Feel like I have to justify why we are sending DD to private school.

[yummymummy06]

Hi. Well we made the decision to send our DD to private school in september. Just spoke to my friend about it and she made me feel really bad and was questioning me. She said 'it wont make her clever' which I know it wont but I explained she will have alot more oportunities to do extra activities and be pushed that bit more further in school. Plus she was saying about all the extras, lunch, milk uniform etc is alot on top. Yes I will be driving 25 minutes there, 4 trips a day but that is the decision we have made as we are not happy with the local school. Does anyone else feel like they have to justify themselves about sending their children to private school? I didn't really know what to say to her.

or you coudl say my kid is clever enough fo me not to have to pay for him to be educated

thatll go down well

"Why would I spend that kind of money to get my children into a school where 70% of the children get 5 A-Cs at GCSE when, for a similar amount of money, I can send them to a private school where 99% of the children get 5 A-Cs? As far as I can see I have to pay for my children's schooling - either through a mortgage or through fees - in which case I prefer to buy the better results."

Have you thought of looking at how a child like your child does in both schools? With state school results like that, I'm thinking a child who could get into the private school would be one of the 70% at the state school as well.

The 99% doesn't represent one child's results. You are not necessarily buying better results for your child.

But again, BBS, there is the question of the gap between a C and an A, which is considerable. The state school will almost certainly divulge its figures for A and A results, whereas most private schools have grade-by-grade breakdown of theirs.

oh god i hate education obsessives

will not divulge... hmm hmm. must proofred better, must proofread better, ...

Some of us not only use it for our children, also work in it, Pedro.

It is somewhat disingenuous for anyone to pretend that exam results are the only reason for private ed. People generally are buying the whole package, I know that I am.

I was merely responding to the comment I quoted.

I find people are too focused on the numbers themselves without thinking what this means for their child.

And if you have the A/A and A-C breakdown, then all you're missing is the Bs and Cs...

Ah yes, you were. Sorry.

The only measure I'd ever be interested in is the % with A and A* actually. It's what we all go by. A c is virtually a fail surely.

LOL Xenia. Do you work for OFSTED - where satisfactory is anything but?

And do you know, there are children who will never get an A*, no matter how good the school, no matter how 'dumbed down' the GCSE. And they have parents. Who are presumably interested in the lower reaches of the grading system...

Am I right in thinking the schools with the highest % of A grades are highly selective?

Of course they are

If private school threads wind you up then why are you posting here?

lol

Xenia, do your children ever get C's? Do you tell them they've virtually failed?

CF, yes of course they are highly selective.
Take NLCS where one daughter went - www.nlcs.org.uk/ set up by Miss Buss and Miss Beale in the 1800s as one of the first schools to give girls a proper academdic education. Sometimes recently had the best A levels of any UK school of any kind male or female boarding state or day. "96.9% attained A - A grades. The A grades were the highest ever (79.5%), and that statistic placed North London Collegiate top in national league tables based on the percentage of A* grades."

Just as state grammars are selective and just as non selective state schools in posh areas with pushy middle class parents do better than schools on sink estates. It's just how the world is.

When looking at a school I take into account far more than than accademic results. Happy, confident chldren, sporting achievements, aproachable staff, pleasant grounds are all important to me. Over all I consider how happy my child would be in the school, but maybe I'm not a pushy parent.

Having made the decision to send our DS to a private school I have encountered the same prejudice, and alarmingly from those mums who I thought would know that my decision would have been a well thought out one based on the happiness of my child. My DS's best friend's mum (a teacher) said: children at private school are not as clever but they get pushed through because of greater parental support. My answer was to question the logic of why the spread of IQ's would be any different? Surely in every classroom in the country you will find some clever children and some less clever children. I thought it was an outrageous thing to say, I didn't say anything at the time but needless to say am now counting down the days to not having to spend time with toxic mums like these!

I went to a comprehensive school & had to travel for 30-40 mins to get there (was only 6 miles, but the bus route wasn't direct & it was slow up the hills!) so plenty of people travel to school.

The friend may just be jealous. I suppose she may be worried that you haven't thought it through properly. But at the end of the day it's your decision.

Mumeve there will still be "toxic" mums at private school its just that they will be competing with you rather than against you

Nothing to do with schools, but a (currently childless) couple who are friends of ours, and live in our town, said that before having children they would move away because they wouldn't want to bring up kids around here!

I was really offended. I'm sure that wasn't the intention, but for god's sake, use your brain before saying something like that.

It's a lovely area for kids but some people seem to be fixated on London == not good for bringing up children, technically we are in London but it doesn't have a London "feel".