Putting my child in a private school

[DaisyRaine90]

Can’t be the only one who started their child in state school and had such a bad experience dealing with the head teacher that we’re putting her in private instead? I wish I’d never put her in state school at all 😔 Grew up on socialism, but damn these schools are so bad. I already moved her from state to private nursery last year and it’s happening all over again x

What happened?

We moved younger DD from private to state. Unqualified teachers in private and ancient ways of teaching reading. Useless teachers higher up the school and I don't think anyone there ever did any cpd to improve their teaching. As for the Head - he would never have got a job in a state school. Neither would most of the teachers. It was brilliant for Early Years though. Paying may not get you what you want. Choose wisely. Private school teachers can be there because state schools won't employ them.

Tried to raise some concerns with the school, the head teacher refused to speak to us mid meeting and accused my partner of being aggressive 🙄 which he wasn’t. Really upset she couldn’t just have an adult conversation with us x

But of course that will be taken into consideration x

What is it that the school haven't done that you were hoping they would?

Our experience with the local state primary has been excellent. Maybe you’ve been unlucky.

My parents move me from state to private on my teacher's reccomendation. I am forever greatful to that man.

Good states, bad states, good private schools, bad private schools. No-one on here can give you any more.realy insight than that.

Unless what you are really looking for a bunfight. In which case, settle in, your wish is sure to be granted....

I think the issue is that, as you are on your second relationship breakdown with a setting in two years, you may just take your problems with you if they are being caused by unrealistic expectations.

I don't think many Headteachers halt meetings midway at the drop of a hat, so I think there must be more to this story.

I moved my child because she was unhappy. There was no relationship breakdown, we left the nursery on good terms but I was much happier with the second one. (One year in one, one year in the other with a long summer in the middle). I wasn’t really looking to discuss my personal situation tbh as to WHY. Just wondering if anyone else had done the same thing x

Why is it a state vs private issue?

Lots of people have been unhappy with a school and moved their DC to a different one. State to state, private to private, special(ist) to special(ist) and any mix of the above.

damn these schools are so bad

Very odd to blame state schools in general for your problem at one school.

Our children are at state schools and they're mindblowingly amazing: fabulous children and parents, committed and talented and engaging teachers, fantastic pastoral care.

We could afford private if we had to but thank our lucky stars that they're in such incredible state schools we don't have to.

Might the problem be something to do with you rather than the school?

Ttbb, they couldn’t help with the spelling though?

I didn’t say it was state vs private just been my experience.

Private schools are ultimately businesses and will cover their arses just as much if not more than state. I know from bitter experience fell free to pm.

Is there a parent governor that you could approach or write to the Chair of Governors about how you are feeling? Just be careful if emotions are running high and going from the frying pan into the fire. I have moved from Private to State from both and it was the best decision I made. Look at state alternatives if you are determining to move as well. In both sectors there are fantastic and appalling.

Given how we are now near half term I would also be wary of a private that had plenty of space. The better ones usually have bums firmly planted on seats and don’t need newcomers.

"I didn’t say it was state vs private just been my experience."

Yes you did!

I moved my kids from state to private halfway through primary.

Never blamed the state system though, just that particular school. My son got beaten up a few times (punched in the face), was held back a year (would still have to leave school at 11) and in a class of 36...and...and...and

Many reasons. 8 kids in his class left that year, it was dire (esp. The violence and how it was handled) .

For secondary they went to their catchment comp. As I had not lost faith in the state system, just that particular HT

It is just bad luck sometimes. I hope your DC settle into their new school.

It's rather silly to extrapolate from your experience with one state school and one nursery to conclude that all state education is inferior. Our experience of state education has been fantastic.

Grew up on socialism

So you're not in the UK then?

Well.we've just gone private to state and.ao far honestly think the state school is better than where my son was.

As someone else.said good and bad in both sectors.

Also if you move to private then the place at the state school will become free for someone who really wants/needs it, but can't afford private.

I wasn’t really looking to discuss my personal situation tbh as to WHY.
That's not exactly how MN works. You will get a better discussion if you actually engage.

There are good and bad schools in both sectors.

But you are entirely sensible to move you child from a school you don't like to one you do.

A question that no one has asked is you dd happy? Don’t underestimate the impact of moving if she is. My ds had a teacher last year who had no social skills whatsoever with parents but was wonderful and well loved by the children.

A private school will have its own culture that you will be expected to adhere to you need to ask yourself very carefully if you can tolerate this given your previous dissatisfaction. Do your research into the culture and expectations of the indie very carefully. By all means talk to other parents but in my experience lots of parents are wooly about having a moan when they are paying. Those who openly moan are not the faces who fit.

This is not a state v private issue.
It is one specific school which happens to be in the state sector v another school which happens to be in the private sector.
Professionals in all areas will fight to avoid criticism and will not accept that they have made a mistake unless there is a body of indisputable evidence proving it to be the case.
IME a constructive and conciliatory approach is more likely to result in a desirable outcome than a confrontational and accusatory one. And that applies everywhere.
I think you need to ask yourself what your desired outcome is and work towards that. Assuming it is a happy, non bullied DD who is fulfilling her potential, an you achieve that in the current school? If not, look to move her - if that is what she wants. But don’t expect perfection in the private system because it does not exist.