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Original poster

is it OK for the school to suspend dd and not notify me?

295 replies

NigellasDealer · 04/07/2014 09:03

well OK they sent me an email at 3,25pm to tell me that she was being suspended for a day, the next day, 'paperwork to follow'.
is that actually OK?

OP posts:
MadameDefarge · 07/07/2014 09:27

My dear, if you are going to throw your toys out of the pram every time someone veers off your carefully laid of course of acceptable responses, then perhaps MN is not the place for you?

MadameDefarge · 07/07/2014 09:29

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

usualsuspectt · 07/07/2014 09:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Shesparkles · 07/07/2014 09:29

Or MD, you could stop picking the scab?

Original poster
NigellasDealer · 07/07/2014 09:29

not at all, if you would care to read the thread you will see that I have accepted a wide range of responses with good grace.

however suggesting that I have mental health problems like you do is not really a reasonable response is it?

OP posts:
usualsuspectt · 07/07/2014 09:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
NigellasDealer · 07/07/2014 09:30
  • well good enough grace anyway Grin
OP posts:
differentnameforthis · 07/07/2014 09:34

Are we pulling the poverty card ND? because I can out poverty you right now.

Bloody hell!! Listen to you!

This isn't a thread about competitive poverty. How dare you try to belittle someone who cannot afford to buy shoes for their child, especially as you appear to be in that same situation. How dare you be so fucking rude.

OP, step away. It is no-one's business what your dd did, or how you deal with it.

NO ONE has the right to belittle you for being broke.

MadameDefarge · 07/07/2014 09:34

And it is rather funny that you have decided that those who agree with you are the, ah. knowledgeable ones.

Wearing the wrong coloured shoes is not crime of the century. Walking out of a detention is pretty poor behaviour. And deserves a sanction.

Are we all happy with that?

Letting parents know a sanction is in place must of course happen. Which it did. Via email. Via DD, quite possibly via missed called.

Being unobtainable via phone means school must try other methods.

I would say suck it up.

BellaVita · 07/07/2014 09:34

She will have had warnings.

Are you sure they didn't try and contact you by phone?

How many times do you think they can let a child get away with stuff like this?

I get fed up of witnessing such behaviour and yet parents still think their child has done "nothing wrong".

We get parents ringing up saying their child won't manage a day in IE and they are crying and won't come into school... This so winds me up.

Get on the phone OP and make an appt with the HOY and find out what has been going on.

Yes I do have teens btw - one 17 and one 15. The 15 year old is less than perfect.

MadameDefarge · 07/07/2014 09:35

bangs head against brick wall.

Being poor is no excuse for bad behaviour.

differentnameforthis · 07/07/2014 09:35

Really? No MH issues. Oh well. I was trying to give you an out. Clutching at straws. That kind of thing.

Good God, you are absolutely fucking vile!!

MH issues is an 'out' now, is it?

TheWordFactory · 07/07/2014 09:36

I think an email is a bit crap nigella but apart from sending a mote perhaps asking for a different form of contact next time, it's not worth letting yourself get diverted from the main issue here.

I know you've said in the past how exasperated you are by your DS educational chaos, and how proud you are of your DD...

You need to make sure she keeps on thr right track here. That's the main concern for you!

combust22 · 07/07/2014 09:36

Not being able to afford shoes of the right colour?- but you can afford shoes of the wrong colour. If you can only afford one pair of shoes then the responsible thing to do is to buy then in a suitable colour for school.

TheWordFactory · 07/07/2014 09:38

If the shoes have to be black - get thee to Primark. Black brogues for tuppence happeny Grin...

Original poster
NigellasDealer · 07/07/2014 09:38

And it is rather funny that you have decided that those who agree with you are the, ah. knowledgeable ones

er no actually I meant eg the teachers who have replied and put me straight. I have thanked them for that. but then you would know that if you had actually read the thread, which you patently have not.

and bellavita where exactly did I say that my dd had 'done nothing wrong'? once again, read the thread.
it really pisses me off when certain people on this forum just make their own assumptions and carry on regardless.

OP posts:
differentnameforthis · 07/07/2014 09:38

Being poor is no excuse for bad behaviour.

Only bad behaviour I can see here is yours, it isn't because you are poor, obviously....so what's YOUR excuse?

Just like kicking people while they are down, do you? Makes you feel better about your situation?

Wearing the only pair of shoes you have for school isn't bad behaviour. The op has no obligation to tell you, or me what she is doing about it. That isn't what the tread is about.

MadameDefarge · 07/07/2014 09:38

If the OP is going to cite poverty as the reason that her DD wasn't wearing the right coloured shoes, then it becomes part of the debate.

It is not rude.

Different, you are really missing the point. I was very helpful in my suggestions in how to find a way to get another pair of school shoes the right colour so that the OPs DD would not be sanctioned again, and would therefore not be tempted to walk out of detention.

You are a funny old lot.

My little pwincess behaves badly. But the issue in my mind is whether they gave me enough notice.

Yes they did. And in a perfectly reasonable manner. Via email. And via your DD.

So quit the outrage.

usualsuspectt · 07/07/2014 09:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

differentnameforthis · 07/07/2014 09:41

Not being able to afford shoes of the right colour?- but you can afford shoes of the wrong colour

Did you stop to consider that perhaps the op'd dd HAD shoes in the school approved colour?
Did you stop to consider that they may have fallen apart/are no longer fit for purpose?
Did you stop to consider that op's dd wore the only shoes she had for school, so that she could actually...you know... GO TO SCHOOL?

Or did you just want to get your kick in, like the others?

MadameDefarge · 07/07/2014 09:41

Different schools have different sanctions, which should be implemented within guidelines. I can read perfectly well, even though I am not a teacher, thank you.

They did what they could.

OP is mistaken in thinking she has cause for complaint.

There ya go.

combust22 · 07/07/2014 09:42

But the OP is being irresponsible for choosing to buy shoes in the wrong colour on a limited budget. Not a very good parenting choice is it?

Original poster
NigellasDealer · 07/07/2014 09:42

combust she was wearing an old pair (that someone else got her months ago) that were less worn as they had not been worn for school.

wordfactory beleive it or not there is no primark in our town.....and no tesco either can you imagine!!!
but yes you are right she needs to keep on track.
she has already been invited to join the sixth form by her HOY, so I am still proud of her.

OP posts:
differentnameforthis · 07/07/2014 09:43

different, you are really missing the point.

I think it is you who is missing the point, to be fair.

MadameDefarge · 07/07/2014 09:45

Takes all sorts I suppose.