeling smothered. I can't imagine having my parents demanding my results at that age! I was a grown woman with a flat, a job, and a life of my own when I was in university. Not a 15 year old child with a parent breathing down my neck to complete my homework.

Wow! Wind your neck in, where did I say any of the crap your spouting? When did I say I wanted to access any records etc. or that I wouldn’t pay, I was simply saying it’s double standards but thank you for the ott reply!
go and have a nice lie down and consider the tone you reply to posts in!

That's ridiculous and unhelpful.
Adult child is a recognised term in law. You will always be your parents' child.

Or perhaps you could reread my post, and you might see that the second half of that post is directed towards people who say they won't pay.

However, if you think you're entitled to their academic records, why? I can only assume that's what you mean by these double standards. You're not entitled to their medical records, are you? Because they're adults.

Goodness me. Maybe it's someone else who needs a lie down. 😁

And if they refuse parents can be contacted anyway in the interests of the person who is seriously unwell. The duty of confidentiality is not an absolute duty, it can be overridden in the wider public interest or in the interest of the person involved. People worry about being sued for breach of confidence... for that to hapoen it has to be shown that the breach of confidence caused a harm of the type that is compensable at law. In situations where a student is seriously unwell it is more likely that failure to disclose concerns to parents will result in harm to the student than disclosing concerns, hence a welfare check properly carried out is an entirely reasonable request by a worried parent. Many posters seem to be focusing on the trsnsactional nature of parents being required to support their adult child throughout their student years. Parents are allowed to show concern for their adult children without being considered insufferable or stupid or overbearing...all used on this thread.

Student loans are administered by the government owned Student Loans Company, not universities.

once again, I ask, where did I say that I thought I or anyone else was entitled to anything? I was simply making the point that you can’t call someone an adult with one breath and a child with the other!

But no one is saying that. The universities aren't, either. It's the student loan companies that work that way, so that makes no sense. University policy (which OP and others, and you from what I can gather, are complaining about) is that academic records are private. Because students are adults.

FFS, I am not, nor have I ever said anything about records! Are you stupid or just deliberately obtuse? Go and play with someone else, I’m totally bored with you!

Yeah, and with the style of parenting you'll be using you'll be getting a useless layabout.Oh yeah I forgot you work at a university so you have all that padagogic training, along with the academic.

She was worried about her child, sometimes people say silly things when they are worried.We all know we've been told countless times we wouldm't be entitled to the information about the grades.
Thanks for your thoughtful response.