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Original poster

Are private schools worth the fees you pay?

424 replies

lupo · 11/11/2006 20:32

Hi

I was looking for some advice from those of you who send your kids to private school. I have one son and recently went to visit Staines Prep School and really fell in love with it.

The thing is we could just about afford the fees, but I will need to work more hours (full instead of part time)as well as few sacrifices along the way. not planning on having any more children, and would like to go private as classes seem smaller, and sounds like children get lots of help and support.

Just wanted to know of your experiences of independant schools and whether good ones are worth the money. Any advice much appreciated.

Like the school but am going on gut instinct, and it is one of the few we could just afford.

OP posts:
Blandmum · 12/11/2006 15:40

There are ways and ways of talking. Your posts are not very tactful, to say the least!

'A bright child with a club foot' sounds jarring, at least it does to me. Do you have a sliding scale?

Cappuccino · 12/11/2006 15:40

"Are we so PC we aren't allowed to talk about the impact on a classroom of a disabled child in it? For goodness sake"

it wouldn't be a problem if you knew a blind bit about what you were talking about in that area. You obviously know nothing about the statementing process, SSAs, IEPs

you're just talking out of your Monday Club backside again

controlfreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaky2 · 12/11/2006 15:46

oh xenia. your views would be much better received if you werent so determined to express yourself in a way destined to offend.

coppertop · 12/11/2006 15:56

I agree with MB about the way the "bright child with a clubfoot" sounds. Do you have a list of 'acceptable' disabilities, Xenia?

Blandmum · 12/11/2006 16:00

and here is a point to ponder.

I have taught very clever children, at A level, who went on to good universities who had learning SEN. I have taught dyslexic/dyspraxic children , children with ADHD, and I am presently teaching a child with high functioning ASD. This child is generally considered to be the brightest ever to be in our school and we are looking at Oxbridge for him.

All of these had fairly severe SEN, but are fine young men and women who will make their way in the world and leave it a better place. I hope that people can say half as much for me.

Cappuccino · 12/11/2006 16:03

I don't know about anyone else, but this is the way that I feel about Xenia

people come on here with dilemmas; they want opinions. And if these dilemmas are about WOHMs/SAHMs or private/state education, Xenia comes and turns it into a huge row by expressing views which are abhorrently expressed, insulting to large numbers of mothers and their children, and thoughtless.

I think the OPs questions are worth more than this.

From my point of view, I was talking to my friend about this a couple of weeks ago. Both of us are married to a dh who went to private school, we went to state. She went to Oxford, and met a lot of people there too who went to private school.

We basically felt that our education had been remarkably similar to that of our dh or other private school educated people. the major difference seemed to be an increased confidence (sometimes confidence not backed up by ability!) and an increased willingness to blag their way into things

which is a useful skill to have, and confidence is great. But we didn't feel that it was worth the thousands of pounds spent on private education - you might pay a bit for it, but certainly not that much. It hasn't given our dhs an ability or advantage that we don't have as state educated graduates.

We didn't feel that education-wise, private was value for money at all.

Cappuccino · 12/11/2006 16:04

I've just read that back and it sounds as if we share the same husband!

Obviously we're good friends - but not that good! We do really have one each.

DarrellRivers · 12/11/2006 16:08

or perhaps belong to a Mormon type community

geekgrrl · 12/11/2006 16:18

my dd isn't as clever as most of your children, she's 5 and probably works at the level of a 3 year old.
Her primary school have often mentioned how positive it is to have her in the school - her teacher says that having her in the class has made a considerable positive difference to class dynamics and how the children interact with each other. She is not a burden and is not affecting anyone's learning.

geekgrrl · 12/11/2006 16:20

(not sure why I bother - xenia is doing a great job proving my point about private schools churning out tossers)

Judy1234 · 12/11/2006 16:22

C do you and your friend earn more or less than your private educated husbands?

Anyway I like debate and I have never said anything on here which offends the rules on posting and if people are over sensitive I suggest they get therapy for that.

Disability in the class room. One of my children is slightly dyslexic and clever. I know a bit about some of these things. My point is valid - children work better in groups of children who can work on the same work at the same time. The club foot doesn't prevent that. The ADD child not on medication who disrupts the class does prevent that. That's all. It's a very simple issue I'd expect most people to agree with.

iota · 12/11/2006 16:23

OK -have taken to boys for a kickabout and made fairy cakes with them, whilst pondering. Have decided that I'm happy to save myself huge amounts of dosh and keep them at the local primary.

Said dosh will then come in useful when they need to buy a house ( but have a sneaking suspicion that dh will have frittered it away on fast cars and fine wines by then)

TheBlonde · 12/11/2006 16:24

Going back to the OP, apologies if someone else has already pointed this out

You should bear in mind that the cost of school fees is increasing above inflation - about 5-6% this year

Cappuccino · 12/11/2006 16:25

we earn less Xenia

but this is because we went part-time after having children

which I know very well you think is in some way ridiculous because we all ought to have been back to work as soon as we got discharged from hospital

but no it wasn't anything to do with our education

Cappuccino · 12/11/2006 16:27

I think Iota that a house is a really good idea; I heard a programme the other day which said that the way house prices are going, we could be the last generation that saw owning a house as something achievable

certainly if I had the extra dosh hanging around that's what I would do. I would hate for my children to have to choose a career purely for the money because it was the only way to get a roof over their head

I work in the arts and know that I couldn't have chosen that if that had been the case

alex8 · 12/11/2006 16:28

Is earning the most money your only definition of success in life? Thats very sad.

Cappuccino · 12/11/2006 16:28

and I'm not going to get into your disability argument because you clearly understand about 5% of the issues

it's not really worth getting into with you because of that

ilovecaboose · 12/11/2006 16:28

"It's a very simple issue I'd expect most people to agree with. "
erm they obviously don't. And by 'simple issue' do you mean that those who don't don't seem to grasp the issue, as you state they are oversensitive to it?

You are very offensive in the way you write. Are you aware of this? HOw you say things is as important as what you say.

ScummyMummy · 12/11/2006 16:29

She sounds like an absolutely gorgeous kid, geekgirl, and an asset to any classroom. I am so glad my children get the chance to meet lovely kids like your daughter rather than the children of parents like Xenia, who might have imbibed the 'values' of their parents and act accordingly.

Cappuccino · 12/11/2006 16:32

what Xenia means by 'simple issue' is that she doesn't understand the complexities

or at least that's my reading of the situation

everything is as simple as that if you take a look at the Daily Mail

Blandmum · 12/11/2006 16:32

Do you know , I think that you are begining to put me off private school now, and I love the one that my kids go to!

The point is that is children have conditions like ADHD they can be just fine in classes , if the teachers have enough resources and the calsses are small enough.

The cruelty of the education system is that for many of these childrem the resources do not exsist, so their education sufferes, and so may the chhildren of other children in the class. But this is not the fault of the child for goodness sake, but the system that fails to provide for that child's needs.

The irony is that the private school that I have chosen for my kids has many such students in it, who thrive, because it is a small class, with predicable rules and a calm environment. Great for the child with ASD/ADHD and also for all the NT childen in the class as well.

Blandmum · 12/11/2006 16:33

and so may the education of other children in the class

ilovecaboose · 12/11/2006 16:34

that's how it comes accross to me.

Its amazing her wonderful private school education that taught her elocution, didn't teach her how to talk to people

ilovecaboose · 12/11/2006 16:35

sorry that was to cappuchino

coppertop · 12/11/2006 16:36

It sounds like an ideal school, mb.

ROFL at the idea that anyone who doesn't agree with Xenia needs therapy!

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