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Original poster

is it OK for the school to suspend dd and not notify me?

295 replies

NigellasDealer · 04/07/2014 09:03

well OK they sent me an email at 3,25pm to tell me that she was being suspended for a day, the next day, 'paperwork to follow'.
is that actually OK?

OP posts:
teacherwith2kids · 05/07/2014 13:08

[My own communication list for school, especially for DD who has a recurring heaslth problem that can flare up without warning, is really quite detailed: it gives 1st, 2nd and 3rd contact methods for different times of day, for example, and details when i can access e-mail and when i cannot, and wehen my mobile number will work and when it won't. I send school a new one each term as events change]

clam · 05/07/2014 13:08

differentname Whilst it seems that the dd in this case did tell her mum about the incident, schools cannot assume that all students will, hence the email.

DottyDooRidesAgain · 05/07/2014 13:09

You have been informed FGS. They e-mailed you. Which is a form of contact you have agreed to.

It is not their fault you did not read the e-mail.
What do you expect them to do spend the night continuously trying to ring you in the hope they eventually get through?

Also your DD knew as you stated earlier she told you so the 'I would have sent her to school' is wrong isn't it.

StealthPolarBear · 05/07/2014 13:09

Op what do you expect the school to have done? A few people have asked and youve not answered

differentnameforthis · 05/07/2014 13:09

teacherwith2kids RTFT.

OP says school are aware of communication issues!!!

And anyway, how can the school be sure that parents check their emails every day? dh doesn't, mil doesn't.

Email is only effective IF you know, 100% that the addressee is going to see said email.

Hence why the letter should have been in op's daughters hand the day she was suspended.

Original poster
NigellasDealer · 05/07/2014 13:10

randall i would have preferred her to be suspended on the Monday not the Friday, givng time for me to read emails etc., but I guess things dont work that way.
you do know what 'effectively' means don't you?
effectively I had not been informed, despite the email being sent.

OP posts:
teacherwith2kids · 05/07/2014 13:11

Stealth, it appears that the OP would have prefrred a letter, sent home with her daughter.

Even in a primary, we would not use that as the 'most reliable' form of communication if it is an urgent issue connected with a child who is in trouble or around whom there is an issue, simply because gioving the child the power to with-hold the information from a parent is too likely to be abused.

Original poster
NigellasDealer · 05/07/2014 13:11

obviously not dotty - there is no need to be silly now is there?

OP posts:
waterducksback · 05/07/2014 13:12

Nigella, is it possible that the school may have sent a letter home with your daughter and she just hasn't shown it to you (maybe 'hoping' you wouldn't find out - anythings possible with teenagers)....and not realising that they would also email you to make sure that you knew?
It might be in her schoolbag.

You could try calling her bluff ....say the email stated there as 'also a letter
Teenagers can be sneaky (I know I was ....a million years ago :)

StealthPolarBear · 05/07/2014 13:12

X post
so you expected your dd tp bring a letter back. But her verbally telling you is not enough?

RandallFloyd · 05/07/2014 13:13

I would say a letter via the child is probably the least reliable way to do it in all honesty.

It is an option, granted, but for something like this surely direct contact with the parent is better.

teacherwith2kids · 05/07/2014 13:13

So, Nigella, it says on your school's communication files 'do not use e-mail for communicatioon as only read between 8.30 and 2pm' or whatever?

DottyDooRidesAgain · 05/07/2014 13:14

Really?

letter student home -- mum!

You are sure that the school didn't do this?

Just because school gave DD a letter does not mean she will bring it home.
Had they have just handed DD a letter and not followed it up with any other contact it would have been all
'That's wrong. How can they expect/trust a child who is in trouble to hand over a letter from school'.
'Not very responsible of the school is it''
They should have made contact as well to ensure the parent knew'

Sound like the school can't win to me.

StealthPolarBear · 05/07/2014 13:15

And if they'd pposted it it would have been irresponsible to rely on royal mail

SuffolkNWhat · 05/07/2014 13:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DottyDooRidesAgain · 05/07/2014 13:16

obviously not dotty - there is no need to be silly now is there?

How am I being silly?

Your the one accusing the school of not contacting/notifying you but that is not true.

I actually don't know what your thread is about anymore.

Original poster
NigellasDealer · 05/07/2014 13:18

spewed forth from the jaws of Satan
Grin I might have to use that one myself

OP posts:
Original poster
NigellasDealer · 05/07/2014 13:19

dotty if you have comprehension problems then that 'is not my fault'
anyway I am going shopping now so I will bid you all adieu - and thank you all for your valuable input.

OP posts:
WhereHas1999DissappearedToo · 05/07/2014 13:20

I agree with Dotty, I wouldn't trust my DD bringing home a suspension letter.

teacherwith2kids · 05/07/2014 13:21

Exactly, Dotty.

School's discipline plicy will satte something like
"Breaking internal exclusion will lead to 1 day's suspension, to be taken the next day".

Staff try to phone, several times. No answer, which may have been expected because fles say 'e-mail reception patchy'.

They know from experience that sending a letter home with the child in trouible is not reliable (it might perhaps have been in this case - though of course the absence of a handed over letter is not proof that it doesn't exist, as others have pointed out - but schools tend to work on a 'our normal procedure is to do x', using a procedure that works in the vast majority of cases).

So they send an e-mail, at a time that still allows a very long time when the OP might have had internet access - 17 hours between the time of sending and the time when the daughter would normally be arriving in school.

What more would they be expected to do? You could argue that the discipline plicy should say '1 day's suspension at a time convenent for the parent', but it is unlikely to!

RandallFloyd · 05/07/2014 13:23

I think we're disagreeing about what effectively means. (Although I'm not sure your overly aggressive tone is helping matters)

I think it means that they did actually inform you. As in, they sent you the information and you received it into your inbox. The fact that you didn't read the email is neither here nor there. They sent a message and it was received. Therefore, effectively, they did inform you.

If they had left a voicemail on your phone that would have been effectively informing you too. Despite the fact that they didn't actually speak to you in person.

They same as if they had given a letter to your DD, or posted one to you. They cannot guarantee you would read it but they sent it, therefore they had informed you.

If the absolute only way of effectively communicating with you is an actual conversation via the telephone, which isn't possible, then I'm not sure what else can be done.

DottyDooRidesAgain · 05/07/2014 13:25

dotty if you have comprehension problems then that 'is not my fault'

I don't think it's me who has comprehension problems OP. You clearly cannot grasp the fact that school contacted you by a means agreed by you at an earlier date.

If insulting me makes you feel better then carry on but it does not make your argument valid also makes me wonder if your DD has the same attitude

Your DD misbehaved. Had she not this situation would not have arisen.

RandallFloyd · 05/07/2014 13:28

Seriously. You are very, very aggressive.

differentnameforthis · 05/07/2014 13:33

You are sure that the school didn't do this?

You are assuming that the daughter would not have given it to her mum, yet she told her mum about the suspension, she told her why it happened, so I doubt the daughter would have had anything to hide.

Just because she behaved the way she did, it doesn't mean she isn't reliable when it comes to given her mum messages /notes etc.

clam · 05/07/2014 13:34

The only way the school could have been reasonably assured you might have got a letter about this is if they had posted it. And that, of course, takes a few days. Suspensions/exclusions are immediate; it's not likely they're going to say, "We'd like to give your child a fixed-term exclusion; please let us know when it's convenient for you/them, preferably sometime between now and the end of term, if that's not too much of a bother."

Still not sure what the OP expects the school to have done on this one, if she was emailed and (possibly) phoned by mobile, but has no landline.

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