Feel like I have to justify why we are sending DD to private school.

[yummymummy06]

Hi. Well we made the decision to send our DD to private school in september. Just spoke to my friend about it and she made me feel really bad and was questioning me. She said 'it wont make her clever' which I know it wont but I explained she will have alot more oportunities to do extra activities and be pushed that bit more further in school. Plus she was saying about all the extras, lunch, milk uniform etc is alot on top. Yes I will be driving 25 minutes there, 4 trips a day but that is the decision we have made as we are not happy with the local school. Does anyone else feel like they have to justify themselves about sending their children to private school? I didn't really know what to say to her.

Get used to it.
Many judge you on where you send your children to school.
I often get "So the local school isn't good enough for you then?".

Well it IS controversial

You have to expect a bit of questionning I think, especially if they feel it's because you are saying you are not happy with the schooling that they are giving their children

YM06 she is your child and it is up to you where you want her educated, I also prefer private schooling as I feel the education system is much to be desired these days. Dont let her make you feel like this she is probably jelous she cannot afford it herself.

Be confident and at ease with your descision.

The only concern I would have would be the sheer distance the school is from your home to be honest. Have you tried out the journey during peak hours yet? You may find that on a bad day it could be more like 40 minutes plus. The more miles you travel during peak hours the more likely you are to encounter a hold up. I used to commute my dd`s 40 minutes each way for 6 months, (18 miles each way) but on a bad day it would be up to an hour each way

Hi yes I truly believe that people expect you to justify your decision. We have decided after two years of deliberating to send our two dS's privately in September. We live in a village and boy do you need to justify yourself here. I am fed up with small minded people telling me that I am harming my children by sending them away from the community where they will have no friends anymore locally. I have since decided to only tell the people who I know will act positively with the decision we are making and have not told the negative ones. I think how you choose to educate your children is such a personal choice and does not suit everyone.

to be honest i only told my father that my DD was at private school after she had been there for abot 2.5 years. None of my brothers know mainly because i do not think i should justify how i spend my money to anyone but myself. Basically tell her that it is the choice you and your HUSBAND have made . Emphasise the word Husband and she will probably get the picture that its really none of her business.

mt children go to the state school in our village.its what my husband and i feel is best for our children, and although sending them to private school isnt something i would feel comfortable with i think everyone has to do what right for their children. if thats the decision you have made you shouldnt have to justify it to anyone.

I think it's jealousy if people question you. I would certainly consider sending our kids as day boarders but can't afford to so it's not an option but would never question someone else's decision to. They obviously don't have anything more interesting to chat about!

littlelapin in some quarters it is a controversial thing to do. some of my dh friends are very vocal socialists and see it as some sort of terrible crime (i have noticed that most of these people dont actually have children or live in area with good state schools)

I know loads of socialists who send their children to private school

Thanks for your advice. Distance is not a problem, with have been over this alot and have decided it's fine for us.

I guess people are jelous! I feel like I am avoiding the situation by not telling people the school is private.

I know myself she will have alot more opportunities eg, learning french from age 5, german and latin later on! I am not concerned she wont know anyone in our village, she goes to the local preschool at the mo so we will keep in contact with a few of her friends from there and I wont stop her doing any clubs here if she wants to. We also have alot of friends outside the village as I don't like to mix too much around here.

Thanks for your advice everyone, just feeling abit anxious about her starting school and not knowing anyone but she will meet new people, it's ggod for them!

actually you don't have to justify yourself

but I'll hazard a guess the people who make you feel uncomfortable when you announce this probably have children the same age / or similar in the state sector

so when you talk about more opportunities and pushed further .. you're inferring their children have less opportunities and no-one will care about pushing them

it is difficult to make a decision for your children and announce it to others without them feeling judged

might not be fair .. but that's where it comes from

and actually in many state schools there are quite a lot of opportunities .. by year 1 DS has played in Hamlet at the Globe theatre, he's had contemporary dance training, gymnastics, french, music .. but that kind of sounds like gloating doesn't it? see? I'm commenting on my child but its easy to take it personally

actually you don't have to justify yourself

but I'll hazard a guess the people who make you feel uncomfortable when you announce this probably have children the same age / or similar in the state sector

so when you talk about more opportunities and pushed further .. you're implying their children have less opportunities and no-one will care about pushing them

it is difficult to make a decision for your children and announce it to others without them feeling judged

might not be fair .. but that's where it comes from

and actually in many state schools there are quite a lot of opportunities .. by year 1 DS has played in Hamlet at the Globe theatre, he's had contemporary dance training, gymnastics, french, music .. but that kind of sounds like gloating doesn't it? see? I'm commenting on my child but its easy to take it personally

actually you don't have to justify yourself

but I'll hazard a guess the people who make you feel uncomfortable when you announce this probably have children the same age / or similar in the state sector

so when you talk about more opportunities and pushed further .. you're implying their children have less opportunities and no-one will care about pushing them

it is difficult to make a decision for your children and announce it to others without them feeling judged

might not be fair .. but that's where it comes from

and actually in many state schools there are quite a lot of opportunities .. by year 1 DS has played in Hamlet at the Globe theatre, he's had contemporary dance training, gymnastics, french, music .. but that kind of sounds like gloating doesn't it? see? I'm commenting on my child but its easy to take it personally

Cammelia - yes, I have found that it is OK for Gucci Socialists to send their children private...

so good she said it thrice

being a socialist and sending your children to private school is a contradiction in terms isnt it?

Doesn't seem to stop them though

not great .. but growing and improving

and having parents supporting it and doing our utmost to improve it and help the staff has been instrumental in helping to turn it round from special measures (where it was lying a mere 5 years ago) into one who's SATS beat the neighbourhood 'good' school

some of the stuff we pay for ie french .. some of the stuff is part of curriculum .. shakespeare .. some of the stuff is free but extra-curricular

I think you only feel you have to justify yourself if you're vaguely uncomfortable with your decision.

If you've thought out the reasons you're doing it, the pros and cons, the political/ economic / social context in which you're doing it, blah di blah di blah, then you've no reason to feel you have have to justify yourself. You might feel the urge to explain it, but not justify - once you're completely certain that this is the decision you're making for better or worse, you no longer feel like you need to justify yourself to anyone.