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Original poster

is it OK for the school to suspend dd and not notify me?

295 replies

NigellasDealer · 04/07/2014 09:03

well OK they sent me an email at 3,25pm to tell me that she was being suspended for a day, the next day, 'paperwork to follow'.
is that actually OK?

OP posts:
combust22 · 06/07/2014 10:30

Not an issue to her- but it is for the school.

DottyDooRidesAgain · 06/07/2014 10:34

I would be mortified if my child was excluded from school. Is that not the main issue here?

No combust.

The OP is more concerned that the school didn't notify her (which they did by e-mail the same day) and that due to her not/unable check her email and having a poor mobile signal the school should either have come up with a new way (carrier pigeon has been suggested) of contacting her or suspend her DD on the Monday instead of the Friday so as to not inconvenience her.

combust22 · 06/07/2014 10:39

Unbelievable.

Nerf · 06/07/2014 10:47

I can understand the OP's concern that an email may not have been read.
Once a decision is made to exclude the head must contact the parent and then follow up in writing. It seems that email was used as phone contact is patchy. The head can decide to exclude the next day (a duty of care is needed).
Reintegration meetings are no longer a requirement (changed in 2012) but some schools still use them as good practice.
Trust me, I know this.

BoneyBackJefferson · 06/07/2014 11:00

MadameDefarge
"now your DD and her rubbish school. Their rubbish attitudes,"

They have followed their policies

"their rubbish manner of communicating with you."

That is entirely down op the OP.

"Their particularly rubbish manner of not seeming to be able to explain to you in any clear manner why either of your dcs are being sanctioned."

In this case they have told her why her DD is being sanctioned.

DottyDooRidesAgain · 06/07/2014 11:05

I think MrsD was being sarcastic Boney

I don't think she was in favour of the OP and more making the point of how OP has blamed the school before but has not addressed he children's behaviour.

differentnameforthis · 06/07/2014 11:14

Not an issue to her- but it is for the school.

NOBODY said it wasn't an issue for the op. It isn't the issue HERE!!!

We have NO idea how the op is dealing with it, because she hasn't said, and she hasn't needed to, because that isn't what the tread was about.

Way to split hairs!

differentnameforthis · 06/07/2014 11:15

*thread

BoneyBackJefferson · 06/07/2014 11:28

Dotty

I hope so :)

ravenAK · 06/07/2014 11:31

well, the communication isn't perfect.

A letter typed out & handed to the kids in addition to the email would have been better - yes, NigellasDealer's dd might easily have 'mislaid' it on the way home, which is why the email, or any other form of communication which doesn't depend on the child's reliability/honesty/memory is required.

However, the school did satisfy the statutory requirements: so I'd say an emailed reply acknowledging this but pointing out that a letter to back it up would be appreciated next time, might be the way to go.

The 'but what if I hadn't checked it & dd didn't tell me & I sent her to school?!' worry is needless. This does happen in schools. Sometimes communication fails, & sometimes parents have been known to simply decide they don't like the idea of their child being excluded & pack them off to school regardless.

The child would usually then be placed in internal exclusion/isolation until a parent could be contacted to collect, then probably be excluded on the Monday.

It's generally better to carry out exclusions immediately rather than postpone them (hence not originally delaying it till Monday to allow for a letter to be sent out) as it avoids a day where the child knows they have exclusion hanging over them, & is either distressed at the prospect or stomping around creating disruption...

70hours · 06/07/2014 13:44

Raven you speak a lot of sense :). OP hope your daughter ready to go back into school tomorrow :)

Original poster
NigellasDealer · 07/07/2014 08:27

No one has even asked specifically what the initial "offence" was
wearing the wrong colour shoes if you really want to know

OP posts:
MadameDefarge · 07/07/2014 09:05

So she broke a school rule, refused to accept the normal sanction, it escalated and your are pissed off?

Original poster
NigellasDealer · 07/07/2014 09:07

fgs you lot remind me of my chickens when they find a mouse and go crazy pecking at it.

OP posts:
Original poster
NigellasDealer · 07/07/2014 09:09

all clucking in unison...
it was a simple question about communication, not about my daughter's behaviour.

OP posts:
MadameDefarge · 07/07/2014 09:09

Why was she wearing the wrong coloured shoes?

Has she explained why she felt impelled to walk out of the detention?

'Its not fair' is not an acceptable reason. But there might be another one.

Original poster
NigellasDealer · 07/07/2014 09:11

because I could not afford a new pair OK?

OP posts:
usualsuspectt · 07/07/2014 09:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MadameDefarge · 07/07/2014 09:15

Life is all about context ND, you may want to be able to pick and choose what context you give your crossness at the school.

But for the record, I think you are the one peck peck pecking at irrelevant minutae. Why the school didn't chase you around with your own personal messenger? because it is as much your responsibility to be contactable as it is for them to contact you in a timely fashion.

You know, two way street and all that.

If my child had been involved in an accident at school and was in hospital, I would expect them to move heaven and earth to get hold of me.

If it is simply of matter of communication a sanction for breaking the rules, then no, I think its fine they probably tried to call you, sent you an email and of course your daughter is a perfectly valid method of communication as well.

If you feel really strongly that their communication system is not robust enough to deal with the demands placed upon it, perhaps you could join the PTA or whatever and help work out a better one.

Original poster
NigellasDealer · 07/07/2014 09:19

I did not expect the school 'to chase me around with a personal messenger' I was simply consulting the people of this forum whether or not the communication was sufficient in this case.

the answer from some knowlegable (and less so) has been 'yes'.

I am perfectly happy with that and have thanked people for their valuable input.

If I throw you some corn will you stop pecking now please?

OP posts:
Original poster
NigellasDealer · 07/07/2014 09:20

*knowledgeable people

OP posts:
MadameDefarge · 07/07/2014 09:22

Are we pulling the poverty card ND? because I can out poverty you right now.

If you can't afford a new pair of school shoes in the right colour, and you know your DD will be sanctioned for not having the right colour, it is YOUR responsibility to talk to the school about this, to see if they can help, maybe even getting an emergency payment from the council, maybe asking on freecycle.

If you have MH issues which make it hard for you to engage, and I have had experience of that as well, I sympathise. But the buck has to stop somewhere.

MIND is particularly good at providing advocacy services if you need handholding through the often humiliating processes involved in keeping you and your children's heads above water in times of hardship.

MadameDefarge · 07/07/2014 09:24

For example. I have had no money since Friday.

I had to handwash all of DSs uniform, including his blazer, in cold water. That was a joyful way to spend a Sunday.

His shoes are falling apart, but I reckon they will just have to do for another couple of weeks.

Original poster
NigellasDealer · 07/07/2014 09:25

I do not have mental health issues! please stop projecting your own problems onto me.
so my income has been cut by £700 a month since christmas! (thanks to their dad) I am not playing any "cards" thank you.

OP posts:
Shesparkles · 07/07/2014 09:25

Actually I happen to think YANBU, and that sending an email is a lazy person's way of dealing with something like this. If you'd had a phone call from school, I'm thinking it's likely you would have wanted to engage in some kind of conversation about the matter, but to send an email, and at 3.25 (near the end of the school day presumably?), smacks of 'hit send then leave the building', therefore not have to have a potentially awkward conversation with a parent.