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Education

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is it OK for the school to suspend dd and not notify me?

295 replies

NigellasDealer · 04/07/2014 09:03

well OK they sent me an email at 3,25pm to tell me that she was being suspended for a day, the next day, 'paperwork to follow'.
is that actually OK?

OP posts:
NigellasDealer · 07/07/2014 11:01

yes yes she has gone off happily to school this morning (as usual) wearing the correct shoes that I got for her a couple of weeks ago (just after all this started).....

OP posts:
Deverethemuzzler · 07/07/2014 11:26

I heard someone has was giving out teen parenting advice on this thread.

Then I saw Combust's posts.

Sad
AbbieHoffmansAfro · 07/07/2014 11:35

I'm bewildered by this thread.

If schools want to impose a next-day exclusion then they need to make sure they have notified parents the night before-actually notified, as in ensured the primary carer knows not bunged one or two messages out and assumed they were received.

And that's a completely separate issue from OP's DD's behaviour and what to do about it (which we are not being asked in any case).

I'm sorry that's a very dull post, actually addressing the question in the OP.

Give me a minute and I'll come up with something bizarre to shoehorn into the thread.

tethersend · 07/07/2014 12:11

The school has acted within the law, as has been said many times. Email counts as notification in the exclusions guidance linked above.

Try as I might, I cannot for the life of me see where the OP asked for advice on how to prevent her DD from being excluded.

Am Grin at 'compartmentalising'- start a thread on one topic, and unless you discuss ever other thread you ever started, you are compartmentalising Grin

I'm a teacher, BTW. One who deals with exclusions on a daily basis. Bizarrely, I have no desire to tell the OP what a terrible parent she is Confused

AbbieHoffmansAfro · 07/07/2014 12:14

Oh, I understand that tethers, I just think the guidelines are inadequate.

NigellasDealer · 07/07/2014 12:16

I have no desire to tell the OP what a terrible parent she is
thank you tethers! sense spoken from someone actually in the saltmines...

OP posts:
NigellasDealer · 07/07/2014 12:17

....or is it 'at the coalface'....?.
whatever..

OP posts:
tethersend · 07/07/2014 12:51

Sorry Abbie, that wasn't to you. FWIW, I agree with you that the guidelines are inadequate.

tethersend · 07/07/2014 12:52

Chalkface?

Err... Now there are interactive whiteboards... Hmm. Not sure Grin

BuzzardBird · 07/07/2014 13:02

Shock I am ashamed at the fellow 'humans' on here that have given Nigella such a kicking. I hope you never find yourselves in the same position over something a tad more serious than the "wrong colour shoes" ffs!

TheWordFactory · 07/07/2014 13:09

tethers threads on everything from hair and beauty to relationships to the OP's attitude to dogs have no relevance...

But attitudes to education, in particular disciplinary action within schools, is relevant, I would say. And pretending that these things happen descretely is compartmentalising.

But ya know, no skin off my nose if the OP wants to carry on with the same old same old...

TantrumsAndBalloons · 07/07/2014 13:15

You know what? I read this earlier and I didn't respond because I didn't really think I had anything to add about how the school could have communicated this better.
And then I read a bit more from all the marvellous people who decided to give you advice on what to do about your dds suspension and bringing up your ds which IMHO has fuck all to do with this thread and thought I had better avoid it.

But now, it's got worse. Now your parenting is being questioned, your finances, your choice of partner FFS

So, you probably don't need me for a bit of solidarity Grin but, you are not the only parent in the world to have a child excluded from school. I just wanted to balance out the thread as apparently most of the Dcs on here have never even had a detention.
My ds1 was given a 2 day external exclusion recently. They told me around 2pm this was after they had sent him home
They can't give a letter to the Dcs in case it doesn't actually get handed over. The letter contains information about how your dc can't be left unsupervised or be in a public place during school hours and you have to know that.

So our letter was sent by post and arrived the next morning.

So, yep I'll join the terrible parent bench if you want? My ds is actually a pretty decent 15 year old who is top set for everything and predicted A grades next year.

Quite how that's possible when he has had many detentions and an exclusion I don't know. It must be luck eh? Or not.

differentnameforthis · 07/07/2014 13:35

The father of your children was your choice Nigella.

OmFUCKINGGod!!

You are so fucking vile.

So any single mums out there, it's all your fault because you choose that man to be your kids father.

Any women living with DV, it is your fault because you choose that man.

have I got that right, combust? You are nasty human being to have said that to op.

NormaStanleyFletcher · 07/07/2014 14:01

PartS of this are, frankly, afucking disgrace.

OP. I think you need to make sure the school know the best way to contact you.

the
'best' parent in the world can have shit happen where teens are concerned.

I don't judge you.

Ignore the gf.

TheWordFactory · 07/07/2014 14:05

norma of course all DC can fuck up, however hard we try! None of us are impervious.

However, if bad shit keeps happening, we surely have to start asking questions of our methods? This isn't controversial, surely?

If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep getting what you've always got...

AbbieHoffmansAfro · 07/07/2014 14:14

I skived a lesson once. Should I kill myself now?

usualsuspectt · 07/07/2014 14:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DottyDooRidesAgain · 07/07/2014 15:05

Bloody hell what happened here!

ND I still think the school made every effort to contact you given the limited ways available but I do not agree with bringing your parenting in to this.

You are correct at no point did you ask for parenting tips or how to deal with your DD and those that have proceeded to bring in other children, the father, money an MH have taken this thread to it's lowest level.

Last time I looked ND you had buggered off to enjoy a shopping trip Smile

NormaStanleyFletcher · 07/07/2014 16:59

"if bad (shit keeps happening"

Is there some back story I am unaware of that I ammeant to be taking account of?

Sorry, I was taking the thread at face value and have been frankly shocked at some of the responses.

SlowlorisIncognito · 07/07/2014 22:31

Nigellas I went to school in an area that sounds fairly similar to yours- lots of kids bussed in from outlying villages, and this was before you could assume everyone had a reliable internet connection (obviously you can't assume it today, but it was a time when lots of people didn't have internet at home). Mobile signal was, and still is patchy too, and there were some people who didn't have landlines. My school did seem very careful with things like detention, suspensions, school trips, activities etc, that they would never put anyone (even sixth formers) in a situation where they could end up stranded.

I sort of think people who don't live in areas like this don't really appreciate that it does bring extra difficulties, and in an ideal world, schools would be extra careful with making sure that communication is sorted, as it's not as easy as things can be in other areas. Sometimes, these things don't seem like minor details either.

I don't think it would be unreasonable to say you understand the school fulfilled their statutory obligations, but communication is difficult for you right now- and it would be good if they tried a back up method as well- e.g. leaving a message on your phone, sending a letter home with your daughter, anything else they can suggest. Hopefully, the school is used to dealing with things like this and will be sympathetic, and try to do this if the situation ever arises in the future.

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