Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Education

Join the discussion on our Education forum.

Original poster

Music practice - if your kids do it, how do you get them to do it, if they don't, why don't you make them?

157 replies

tortoiseSHELL · 28/09/2007 20:09

As a piano teacher I am CONSTANLY amazed at the money parents pay for piano lessons, and then don't make their children practise - thus wasting the money imo! Can't think why this is. I always thought it must be impossible to actually get them to practise, but now ds1 is doing violin and piano, I realise it isn't, you just make them do it.

So - if your children learn instruments, how much practice do you insist that they do each day, what is your method of achieving this, and if they don't practise, why don't you make them? And do you mind wasting all that money on lessons?

Thank you! This is to help me as a piano teacher, not as a parent, as atm ds1 does his practice with no problem, I need schemes for my pupils' parents! I have suggested sticker charts, rewards charts, having a set time each day, doing 5 mins 3 times a day, doing 15mins in one go...am out of ideas!

OP posts:
foxinsocks · 29/09/2007 19:58

lol oxo .

TMD, things are OK at the moment. Bit mad but I guess that's not unusual! Did you sort out childcare in the end?

Original poster
tortoiseSHELL · 29/09/2007 20:02

Yes it is incredibly frustrating as a teacher! Some of my pupils are just lovely, practise every day, and their lessons are great fun! But for some I just seem to have tried every way I know of motivating them. I've suggested doing it before school and been met with 'But I always have my breakfast and watch an hour of tv before school' - I mildly suggest they could do 15 mins piano first, but that is obviously not considered an option by the child or the parents!

OP posts:
toomanydaves · 29/09/2007 20:05

{Yes, sort of, thanks Foxy. Still negotiating absence of dp though.}

SueW · 29/09/2007 20:07

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at OP's request.

FrannyandZooey · 29/09/2007 20:17

Tortoiseshell is it your job to motivate the ones who are just not interested, though?

I am not convinced every child can learn to love playing an instrument - no matter how much their parents would like it. Can't you just write some of them off mentally and just do the best you can with them during the lessons?

Tamum yes I have used rewards myself to get ds over humps (good choice of word!) and I do agree with you. I think if it is longer than a brief 'hump' then everybody's efforts would be better concentrated doing something else.

Original poster
tortoiseSHELL · 29/09/2007 20:20

I know what you mean Franny, but I do feel bad if I can't motivate them a bit. I know it ultimately has to come from them though. Also, if they even did a BIT of practice it would make the lessons less interminable for me...!

OP posts:
FrannyandZooey · 29/09/2007 20:24

Yes it does sound dire

sorry I have been no help at all but the subject did interest me!

Tamum · 29/09/2007 20:26

It is interesting, isn't it (well, for us at least since we are not having to deal with it day in and day out). I do agree about rewards in the long term, Franny. I do always find that ds and dd both practice for longer and with more enthusiasm if a parent is there, or listening in intermittently at least.

RosaLuxembourg · 29/09/2007 20:29

We could never do practice before school. DD takes so long faffing around with her stuff that a half-hour practice usually takes about an hour to complete.

oxocube · 29/09/2007 20:30

Tortoise, I'm kind of with Franny on this one in as much as it is not your job to make your students practise. You can only do so much as a teacher (and I'm also talking from my experience as a teacher of 4 and 5 year olds) Dd's piano teacher is very special I feel - she is quite 'old school' in that she states quite clearly what she expects and has a home/lesson book in which she writes the pieces the student must practise, any problems etc. She also rings the parents if she feels her pupils are not putting in enough effort. She seems to have found that fine balance between a teacher they really respect and look up to and someone they love and really want to please.

She is also my piano teacher and I stress out completely at the thought of 'disappointing her'

FrannyandZooey · 29/09/2007 20:33

I don't think music is meant to be a solitary activity, though, quite the opposite IMO

someone earlier mentioned their interest growing when they realised they could play in a band

my first thoughts on how to motivate young children to practise would be to get them playing with other children or adults - it is fun and how music is meant to be - not sterile practice in a room by yourself

I believe in cultures where music is an integral part of life such as the Romany people, they don't practice or have lessons, you just get given an instrument as soon as you can hold it and are expected to join in as best you can, with more experienced musicians covering up for the mistakes of the learners

can't you stick them all in a room together and let them get on with it tortoiseshell?

Tamum · 29/09/2007 20:39

I agree about the group thing, but there's a limit to how much you can apply it to practising, I would have thought. Ds had group violin lessons to start with and it was fine for the first year and then they really started to develop at different rates and it ended up being pretty frustrating all round. Dd does cello in a small group and it's fine so far but again I assume they will end up needing private lessons.

FrannyandZooey · 29/09/2007 20:40

Yes I don't know how it can apply in realy life

nice idea though isn't it?

Tamum · 29/09/2007 20:42

It is, very, and ds certainly gets a lot out of being in an orchestra

pointydog · 29/09/2007 20:44

I think it does help, franny, if other people play too and suggest some songs and that you play some songs you already know and not just teh classical tunes that you've never heard before (well, depending on the family's musical tastes, I suppose).

The dds like playing often because dh plays with them, will accompany them, will play a cd of a song they know and then they work it out together.

yes, I think you're right. Playing with others can be key.

So, tortoise, you need to get the parenst to play!

FrannyandZooey · 29/09/2007 20:45

LOL yes and give them sticker charts until they co-operate with this scheme

Tamum · 29/09/2007 20:47

I think parents do have to learn with the child if they are doing Suzuki method, don't they?

Original poster
tortoiseSHELL · 29/09/2007 20:47

Oh I couldn't agree more about music being social - that is the reason I started ds1 on violin when he had just turned 5 - he has just started going to a string orchestra (he's 6 now) and it is definitely a SOCIAL thing. Piano is much harder that way, it obviously can be social, but there isn't the infrastructure for 'chamber groups'.

I do make sure they have notebooks, and always write down exactly what to practise, and have written out charts etc.

I think the bottom line is that if the parents don't make the children practise then they won't - they don't get into the habit or routine of it, and it is too easy to 'forget'.

One other thing I am going to try is to have a 'pupils' afternoon one Sunday afternoon, get them all to play a piece then have cake! Maybe it will motivate the ones who aren't so hot on practising!

OP posts:
Original poster
tortoiseSHELL · 29/09/2007 20:48

pointydog - the ones I have most trouble with are the ones where the parents are musicians bizarrely!

OP posts:
KerryMum · 29/09/2007 20:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pointydog · 29/09/2007 20:51

I wonder if the musician parents are too pushy then. Trying to push their passion onto their children and ignoring the fact their child wants to go fishing or do karate or whetever.

pointydog · 29/09/2007 20:51

I do think parental pushiness and over-seriousness can be a big turn-off.

Original poster
tortoiseSHELL · 29/09/2007 21:10

I agree!

OP posts:
Hallgerda · 29/09/2007 21:20

All 3 of mine are now learning the piano. I do insist they practise (around 20 mins-ish a day, slightly more for DS1 and slightly less for DS3) and they are well motivated, but DS1 (13) is rather pressed for time with homework and other activities. I don't use gimmicks like star charts, just plain ordinary nagging . I do sometimes get some stick from the teacher about DS1, generally after he actually has put in the time but it hasn't gone too well that week.

BeetrootMNRoyalty · 30/09/2007 12:45

I don't agree that awards don't help.

practising when young 6/7/8 ish can be boring and you don't see the progression.

It has made a huge huge difference to my kids. Three of htem are pretty talented and doing very well. THEY had ot practice to get there BUT they also loved paying with their mates.

10 per paractice helped - this was their pocket moeny