Parents’ WhatsApp Group vile comments

[MadeleineMummy]

i am a member of my year’s WhatsApp group and one of the parents has posted rather a vile comment about one of the teachers. The child got a bad mark and the parent said she looked at the homework and the questions were ambiguous and badly worded. She then had a rant at the (rather young) teacher and said that she told her daughter that the teacher was an idiot and to ignore her. I posted that this was not an appropriate thing to say and would undermine the discipline in the school. Then several other women started having a go at me also stating concerns with the teacher due to her harsh marking and strictness. They said the WhatsApp group was the place to discuss concerns about the teacher and if I did not like it, I could leave the group.

I think the comments are inappropriate but also find the group invaluable for school issues, last minute changes and information about trips etc. but I find a small group of women seem to have taken over the group to rant about one teacher and victimise her. My child says she is strict but likes her as she is a good teacher and she loves the subject.

I feel like telling the teacher or the school as I have taken screenshots of the conversations, the comments are pretty bad and includes stuff about her personal life along the lines of (“she obviously needs a good shag”, “She looks like a frump”, etc). Do you think it would create a bad feeling if I share this with her? I also don’t know what it would achieve if I broach this with the school but I think that undermining a teacher is the most appropriate use of the whatsApp parents group.

what should I do?

Whether it is bullying or not it is completely inappropriate for parents to carry on like that. And people wonder why there is a shortage of teachers.... The headteacher and the teacher will have to put time and energy on a group of people ( parents) who are old enough to know better.
Do fully grown adults have nothing better to do than complain about ( I am assuming) primary school homework ? It is mind boggling to me.
Children need to be resilient and to sometimes get bad marks- there will be lots more disappointments to come in life. Some teachers will also mark more harshly than others - again that will happen over and over.

What's app with the wrong crowd is a big ball ache. Just bail out OP and get the information you need about school from school.

Wow what kind of school is these and what sort of people are these parents? Remind me never to visit your hood. Disagreeing politely is fine but to ask OP to leave the group and to throw very low personal insults to the teacher... very unseemly. I'd report but OP shouldn't have to leave the group.

i NEED class groups for practical info since schools these days send about a 100 emails daily. Usually these women will form their own smaller friendship chat groups and whole class chats are very logistical in nature.

Ah - by contacting 'us' you meant us teachers rather than us parents...

I am not being aggressive, nor is it aggression simply because someone disagrees with you or - as in this case - needs to clarify a point.

This that you describe, is not the same situation at all - you say so yourself. In your situation someone was physically abusive and the case was taken to court. -I have highlighted that because that is a completely different situation.

So, to get back to what this thread is about, what possible benefit would it be to a parent to report what is said in a Whatsapp group to a headteacher and what possible action could that headteacher actually make?

I am a teacher. We have one of these kind of groups on Facebook. As some staff are also parents they tell the head about the nasty stuff that is posted. Well done for calling them out. Don't show the teacher as she will probably be upset. I would however recommend you email the head to let him know. They should be called out on it. If this group is public in the sense that anyone whose child is in this school or year group can join then it is the school's business. They should be told that their behaviour is out of line. The reason they are being nasty to you is because you have stood up to them. Stay strong. I would post a generic positive message saying that you are very happy with how your child is educated.

Report it to the Headteacher, providing screen shots. A communication from the school warning parents of the legal implications of sharing such personal and defamatory comments in writing should shut them up for a while. They will, of course, cyber bully you for it as a consequence, because they do not understand the difference between questioning something and character assassination.

It has everything to do with the school, the child’s Mother is telling her to ignore her teacher. It’s totally wrong. If there’s a problem with homework that needs addressing with the teacher - politely. I bet the mother would be the first to complain about poor discipline at the school but she’s doing her best to undermine the teacher.

Haffiana. The headteacher could tell them that they should not be making derogatory remarks about staff in a WhatsApp group that all parents can see. In many cases parents knowing that these remarks are seen by the school tends to make them reconsider as is usual with bullies.

This is why discipline is to shit in schools and they're a hellhole for any well-behaved children actually wanting some sort of an education.

Another person saying tell the head. If she's good she will speak to each parent individually and call them out on exactly what they said.

What do you think will happen if you report it to the HT? Do you think the HT will tell parents they can't have WhatsApp groups? The most the school would do is send an email reminding parents to try to behave appropriately on social media - but they can't impose anything. They have no control over parents (unless their behaviour is illegal - what you have described isn't illegal). All you will achieve is creating even more bad feeling between you and the other parents, possibly isolating your DCs for the time they are at the school - and the parents won't have changed their minds about the teacher or about you.

I guess you just have to weigh up how willing you are to stick your neck out for the teacher

There's nothing to gain by telling the school, the teacher will find out and likely be hurt and stressed.

Leave the group and see it for what it is, someone having a moan and it being blown out of all proportion because it's in writing. If you overheard someone in the playground calling someone an idiot would you really go and tell the Head? Some things are best left to fizzle out.

OP, there will be plenty of parents that agree with you, but by now they are too terrified to stick their heads above the parapet.

I wouldn't bother trying to reason with the WhatsApp pack any more. They have gone fully feral. Leave the group for your own sanity.

A class WhatsApp when my son was in Y6 took a similar vicious turn and I can understand how that happened if some parents can't act with any sort of decorum themselves.

Here’s the thing. If you report it, it’s very obvious it’s you. So you and your daughter will be a total outcast for the rest of your time at the school, like it or not. If you don’t mind that, go ahead.

I don’t know what I would do, tbh it would depend on wha had not been said by others? How many people aren’t involved at all?

I'm am ex primary deputy head.

Please do tell the head. They need to know this is happening. I've had to deal with similar situations and the parents concerned were called into a meeting to discuss their bullying behaviour and to make it clear this was not an acceptable way to address any issues they may have with the school.

Are you serious?

They walk among us. Christ.

That's awful So glad mine had left school by the time social media came in.

Why on earth do parents run a Whatsapp group for a school year? Surely it should be something the school 'own' and they invite parents who want to join and then can administer the group? Why is a parents run group giving out information about trips?

I would have already left the group; it sounds toxic.

As others have said, one for the head teacher really.
The whole thing is totally inappropriate.

Yes this, you'll make your dad a target. Just leave it.

I should say, we did not tell the member of staff involved. We spoke generally to the staff and explained that there had been a situation which had been dealt with.

Those parents did not step out of libe publicly again.

I should also say that the vast majority of parents who post nasty stuff in these groups are usually the parents of the children who are the worst behaved. They complain constantly about everything and then come into school asking for help when their child is being awful at home. The kids also fall out because their parents have rows with each other on social media. They are generally poor at parenting also. I am always bemused as to why they don't change their child's school. There are other options in our town but oddly enough they either don't dislike it THAT much or can't be bothered.

Tell the Head, she might give all the parents involved a detention. 🙄

Definitely email the Head with screenshots.

The parents who post such comments can be sued for defamation of character for starters plus there's new laws around malicious communications to cover bullying over social media.

Sounds like some of the parents are a bit thick if they haven't figured out by now that anything you post online on social media is the equivalent of taking out a full page Ad in the local newspaper.

Yeah because that’s totally the same thing🙄 My 15yo dd has just done work experience in a primary school, and what was said in that staff room about some of the kids and the parents was far worse

I really hope that you explained confidentiality to your 15 year old? Who doesn't bitch about clients/patients/students/customers/colleagues in the work place? Thing is, the written word is always there, unlike casual conversations which are quickly forgotten. And to make it personal, commenting on her (lack of) sex life or appearance is absolutely not on, Ad hominem attacks are a whole new level.

Who is the admin of the group? Technically they are liable as much as the people who said libellous things about the teacher.

They need to switch off the chat for a while and delete the offending messages.

The best thing you can do is make others are that WhatsApp is as public a place as any and subject to laws.

This