Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Education

Join the discussion on our Education forum.

Original poster

Help-angry with reception teacher

173 replies

angrymum · 18/09/2004 22:12

My ds started school this week.He is 4.5. Today I was talking to him about school and what he had been doing,and he got really upset and said that his name had been put on the " sad sun" whatever that is,because he had gone to the toilet without asking. He couldn't tell me any more details but I am SO angry I feel like I am going to explode.
As I said this is his first week, he has come from a nursery where they just went to the toilet when they wanted to-and I had explained that school was different and that he would have to ask-and more's to the point he hasn't found toilet training the easiest of things to conquer and I'm just relieved that he went to the loo instead of wetting himself.I can't believe he's been punished for this with some sort of public humiliation.
I feel I need to talk to the teacher about this, but not sure how to go about it.My initial reaction to her has been that I don't like her.She is very young and has just finished her newly qualified teacher year, and when I tried to talk to her earlier in the week, in a kind of " has ds been ok?" kind of way she just said, " yes, there's a parents evening next week " in a kind of dismissive, don't bother me way.I don't know whether to try and talk to her on monday or wait till thursday for parents evening.I feel like crying .
Any teachers out there that can advise me? Or more experienced mums? Wouldn't a gentle reminder have been enough??????

OP posts:
jampot · 21/09/2004 14:14

Presumably every school has different policies and rules. This whole thing is just getting so heated. We ALL do a good job in whatever we do and probably ALL receive very little praise/ appreciation for it. My kids aren't grateful every time I prepare their breakfast, my boss wasn't grateful when I found a document on the internet his assistant should have found which could go towards helping him win him a trial today; my dh isn't grateful every time I give him a blow job or iron his shirts.

On the other hand I take it for granted that my children will learn something at school today; that they will be supervised whilst eating their lunch; that when I shout at them they will still love me; and that when I come on MN I will find intelligent, amusing and warm people to chat to.

WE CAN ALL BE GUILTY OF TAKING OTHERS FOR GRANTED AND NOT BEING GRATEFUL. everybody should be appreciated more

codswallop · 21/09/2004 14:15

jammy bjs?

jampot · 21/09/2004 14:16

yes coddy - thats the face

codswallop · 21/09/2004 14:16

oh no now we reay will hav t to chang ethe icons!

jampot · 21/09/2004 14:17
Grin
twogorgeousboys · 21/09/2004 14:18

Perhaps my experiences are different to other teachers, but 30+ children would come in in a fairly concentrated 5 minute period in the morning.

I have not said on this thread that I disagree with angrymum raising concerns. I did suggest she should try to do it at the end of the teaching day, when the teacher is no longer responsible for a large number of other children.

I sympathised with angrymum's situation and have said so.

I still disagree with the teaching/accountancy etc analogy.

While you are "having a word" with a parent about their child first thing in the morning, you are still trying to supervise/keep an eye on 29+ other children. A colleague of mine was trying to be accommodating to a parent in this way one morning. Unfortunately, because she was being distracted and unable to settle the class in her usual way, a child (with special needs) who she usually kept extremely close to her, managed to partially drive a pencil in to the back of another child's hand.

Slinky · 21/09/2004 14:23

I can't get into our Reception class in the morning as it's so crowded - even DD2 has a job getting in. Usually I sort of push DD2 through the door, passing loud comments!, and then wave at DD2 through the window.

twogorgeousboys · 21/09/2004 14:30

Slinky, this is what I've been doing at ds1's nursery for the past week, shouting "BYE (DS1's NAME)" very loudly, hoping the teacher will hear. Yesterday, I promptly fell over 3 buggies parked at the nursery door and think I may have had my knickers on show . Luckily managed to hold onto ds2 and he sort of fell on top of me!

PicadillyCircus · 21/09/2004 14:32

Having been a teacher and now an accountant, I would also disagree with the teaching/accoutant analogy.

Yes, clients can feel that they should come first all the time, but they generally do have the common sense to realise that things can't always go their own way. They also do not start tormenting each other, refusing to do any work (although there are some who try their best) and you do not have to supervise them getting changed after PE. In fact you don't have to teach them at all.

Anyone guess hy I changed to accountancy?

jimmychoos · 21/09/2004 14:38

Starting school is a huge change and rite of passage, both for parent and child. I think it's really unfair that some people here have trivialised Angrymum's concerns. It is vital that children in reception are comfortable with their environment and that they know that their basic needs willl be met - toilet, food, drink etc - it's only then that the child will be able to learn. I have several friends who are reception teachers and all believe they more than most teachers should be prepared for the interaction with parents in the first few weeks of school. Of course parents should be considerate and realise that teachers have other children to deal with but I am shocked at the attitude of some people on here. I am very pro-teacher by the way, my DP is one but I think he would be horrified at some of the over-defensive comments on here.

Slinky · 21/09/2004 14:40

LOL 2GBs

Hope you had clean "undies" on

I don't why they have to crowd so much - I completely understand if the child is crying, you want to go in/settle them etc but no-one cries in DD2s class as they go in.

Still, only have to put up with it for another 4 weeks - after half-term, a letter will come out "politely" asking them to encourage your child to come in alone - then hopefully DD2 won't have stand there for 5 minutes waiting to get in the room.

Slinky · 21/09/2004 14:46

I think KS hit the nail on the end - 4 is far too young for formal schooling and most are still practising to perform the more "practical" stuff - getting dressed/toilets etc. Fortunately, mine are all September intakes and turn/turned 5 in the weeks after - so are near the eldest of the year group.

I remember the day I started school - none of the parents stepped foot in the school grounds. I remember the teacher meeting children/parents at the main gate, children were expected to say good-bye at the gate and then the teacher led the class to the classroom.

This happened for both my Infant and then Primary schools.

twogorgeousboys · 21/09/2004 14:51

TOTALLY agree with you slinky, it is too young.

ks · 21/09/2004 14:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Hulababy · 21/09/2004 15:20

Dh is a solicitor. I know for a fact that he does not have to answer to his clients in such an immediate manner as you fdo in teaching at all. And his clients are paying!

soapbox · 21/09/2004 15:21

PicadillyCircus - you must have all teh good client's then Suffice to say that there was no way that I felt I could combine a client facing role with motherhood - I was never able to have a minutes peace to enjoy the children. I'm now in a rather boring desk job role - ahh the compromises we make!!!

I'm not saying accountancy and teaching are the same, I'm saying that there are similarities between teaching and all of the professions. They are all typically people facing and that brings stresses and strains with it.

Yes, we should understand where the pressures come from, but what I was trying to say was that communication between both professional and recipient is the best way forward for all.

Socci · 21/09/2004 15:21

Message withdrawn

soapbox · 21/09/2004 15:21

Hulababy - we all pay too

pixiefish · 21/09/2004 15:33

As part of my PGCE (teacher training) course I had to do a week in primary- that is the only experience I have apart for a few days in with the juniors when we do primary /secondary links with year 5 and 6.
From my limited experience I think that if our babies aren't properly toilet trainer(or only just) then they SHOULD NOT be in school- this is NOT a criticism of individual parents but of the education system.
WHY on earth do we send our babies to school at FOUR years old- and some only just four if they were born in the August whilst others will be nearly 5 (if they were born in the September eg).
A lot of countries wait until children are older- in the states for example children are I think a year older. We're barmy in this country

pixiefish · 21/09/2004 15:34

I mean trained not trainer

edam · 21/09/2004 15:40

2GB, your post rang bells as someone put a pencil through the back of my hand on my second day of infant school. And there were no special needs/parent distracting teacher factors involved, sometimes accidents like that just happen when you have a lot of small children who like to run around.

ks · 21/09/2004 15:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

pixiefish · 21/09/2004 15:44

What about private schools? Can we send them later there? Not that this is an option for me but just out of interest. Dd willbe 4 1/2 when she starts BUT my friends dd has just started now a week after her 4th birthday- horrid

tamum · 21/09/2004 15:47

You could move to Scotland Not very practical I know, but it's a much better system. Children start between 4 years 6 months and 5 years 6 months. If they are under 5 on the day they are due to start school they can be kept back for a whole year if parents wish, with no pressure. It must make the teachers' lives easier too.

Socci · 21/09/2004 15:47

Message withdrawn