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is it OK for the school to suspend dd and not notify me?

295 replies

NigellasDealer · 04/07/2014 09:03

well OK they sent me an email at 3,25pm to tell me that she was being suspended for a day, the next day, 'paperwork to follow'.
is that actually OK?

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TheWordFactory · 07/07/2014 09:45

Just make sure she doesn't get busted for breaking small rules ; it's this stuff that makes all the difference to which kids succeed and which kids don't, believe me.

Warnings/internal suspensions/detentions etc... this is all the stuff that takes up so much time and head space and is a complete waste of everyone's time.

The school start to dislike the pupils who waste the time, and the pupils spend more time whining about the unfairness of it all rather than concentrating on what matters.

NigellasDealer · 07/07/2014 09:46

MD would you like a dead mouse to peck at? I can arrange it no problem.

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NigellasDealer · 07/07/2014 09:47

Yees WF you are right and we have had serious words about this (amazing isnt it!!? NigellasDealer is not a totally crap parent!!)

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differentnameforthis · 07/07/2014 09:49

But the OP is being irresponsible for choosing to buy shoes in the wrong colour on a limited budget. Not a very good parenting choice is it?

did you read what I wrote? perhaps at one time op could afford to buy a pair of 'school shoes' and a pair of 'not school shoes'

Shoes worn every day wear out quickly. It is safe to assume that the school shoes could have worn out to the point where they are unwearable.

Ergo, the child only has one pair of shoes left.

She wore those to school as op cannot afford to replace school shoes.

It isn't about buying the wrong colour shoes for school, it is about making do with what you have when the item has become unfit for purpose.

Not everyone can afford to replace something the minute it becomes unfit for purpose.

Some will never know what it is like to not be able to replace the most basic of things. That is what is happening here.

yet you seem to want the op to admit to purposefully buying the wrong colour shoes in order to set her daughter up for detention.

Wild imagination you have there!

differentnameforthis · 07/07/2014 09:51

combust she was wearing an old pair (that someone else got her months ago) that were less worn as they had not been worn for school.

My point exactly! Not about buying wrong colour, but about using what she had at hand, because she can't get any others at present.

combust22 · 07/07/2014 09:52

But the OP has internet acces and a device to use it. School shoes should take priority over that expensive way to communicate

NigellasDealer · 07/07/2014 09:54

combust can you just leave it please?
I work online OK?

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hercules1 · 07/07/2014 09:58

Combust- you are being ridiculous and incredibly rude. Life is not so simple and I hope the op doesn't take what you said to heart.

MadameDefarge · 07/07/2014 10:00

Look, Nigella, I am not trying to make out your are a bad parent, we all struggle, rich or poor, to be good enough parents. Every day is a challenge and it is exhausting and demoralising as a single parent, especially for dcs with SEN, when there is not enough money to cover all the essentials and we have to pick and choose.

I was actually trying to be helpful about finding funding for the shoes. So that your DD can avoid those sanctions in school which will make her feel bad, and will lead to bad behaviour.

Its MN. People are going to disagree with you. Shouting the odds about how everyone disagreeing with are a bunch of stupid cunts, essentially, just creates bad feeling. And a shortage of sympathy in a really rather ordinary situation where there is room for interpretation, given the lack of real facts at our disposal to make a judgement on.

You also have to take responsibility for the way your behaviour, here and in RL makes people react to you.

Well, you don't, but it might help not to put people's backs up.

TheWordFactory · 07/07/2014 10:01

nigella there's no point getting the hump with posters who are telling you to put first things first...

Most of us have kids who have never had a detention, let alone s suspension. It would horrify us. So of course we're going to wonder why your first reaction was to come on and mither about how it was communicated!

To most parents that seems like a complete arse about tit reaction. You shouldn't be surpirsed when then question it.

But hey ho...

NigellasDealer · 07/07/2014 10:01

Shouting the odds about how everyone disagreeing with are a bunch of stupid cunts
I have not said that though have I?
entirely a product of your fevered imagination.

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NigellasDealer · 07/07/2014 10:02

can you quote where I said that ?

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NigellasDealer · 07/07/2014 10:04

Most of us have kids who have never had a detention, let alone s suspension
oh really is that so? well good for you.

So of course we're going to wonder why your first reaction was to come on and mither about how it was communicated

I was not 'mithering' thanks.

if you really want to know the school has a track record of it eg keeping my year 7 son for after school detention without letting me know when we live 14 miles from the school.
but i did not mention that as it is long in the past.

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combust22 · 07/07/2014 10:06

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MadameDefarge · 07/07/2014 10:08

did you miss the qualifying word essentially?

It means that that has been the tone of your replies. IMO.

If that is not your intention, then you need to modify your manner of writing so as not to give people the impression you despise them utterly.

combust22 · 07/07/2014 10:08

"Most of us have kids who have never had a detention, let alone s suspension."

I agree- and very few kids that I know have had either.

NigellasDealer · 07/07/2014 10:09

why are you being so unpleasant and patronising combust?
yes both my children have had detentions and exclusions so what?
I am a good enough parent.
why not save your bile for the father that abandoned them?
oh no I forgot it is only ever the mother to blame.
sorry to see you have internalised that misogyny.

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NormaStanleyFletcher · 07/07/2014 10:09

This doesn't look much like for parents by parents.

What is it with this place at the moment?

combust22 · 07/07/2014 10:10

The father of your children was your choice Nigella.

MadameDefarge · 07/07/2014 10:11
NigellasDealer · 07/07/2014 10:11

combust stop projecting your problems and insecurities onto me thank you

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hercules1 · 07/07/2014 10:11

Combust- surely no one is as nasty as you in rl. You are being horrible.

MadameDefarge · 07/07/2014 10:11

oh combust, that is pretty damn low, even for me (apparently a very low person indeed).

Entirely unnecessary. And bitchy.

OwlCapone · 07/07/2014 10:12

Most of us have kids who have never had a detention, let alone s suspension

Probably because they are at crap schools with poor discipline Wink

Both my DSs have had detentions simply for forgetting books and stuff.

NigellasDealer · 07/07/2014 10:12

(tapes olive branch bak together and hands it to MD accidently poking combust with it on the way)

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