How to check my child’s grades at a Uni?

[Snowflake55]

I am in despair as my son refuses to tell me if he is attending Uni at all, let alone to tell me how his grades are! I tried calling his Uni and all they say “it is confidential”. Do we parents have any rights in the UK to find out how our children are doing at a Uni? Thank you

So you’re not in England (not sure of the rules in other areas of the UK), in which case the relationship with the uni might be different where you are.

In England, the contract is with the student, they’re an adult and are treated as such (with access to a bit more hand holding).

In terms of letting them starve / become homeless, they have the choice to work.

No, your adult child is paying for a service. The contract is between them and the university. You are giving that child the money to pay for the service. It could also have come from inherited wealth, a lottery win, a side business, grandparents, a kindly stranger, etc. etc.

To the university it is irrelevant where the money comes from. Their responsibility lies only with the adult student. This isn’t school and nobody is going to send your child home with a report and a pasta necklace at the end of term. If you paid your son’s bus fare to work it still wouldn’t entitle you to access his HR records.

Fair enough if you are paying, again though that's got absolutely nothing to do with the university. If your child will/won't tell you then it's their prerogative, not the university staff who are educating adults.

It is unusual to have no F2F lectures now, as students say they prefer them (whether they turn up is another issue).

Why would you think you have a right to this information about another adult? I understand it feels bad/weird though. I remember when my youngest had a little health problem at 18. She was telling me about it and as she was busy one day I rang the GP practice for test results for her. Of course I was told I couldn’t have them. I got it once it was brought to my attention, but both daughter and me were a bit taken aback, as we hadn’t thought it through and she still felt my my kid!

It sounds like this comes from a place of love but unfortunately there is not a lot you can do to check. You won't be able to check he is working once he gets a job. However you can explain to him you are worried and please can he be a bit more open since you worried about him. Or ask questions like what he's learned, how the work is going, has he made any friends, etc?

OP, please treat him like an adult, you might be surprised.

He's an adult so his attendance and grades are nothing to do with you

You could ask the uni or police to conduct a welfare check. But they may no give you all the details

This

She is worried about him. Calling her insufferable is pretty low.

Short of hiring a private detective to give you a report of what he does, you are left with a welfare check only really.

https://parents.actionforchildren.org.uk/school-life/school-behaviour-wellbeing/supporting-child-university/

You do not have a "child" at university, unless it's one of those geniuses we read about from time to time who passed their A levels at 12.

You find out when they are KICKED out or on graduation day with a FIRST CLASS!!!!

It's confidential, back off.

You don’t check his grades 😀. He’s a big boy now.

Are you for real?

Or, you and your proud family fly long haul to attend graduation day and only then find out that they were kicked out the previous year.

It has happened.

No, your child is an adult. Universities don’t give out confidential information on adults. We do ask students to voluntarily allow us to contact their parents if we have serious concerns about mental health.

I understand how worried you are. I think the main thing is to let him know you care and that you are only asking about his academic performance because you're wondering how the transition to independent, adult life is going. Reassure him that at the end of the day you don't care whether he is going to Uni or what grades he gets, only that he is healthy and happy. Let him know he can call you any time if he needs help. If he does disclose anything of concern, take a deep breath, stay calm and non-judgmental and let him know he is not on his own. Don't forget to get support for yourself if you need it.

I was able to look up a young relative's degree award. But this was only after she had graduated.
The results were somewhere on their website, tho it did take a lot of digging about.
I cannot see a way of determining someone's various module results while they are supposedly still at University. The annoying thing is that the student loans are based partly on parental income, and therefore it would seem logical that parents have a vested interest in that their DC woud be working and participating in their various course modules.

I teach in a university. Unfortunately no, if you rang me I'd have no right to tell you your son's marks, attendance record or any such. There's case law on this it would be real trouble.

That said. A thought or two:

• key deadlines are likely to be in the next few weeks, or an exam after the vacation. Now is a good time to ask him if he knows the dates of work due, a one liner on each piece, and to help him manage the lot.
• if you have asked again and again it's normal that he fobs you off. If you haven't and he's really evasive, you are right to pay attention!
• pay him a visit! If really he is uncommunicative and it looks like he is in trouble, go on a student safari in his natural environment.

Zero rights. As much rights as he has to ring up your workplace and ask for copies of your most recent annual reviews.

If you think he's seriously taking the mickey, pause the next payment.
DS 'Have you put the money in'
OP 'I might have, I might not have'

But unless I had serious concerns I doubt I'd take this route....but on the other hand caginess breeds suspicion.

On the fence here but good luck.