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Original poster

is it OK for the school to suspend dd and not notify me?

295 replies

NigellasDealer · 04/07/2014 09:03

well OK they sent me an email at 3,25pm to tell me that she was being suspended for a day, the next day, 'paperwork to follow'.
is that actually OK?

OP posts:
WhereHas1999DissappearedToo · 05/07/2014 12:51

OP, I suggest you get a landline if you want to have better communication with the school.

Original poster
NigellasDealer · 05/07/2014 12:52

gosh where that is inspirational! I never thought of that! thanks so much

OP posts:
Hakluyt · 05/07/2014 12:56

I don't think re inclusion meetings are usual for a one day exclusion. But for 5 day exclusions they are, I think a statutory requirement.

DottyDooRidesAgain · 05/07/2014 12:57

The only person who appears to be spoiling for a fight is you OP.

The school did contact you, in an acceptable way.
It is not their fault you have bad reception nor their fault you couldn't access the internet.

If your DD had not taken it upon herself to walk out then she would not have been suspended therefore no need for the school to contact you. If you are looking to blame anyone blame your DD for creating the situation in the first place.

differentnameforthis · 05/07/2014 12:57

There isn't a lack of communication though. You probably were phoned and you were emailed

the school are well aware that many of us parents have communication issues

So yes, there was a lack of communication. The school are aware that parents have communication issues. If they couldn't reach op by phone (which is an assumption that many have made, op didn't say that they had attempted to call her) they should have backed the email up with a letter! Op says her daughter told her, so there is NOTHING to suggest that her daughter would have binned the letter at all.

Most here are making assumptions about things that op hasn't even mentioned!

Schools are not perfect you know, they occasionally fuck up. In the case of my 5yr, whose teacher (not her normal teacher, a stand in) failed to notify me & the leadership team that my daughter banged her head very hard at school. My 5yr old didn't tell for a day or so, so it is lucky that she didn't start to show signs of a concussion, as I would have had no idea what it was, without the information the teacher withheld. The school have actually refused to use her again, because they were so angry that she didn't think it was important enough to tell us.

And before anyone says anything, she could have phoned, emailed, written in my daughters communication book (which I check every night), put a note in her book bag, asked the early years support officer to call me, or even told me when I collected my dd.

So yes, schools fuck up! Or in this case, I believe they just got lazy!

waterducksback · 05/07/2014 12:58

Confused as well.
You say you don't have a landline and mobile reception is patchy and yet, you're upset that the school contacted you by email (which was the only option left to them).
How else were they supposed to contact you........carrier pigeon?

BeerTricksPotter · 05/07/2014 12:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mylovelylovelyhorse · 05/07/2014 12:58

hey look everyone

there's someone down over here

let's give her a good kicking

differentnameforthis · 05/07/2014 12:59

WhereHas1999DissappearedToo So are you offering to pay her bills for her? As op did say they had to get rid of the LL as it was too expensive.

But you know, I guess she could stop eating so she could afford the bill...have you thought of this op Grin

Original poster
NigellasDealer · 05/07/2014 12:59

i am not 'blaming' anyone dotty though am I? Also I am not condoning her behaviour. I just thought there could be better communications.
So are you saying is that if my child misbehaves then no protocols or systems have to be followed?

OP posts:
Original poster
NigellasDealer · 05/07/2014 13:01

beertricks I only have one child in school

OP posts:
WhereHas1999DissappearedToo · 05/07/2014 13:01

Nigella, well it would solve commutation problems...

I'm not in the UK but I don't think you would go into an inclusion meeting for just one day exclusion.

Original poster
NigellasDealer · 05/07/2014 13:01

and she is well liked by her teachers and predicted good grades for GCSEs.

OP posts:
Annunziata · 05/07/2014 13:02

The letter wouldn't have arrived until Monday morning at the earliest so that's not helpful at all.

differentnameforthis · 05/07/2014 13:02

You can iron out the finer points of communication at the meeting, but that really does seem to be the least of your worries wrt their school experiences at the moment

More assumptions. The op hasn't asked for help wrt her daughter's behaviour so it is unfair to assume that she isn't addressing it. But you know, don't let the lack of pertinent facts stand on the way of kicking someone when they are down!

DottyDooRidesAgain · 05/07/2014 13:02

Ok OP. HOW?
What better communication do you suggest?

You admit your phone reception is poor so they probably did try and ring but couldn't get through.
They emailed you at 3:25 I assume this is the end of the school day. Again not their fault you had no internet.
You have no land line so they cannot contact you that way.

So what form of contact do you expect from the school.

Your title is is it OK for the school to suspend dd and not notify me?

Which is a lie because they DID contact you.

Original poster
NigellasDealer · 05/07/2014 13:03

wherehas i cannot afford a landline (waits for smug crew to tell me I should not have had children then)

OP posts:
Original poster
NigellasDealer · 05/07/2014 13:04

ffs I am not a 'liar' - they sent me an email which I saw the next morning so in fact I could have sent her back to school that morning in my ignorance.- so effectively I had not been informed.

OP posts:
teacherwith2kids · 05/07/2014 13:05

In our school's contact files, it says things like:

"Does not have e-mail access at home" / "No landline" / "Mobile patchy / not available at work"

That is because parents have told us these things and we have recorded them - along with e.g. 'Preferred method of communication is letter' / 'Ring duirect supervisor on x numvber and leave message' etc.

However, if you have NOT told school all of the problems that could arise when trying to communicate with you, how did you expect them to know? How would they contact you if e.g. she had an accident at school / was taken ill? If they would try the same communicatuion routes as they have tried to use in this case, but for all the reasons you outline would be unsuccessful, what would happen?

If, on the other hand, you have already notified the school of all the issues there might be in communicating with you and a preferred method by which they should do so, then them using a 'non-preferred' method like e-mail is their mistake.

differentnameforthis · 05/07/2014 13:05

"paperwork" should have been given to her daughter to bring home.

She is 15, not 5. Responsible enough to hand a letter to her mum, seeing as she did actually tell her mum that she had been suspended & why, so clearly has nothing to hide.

Simple. Even if email communication was effective, saying 'paperwork to follow' would suggest that the daughter will be given all relevant details.

Original poster
NigellasDealer · 05/07/2014 13:06

the school know about my 'issues' teacherwith2kids - but thanks for advice

OP posts:
differentnameforthis · 05/07/2014 13:06

What better communication do you suggest?

Really?

letter student home -- mum!

That isn't hard! It could have been typed in less time than the email took!

clam · 05/07/2014 13:07

I would say that most of the 'verbal kicking' is coming from the OP herself. She sounds more than capable of sticking up for herself.

But as she's not asking for help wrt her dd's behaviour, why do you suppose she is "down?" She's cross with the school, that's all, but many on here believe she's being a bit unreasonable about that.

Original poster
NigellasDealer · 05/07/2014 13:08

differentnameforthis Flowers

OP posts:
RandallFloyd · 05/07/2014 13:08

But effectively, you had been informed. That's the whole point.
They did inform you. They cannot be responsible for you not reading your emails, whatever the reason for that is.

He would you have preferred them to notify you? Genuine question.