Putting my child in a private school

[DaisyRaine90]

Can’t be the only one who started their child in state school and had such a bad experience dealing with the head teacher that we’re putting her in private instead? I wish I’d never put her in state school at all 😔 Grew up on socialism, but damn these schools are so bad. I already moved her from state to private nursery last year and it’s happening all over again x

1. How have I behaved like a child?

1. What persecution complex? I do not think anyone is persecuting me at all. I’m sure I am not the first person to have a bad experience with a HT. They are people. Some are lovely, some are not. Some are good at their jobs, some are not.

1. I don’t care if you think I’m unpleasant. I haven’t been getting personal, but by all means attack ME and not my OPINIONS. That shows real character.

1. I can’t think of any way in which I should apologise for my parenting style. We are all doing our best for our kids I’m sure.

1. I never claimed to be a teacher that’s why I want my child to go to a school where they have time to teach her so that I don’t have to do it myself. I do, however think it’s schools job to speak to parents when they have concerns.

1. I believe I have the right to question anyone in a position of loco parentis about the care of my child, whether or not they are in the public sector.

I wonder if I would still be “ruining my child’s life” if I was moving her to a different state school??
Double standard much

Sorry OP I have to come back to this thread even though I have been trying to avoid it. No matter how much money you throw at your child's education, they will miss our substantially if you opt out of supporting their learning by deciding you are too busy. That's what you've said. I read with my dd every night, help her gently with times tables, take her to the library to find books to read, research topics with her as and when they come up either through the curriculum or general interest. I work, am probably just as busy as you, but I consider it an essential part of a child's development to be supported at home with a leaving environment. I'm not hot housing my daughter, just chivvying her along. And it's working very well and saving me a fortune as no private school fees to pay.

Suggest you post back in a years time to let us all know how wonderful this private school turns out to be.

I never said I wouldn’t do homework with her. Far from it. But that should be supporting the learning she’s doing at school not substituting it 😊

What a bunch of prejudices are on display. Private school bad, public sector good. Parents who ask questions of public servants bad. Parents who go private for schooling are not engaged.

OP check schools carefully. We have sent ours to fantastic schools but also experienced terrible ones.

Crumbs is that you?

There are good and bad in both.

But I certainly think we should challenge public sector workers if they are doing a bad job.

If I never questioned my GP I would be dead, for a start 😂

I really hope you are happier with the new school but it sounds to me like you haven't given the old school a chance. This is RECEPTION, it's all so new to them, they've done less than half a term. I sincerely hope that you'll not be too disappointed when you rock up to the private school and find that they're doing pretty much exactly the same as they were at the previous school mainly because they've only been at school for 6 weeks and they're still trying to make sure that they remember to put their coats on their hooks and their water bottles in the tray and to line up in the playground after playtime. They'll have some reading and some still on picture books and there'll still be the one who cries every morning and who the teacher gets tied up with and the one who's whining by 2pm because she's exhausted. Please be realistic and don't start telling the new teacher how to do her job when you find it's not all that much different after one single half term in reception

Why the 😂 after everything you say?

Worrying your dd is going backwards in her ability to learn to read after half a term at school at the age of 4 is a tad precious, OP. That said, I think a high proportion of children are simply not ready for school at the age of 4 and a huge amount of teacher time is wasted dealing with children who still cannot speak clearly, cannot wipe their own bottoms, wet themselves, poo in their pants, wipe their snot all over the place, and bite or shove other children when frustrated. It is ridiculous to put children of this age into underfunded classes of 30. Add to this the fact that a significant proportion of children with significant special needs still haven't been formally identified at this age and some of these have parents still in denial that they won't "grow out of it", and the government does not give schools any extra money to deal with these children with significant extra problems, and it is not surprising that some parents have experiences like yours in their child's reception year.

I think most of this could have been dealt with amicably. But I only raised one concern, regarding their management of a violent incident, and was then interrupted repeatedly before the HT decided to do the same to DP, who interrupted her because hey not all of us will be treated like doormats.
She terminated the meeting and refused to let anyone else speak to us regarding our concerns.

So no, my child cannot go to a school where I am unable to have a conversation with anyone regarding her care.
Whatever happens at her new school, if the new HT can talk to us like adults if we do have any issues (which hopefully we wont) then we can try and resolve any issues.

I have hardly been kicking off and complaining.
Yes I have vented on here, probably because it’s been very upsetting and I wanted to hear if anyone else had been in the same position.
& also because where else can I say all the stuff I have never got the opportunity to say in real life??

I wish I could have spoken to the HT about it. But hey, water under the bridge.

DD is going to a new school and I am very happy.
I am sad that some state schools are in such a sorry state, tbh.
I don’t understand when we lowered our standards so badly in this country, but maybe they’ve always been low I just never realised until I started looking at it through the eyes of a parent.

As I said before, I’m sure we all just want the best for our kids 😊

You come across as someone who could start an argument in an empty room.

I am sure that there is way more to the conversation with the headteacher than we have here in your sanitised reporting of it.

I am sad that some state schools are in such a sorry state, tbh.
I don’t understand when we lowered our standards so badly in this country

What you haven't taken away from this thread is the fact that making sweeping statements about "some state schools", based solely on your experiences, is inaccurate and not supported by the majority of people on this thread.

Some private schools are in a state too OP.

Smaller class sizes are an advantage, but sometimes can also mean that the school is not generating sufficient income.

A well respected and long established private school local to us has just gone bankrupt and had to close for that reason. It had substantial debts.

Most of the day students have had to transfer to the state comprehensives, which are pretty good around here, but already oversubscribed. I don't know about the boarders, many of whom were from further afield. There is now talk about the site being bought up by the Department for Education, for the building of a much needed new state school.

So if you do go private then research much more than just academic results and class sizes.

It’s not a sweeping statement, there are a lot of issues in some state schools.

I didn’t say all
& it’s not based on my experiences alone

It’s based on stuff I’ve read
& what I’ve heard from teachers, parents etc.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/teacher-network/2015/apr/18/secret-teacher-parents-toilet-train-children

www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-dorset-40599675/concern-over-non-potty-trained-children-starting-school

Kids going to school without being potty trained fully or otherwise
Being just one example of the strain schools are being put under

If things are going so well why are teachers striking?
Exactly, there are a lot of problems in some state schools.
Not all of them.

It’s not a sweeping statement, it’s a fact 🙄

I never said all private schools were good either.

😊

*So you’ve had a parents evening in the first 5-6 weeks of a new school year?

If this is the case, I think the teacher would have more time to teach your daughter if she wasn’t having her time being taken up with challenging parents.*

my 4 year old DD has been in school for 5 weeks exactly and our first parents afternoon is next week...

I do hope the private school deals with your concerns but I do think the biggest problem is you. After a few weeks of schooling you’re not really in a position to slate the whole state schooling system, which is what you do in your OP, and you have since shown yourself, despite your clear care and investment in your daughter, to know nothing about how early years education actually works.

Of course kids going to school in nappies (SN excluded) is not ideal but equally given state and private kids start at the same age I am not seeing how it’s exclusive to state schools either.

I never said it was ALL state schools.
Can’t be bothered to keep justifying myself tbh.
I have said many comments ago that I could have worded the OP better, but that essentially this thread is pointless now.
I have made a decision.

Not only that, I am not the only person to have issues with the HT. I know it’s easier to think I would be in the wrong (I’m sure I had a part to play, as everybody always does).

My original question was answered by a few. I was asking if people had been in the same position not if they agreed with me.

I actually put my kids into private school so they don't get bullied in them those public school. I can't let my kids go through such a bad experience. Do you think I made the right decision?