Are private schools worth the fees you pay?

[lupo]

Hi

I was looking for some advice from those of you who send your kids to private school. I have one son and recently went to visit Staines Prep School and really fell in love with it.

The thing is we could just about afford the fees, but I will need to work more hours (full instead of part time)as well as few sacrifices along the way. not planning on having any more children, and would like to go private as classes seem smaller, and sounds like children get lots of help and support.

Just wanted to know of your experiences of independant schools and whether good ones are worth the money. Any advice much appreciated.

Like the school but am going on gut instinct, and it is one of the few we could just afford.

Yes - good luck, lupo.
I'm sure that - if nothing else - this thread will have made you realise that you don't always get what you expect from private education!

I stand by what I said earlier - look yourself in the eye in the mirror and if you can honestly tell yourself that you believe that this school is the best one for your child and that the benefits to your child outweigh the sacrifices that you will have to make then you are doing the right thing.

If your decision has anything to do with your child wearing the 'right' uniform then you should question your own motives.

And never, ever, tell your child how much it costs or draw too much attention to the sacrifices etc. Don't let ds think that he's superior in some way just because he attends a private school.

My Father did that and it took me YEARS to turn into a normal human being - I really believed that I was better than other people until I was about 25 and had seen enough of the real world to understand that 'common' people were just those who hadn't had such a financially priviliged upbringing.

I've gone completely the other way now - I can't bear snobbery.

Thank goodness most of the advocates of private education on this thread have a more balanced view than Xenia.

Gosh everyone has been very uninhibited with their opinions on this thread haven't they. Feeling slightly mischievous, I cannot help noticing that some my co-southerners who live oop north (if Harrogate can be seen as anything other than a southern ghetto!) have opted for private education as a matter of course, but that they have all started complaining that their dcs have developed a local accent, whereas mine who are at the local primary speak like their southern softie parents. Not that it matters btw, just that it makes me query their real motives for educating privately and whether they are getting what they think they are paying for!

Labradora - tee hee!

By dh is a Geordie (privately educated!) and had a bit of an accent when I first knew him - he went to the King's School, Tynemouth.

I've beaten it out of him, though!

Dat's 'my' dh - not 'By'! Silly me - bakes be tound like i've dot a told

Dell di dav a dold dand dits dot dunny!

I'm not laughing (much!)

This is very wicked of me, but if you want to seriously increase your laughter quotient, google+uk the word Xenia. Is this the true price of private school fees...?

I'm very curious...
just about to give it a try!

'Your stunning private escort for intimate services with passion and sensuality.'

WOT?!!!!

Shall we start spreading rumours?!

Labradora - LOOK!!! Because I'm very, very wicked I started a spoof thread about winning the eurojackpot and needing advice from wealthy people. Even though it is obviously a wind up, Xenia couldn't resist posting this on it...
'I did have a look here. I suggest people buy their islands through hard work rather than gambling. Some of the richest people I know have interests in gambling (they take your money)... mind you it's been fun watching the share prices fall for those who have a lot of US customers.'

It's not normal, is it?

I asked the question because I knew they did get homework in state schools and here was someone suggesting they didn't. It's a nicer way to say it.

Anyway on islands I think it's easier to buy them through your earnings than from hoping to win the lottery. Don't you agree?

Of course. The extent of my gambling habit is allowing dh to waste £1 a week in his office syndicate and occasionally putting a tenner on the Grand National just for fun.
I think many people have a very poor grasp of the laws of probability. eg I once ran a stall at our school fete offering a new car as a prize for throwing six sixes with six dice. People were saying that the odds of winning must be millions to one. In fact it's 'only' 279,936 to one. The stake was £1 - the same price as a lottery ticket where the odds of winning the jackpot are around 14 million to one. So you would have been 50 times more likely to win the car than to win the lotto jackpot.

I may be naughty, but actually something deep within me makes me very uncomfortable with any gambling - I won't even buy tickets for the school lottery. Maybe I should have gone to a school that encouraged entrepreneurial spirit by rewarding risk taking behaviour...now which type of school would that be I wonder?

Now that's a funny thing - I'll happily buy £20 worth of tickets for a school raffle with no expectation whatsoever of winning anything - I just regard it as a donation.
Then much to my surprise I won a holiday last time!

Ah, I do buy copious numbers of school raffle tickets and likewise I have won a few things. and I agree, that that is a form of donation and it is only once a year. I prefer to give a donation rather than encourage lottery mentality. I suppose I'm inconsistent.

Ooh! - Don't set me off! I used to be Chairman of out school PTA and it's amazing what traps you can fall into.

Ours wasn't even registered as a charity when I took over, which is a legal requirement.

Lupo
we have just registered our son to join SP in Sept 07 - is that when your little boy will be starting?

any thoughts on St Michaels Highgate vs The cavendish ?

I don't think they are worth it no. But I guess it all depends what you want from a school.

I think there is far more to an education than simply good academic results.

It always depends entirely upon the school in question.
DS1 and DD have been to 5 different fee paying schools between them and they do vary enormously. 2 were pretty crap. The ones they are in now are worth every penny.
The first priority is to find the school to suit your DC and your circumstances/priorities and then what sort of school it is comes next.

I would say a definite YES

We moved our ds into a fantastic Prep school at the beginning of this year and believe it is the best thing we have ever done for him.

He was being bullied at his previous state school and the school did nothing to help him or us.

He has come on leaps and bounds since being in a class of 16 rather than 32, has specialist teachers in Science, Geography, IT, French, Music, Art etc and receives 10mins of prep every night on a subject they have studied that day in school (so all relevant to what he is studying) They have games,athletics or PE lessons everyday (which to a young boy who loves sport is totally fantastic!)

He reads to a member of staff every day! and on a Thursday gets to read to the Head!! The staff are available at the end of everyday for a chat if I have concerns and nothing ever seems to much trouble for any of them.

To me, this school is how my State primary was run back in the 70's. Good manners are expected, High expectations of work, respect for others and the teachers, something that I can assure you were not to be found in my sons state school.

His prep school also extends beyond the national curriculum as the children study the Common Entrance syllabus.

we were all for private education at senior level and believed that would be sufficient for our son to succeed however seeing how his school is instilling in our ds now the love of learning, how to study correctly, independently and as a group/class and how much time the teacher can devote to our son we are so happy that we have moved him.

However fees are the big topic here..... the do go up a big amount. Our daughter starts reception in the pre-prep this Sept and her fees will be £1400 but the jump to Year 1 is huge and by the time they are in the Prep dept its £3000 a term plus the fees increase at the beg of each new school year (sept) be 100% certain you can afford the fees. Speak to an independent financial advisor regarding paying for schooling. Plus are you 100% certain of no further children? We were told after our DS's birth that we would be unable to have any more children, yet just before my sons 5th birthday his sister arrived!!

Plus are you willing to go back to work full time just to finance a place at the school?

Private school have very long holidays, my son breaks up this Thursday for end of lent term and has a whole month(!) off school and returns on the 22nd April. Also summer holidays last for 8 weeks, thats a long time to be off school and you would have to work all through that time and arrange child care which would cost too.

Do think hard about it, as for all my praise of my sons prep school, if I could find a state school which gave even a little of what I have found in his prep school , I would look at it!

Best wishes

I would definitely say yes.
I've read this thread with interest as many of the views expressed encompassed my own...until I had kids and enough money to send them to an independent school.