Parents’ WhatsApp Group vile comments

[MadeleineMummy]

i am a member of my year’s WhatsApp group and one of the parents has posted rather a vile comment about one of the teachers. The child got a bad mark and the parent said she looked at the homework and the questions were ambiguous and badly worded. She then had a rant at the (rather young) teacher and said that she told her daughter that the teacher was an idiot and to ignore her. I posted that this was not an appropriate thing to say and would undermine the discipline in the school. Then several other women started having a go at me also stating concerns with the teacher due to her harsh marking and strictness. They said the WhatsApp group was the place to discuss concerns about the teacher and if I did not like it, I could leave the group.

I think the comments are inappropriate but also find the group invaluable for school issues, last minute changes and information about trips etc. but I find a small group of women seem to have taken over the group to rant about one teacher and victimise her. My child says she is strict but likes her as she is a good teacher and she loves the subject.

I feel like telling the teacher or the school as I have taken screenshots of the conversations, the comments are pretty bad and includes stuff about her personal life along the lines of (“she obviously needs a good shag”, “She looks like a frump”, etc). Do you think it would create a bad feeling if I share this with her? I also don’t know what it would achieve if I broach this with the school but I think that undermining a teacher is the most appropriate use of the whatsApp parents group.

what should I do?

Two MNetters here with no moral courage or personal integrity.

Tell the Head, send the evidence. The parents will be dealt with and at the very least will be known by the school for the pile of shit they are- their poor kids, being brought up by parents like that.

I'd just write that I agree that the group is a place to discuss concerns (although with the school would be ideal) however there is a difference between airing concerns and personally attacking and slagging the teacher off using vile language. I'd also speak to the school.

I always tell my kids not to say something in a whatsapp group about someone that they would not be prepared to say to their face. I think these parents need to be told this as well

Indeed - I always told my son not to post anything on social media that he would not want his grandmother to see. Or that he would not post on a public notice board in a corridor in school/work etc.

Schools will put posts on newsletters if they know teachers are being bitched about on social media. Raising concerns is one thing, bitching is like being in primary school again, but then a lot of parents do behave that way.

Definitely report to Head. Exact think happened with our year group.

Do these parents realise they could be in serious trouble for this? For one thing, this could be construed as harassment and defamation. They need telling in no uncertain terms to keep their vile comments to themselves.

It seems you are part of the problem… to the poster who was rude and told the OP to stay out of it. Meant to quote 🤦‍♀️

Saying such things in a public forum is inappropriate.

Passing on such things is also inappropriate.

You have stated your objections, good for you. Now leave it.

These groups are private groups owned by private individuals. The school have no jurisdiction over them. I have seen sneaking about the content of such groups and a head teacher going absolutely off the wall about the issue, making a huge fuss over a difference of opinion. The only time the school has any way over them is if they endorse them or promote them.

It takes two to hurt you, an enemy to slander you and a friend to bring the news to you.

While this is vile - the school does not have any say over a whatsapp group.
Who set the group up? Is there one admin or many admins? I would complain to the admin and then leave it. I am the sole admin for our whatsapp group and I would be sending a post reminding people that the group is for school admin only not personal opinions on teachers etc.

Not impressed with the people on here saying to leave it in case the parents turn on the OP or the daughter is ostracised by their kids. I'm pretty sure the OP and her daughter have better taste in friends anyway.

I’ve done it before. You phone and speak to them 1:1. You find they seem to lose their voice when confronted with it directly. It’s not on and needs to be challenged.

These kind of bullying tears are the reason why it is so hard to get staff these days. They are up in arms about everything and then are miffed when their kid has no teacher.

I think parent’s misbehaviour should have consequences. I think school should be able to offered formal warnings and have sanctions for parents who can’t stop themselves from behaving like dicks about teachers online.

What’s app groups are not necessary to know what is going on in the school. The school office send the information out or there is the school calendar, parent mail etc….. I have put 3 kids through school without using one. Just leave the group, they a breeding ground for the school gate mafia.

IANAL but I've had some libel training and I doubt the parents could be sued over this. Yes, posting something on a WhatsApp group seems to be considered as "publishing" by the courts, since it is disseminating information that could affect a person's reputation. But in order to bring an action against a WhatsApp poster for defamation, you would have to prove that what they wrote caused you "serious harm" - for instance, caused you to lose your job. In this case, if what the parents wrote was along the lines of the teacher being rubbish and dressing frumpily, it's unlikely their posts would meet that threshold.

Hi I’m a teacher here. From that point of view please ask for a meeting with the headteacher and share the screenshots and names of the people writing the disgusting slanderous comments. For your own sanity I would leave the whatsapp group…I was in ones for my girls for very short periods before leaving!
If you can, make a very small group with women you trust so they can keep you up to date with things. Though to be fair you don’t really need this as school should send texts. In my experience parent whatsapp groups are made for nasty parents who I can categorically tell you have raised children with questionable behaviour. It is such a shame as in my experience as a teacher most parents have been lovely and supportive 👍

Definitely don’t tell the school or the teacher! Just write a polite and firm message in the group requesting That the group be restricted to practical information and exchanges or general concerns with the schools, and that concerns about individual teachers can be discussed offline or in smaller groups.

I feel sorry for teachers nowadays in the days of social media. Someone’s angel of a child doesn’t get what the parents wanted so they resort to slagging off and saying inappropriate things behind the schools back.

Maybe if this mother in particular in such an expert, she should put her skills to good use and be a teacher herself?

Thought not…

also for the people saying what’s app groups are for nasty parents, we have one for both my kids (reception and year 3) and both are super useful and positive, just used for w hanging practical information on trips or homework, birthday invites and suggestions for group activities , like letting people know you’d be going to so and so kids activity if anyone wants to join. A few times someone has raised general issues with the class and school, but always in a constructive tone, and never has a staff member been mentioned by name.

Also this group sounds like it’s become a bit toxic.
Could you perhaps form another group with with more like minded parents, even if it’s just a few of you ?

This happened in my dc primary school WhatsApp group. Nowhere near as vile as OP is reporting, but parents complaint amongst themselves about a teacher. The headteacher was told and an email as sent to everyone saying that it was not acceptable and if it didn’t stop they would take action. The group admin immediately said if they saw one more inappropriate post they would close the group.

I know of a school where this was going on, again about a young teacher and some really disgusting remarks were made. A parent informed the headteacher and then legal letters were sent to all parents saying comments like this put parents at risk of being sued for defamation. The comments stopped.

Someone did let the teacher know and she was utterly devastated and left the job soon after. I think she is no longer teaching which is a shame as she seemed so keen, but not being qualified long she was a little rough around the edges. Given time she probably would have been excellent.

What would telling the headteacher achieve? Nasty people will always be nasty. Do you think they will change the minute the head has a word with them?

No they wouldn’t stop between themselves but they’d have to as otherwise they could be done for defamation of character

So would ours.
No way would we accept pack mentality like this. The personal comments are disgusting, that poor teacher .

What you've said is rather a sweeping statement that's not wholly correct. "Caused harm" - could be construed as causing damage to somebody's mental health, which could easily be a result of vile comments being posted on a public forum (and at least one of the comments sounds pretty vile). Contrary to what some people might believe, you cannot name names and say (or write) just anything that might be seriously detrimental to that person unless there is irrefutable evidence or it is a true statement of fact.

This is wise advice, OP. I would absolutely second it.

It will do neither you nor anyone else any favours to inflame this further. Step back and allow it to deescalate.