Are private schools worth the fees you pay?

[lupo]

Hi

I was looking for some advice from those of you who send your kids to private school. I have one son and recently went to visit Staines Prep School and really fell in love with it.

The thing is we could just about afford the fees, but I will need to work more hours (full instead of part time)as well as few sacrifices along the way. not planning on having any more children, and would like to go private as classes seem smaller, and sounds like children get lots of help and support.

Just wanted to know of your experiences of independant schools and whether good ones are worth the money. Any advice much appreciated.

Like the school but am going on gut instinct, and it is one of the few we could just afford.

Yeah I totally agree!

spluttered my drink at xenia's post
and the high heel remark !!!!!!!!!

My dad spent thousands on private education for me.

I'm the world's biggest slacker imaginable.

Ooooooh get you! School!

Do true rich people go round even pondering such things?

IME, no.

I suppose it depends what your expectations are really!

I went to a pretty rough comprehensive in Scotland and along with about 40 of my year went on to University, another 20 ir so went on to college or poly. Most of us have done well out of it!

I wanted my DCs to have a good education, just as I felt I had had. We looked at a lot of schools and the one we liked the best happened to be private. I hope they do well there - they cetainly have the opportunity to do so - it's really up to them what they make of it isn;t it?

Of course they do Expat. IME rich people often have great difficulties choosing schools because there are so many expectations placed on them e.g. daddy went there, uncles went there, g'dad etc... so much pressure to 'do the correct thing'

Wrigglejiggle - I think Expat meant, do they worry about whether it is value for money though!

And I agree with her - no they don't - they do it without thinking about it

Agree the rich will go private without thinking, but ime they're also very cynical about value for money. They just bitch/moan about it, but still wouldn't darken the door of state schools.

LOL alex.

Personally, (as someone who went to private boarding school), I would do anything to avoid my children having to attend private school rather than a decent state school. Can't you move somewhere with decent state schools?

I don't like the mind-shaping that goes on in private schools - a lot of them seem to churn out identikit tossers.

The state secondary schools where I am (Harrogate) get much better results than the local private schools, and the primary school mine are at now gives them a well-rounded education, ok, it might not include hockey, but it does include mixing with children of very different backgrounds (IMHO somewhat more useful than hockey).

Interesting. Some of it was frivolous, I suppose and I am not in favour of sending children to boarding schools because I think parents have a huge influence as well. Which bits did you thnk were so OTT that I must be making it up? I didn't send the children to private schools for posh blonde thickos (there are many) but to schools with parents from fairly mixed backgrounds - Haberdashers, North London Collegiate but I still liked those elements I mentioned. Why would you not want your children to have an accent like your own which gives them an advantage because they say you were rather than you was or whatever it might be? My mother in very poor state schools used to teach her classes of 40 how to speak properly and I don't think you get some of that correction of language and diction in the state sector so what results if the parents don't help... yet another inequality which is with them for life.

Also we're a terribly musical family and I found the quality of classical music in private schools better than state schools

As an aside we were slightly taken aback in the summer when we got a letter 2 days before the annual barbeque suggesting that as well as bringing some chairs we should bring a gazebo as it was going to be hot. I'd been prepared for a table cloth!

Being reception parents we of course scoffed, but were amazed at the variety of garden furniture that made it onto the field. Reception parents stood out, being those who had just brought rugs!

Must ask the head of my ds's private school why there are no parents choirs, lakes and mothers standing around in pretty dresses and high heels. PMSL.
Its a good thing he is settled happily at private school and I do feel the class size, curriculum, discipline and school ethos are worth the fees, otherwise I might run away in horror at the thought of parents like Xenia describes.

These part Xenia:

'hugely more likely to earn more than £70k a year' - well I know absolutely tons of people who earn this and beyond and they are all state educated

'and certainly to get to a proper good university' - know a few Oxbridge graduates from state schools and tons of others from the traditional 'redbrick' universities if that's what you mean (but what on earth do you mean? you sound a bit snotty about this and different universities are more suited to different vocations - the standard redbrick ones are not so hot on design for example - are you failing if you go to Derby to do design?!?!?)

'their teaching has been first class in gorgeous schools with lakes and fields where I can join parents' choirs or whatever and wear pretty dresses and high heels at social events.'- well that's just a wind up surely?!!! Pretty dresses and high heels - ha ha!!

Agree with milge. We don't have parents like that either. The parents at ours are your basic harassed looking parents that you see all over the place.

I also like the small classes....key for ds in particular as he has some problems with reading. He is in a class of 12 with a teacher (excellent) and LSW. He sees the senco every week for extra help. He is a year behind in his reading.

I teach in a stse school . To get this level of support where I work he would have to be 5 years behind his actual age.

Thanks for all your messages. when I say work full time i mean during school hours (the company i am working at the moment would let me do that) so that I would be able to drop him off and pick him up

The state schools around here are not very nice either

Well exactly, it's just a question that noone can answe for you. Everyone's circumstances adn child are different - it's an individual choice you have to make for your child based on their needs and what the state and private schools can offer you in your specific area.

It's pointless us all saying 'well for me, da de-dah' - because we are not you!

answer even!

aggree 100% gdg.

For me it is the fact that the school suits my kids neds, and also mine, since they provide pre school and post school care that it totaly flexable. So I only have to pay for those afternoons that I need to childcare for meetings etc. many days I am there ae 3.30 to meet them.

Also great are the ac=fter school clubs, like brownies. so Dd goes from school to the club, taken by the staff, and I pick her up at the end of Brownies, from school.....avoiding mad drives across town for pick ups and drop offs!

The title question is too general, it really does depend on the school and what you consider to be important. For me the opportunities for music, art and sport at dd's school as well as an excellent all-round education are worth the money.

Must admit to not considering the wearing of floaty dresses and high heels when I chose the school

...i like my pretty dresses and high heels, particularly at the summer garden party with Pimms.

As it happens, the nature of my work is that I see more people earning more than 70K than nearly anyone, and yes there is a correlation between private school and high earnings in the City. Indeed the media people I know who have something resembling success are a higher % private school.

But...
That's really not the same as saying that private education causes higher earnings. All we know is that they happen after. Not the same thing at all.
As I said earlier, genetics are a big thing here, and depending upon whose numbers you like best mother's educational level is second (and 1st in fucked up countries).
Since you have to earn rather more than average to pay for private education, there will be a correlation with parental IQ.
Also most private schools are overtly selective, each boy in DS's class had to beat 8 others.
If we had daughters would be easier, but even so, the simple fact is that private schools start with better raw material.
Thus it's very hard to prove their teaching is better (or worse).

Another factor is what the state secondary schools are like. Around here they are rubbish, and so the best chance of getting into one of the private ones (which are selective) is to go to a private primary / prep. The lucky ones who have got into the decent state primaries (DS1 didn't) typically spend the last year or two with private tutors to give them a decent chance at the private secondaries. You say that your gut instinct is for the prep school which you fell in love with and that the state schools in your area are poor - also that you'll still be able to drop off / pick up DS from school even doing the extra hours. Sounds to me like the Prep school is the winning choice for your DS.