Those of you in favour of grammar schools, come and tell me what to say to my Ds...

[seeker]

He woke up crying in the night because the reality had just hit him that he won't be going to school with his close friends in September because he failed the 11+ in September. "I can't be very bright, can I mum, or I would have passed" " no, it was just one of those things-you're going to a good school, you'll be fine" "I know- but if i was clever I'd be going to school with X and Y" "You are clever- look at your SATs-you'll be in the top set at the high school because of those" " it's not SATS that are important, though, it's the 11+"

Do you want to have more kids feeling like that? Then campaign for more grammar schools,

The very words pass and fail tell you where you stand!

Isn't that a useful life lesson though - we fail things all the time, at least I do. Also certainly in the private system chdilren are sitting for lots of schools and know their chances and parents never say you will go X - they say you probably won't get in but let's hsave a go but XYZ school is probably better anyway so little Johnny is perfectly happy when he ends up at the second choice.

Anyway hardly any areas of the country have grammars so it's all pretty irrelevant.

It is indeed Xenia- I think that it did me a lot of good in the end but not as an11yr old. I don't think seeker's DS can think that - it is only hindsight.

seeker uses the teen "high school"nwe lived in Kent for seven years and not once did I ever hear that term used in was always comprehensive or academy for the non grammar schools

We are very lucky that most areas have got rid of them and it is irrelevant to most.

If there is a grammar school it can't possibly be comprehensive for the ones who fail!

I really don't get seeker She chose to live in a grammar school area and made the decision that her dc would sit the 11+. One of her dc fails and it's everybody else's fault

Hmmm...

Reminds me of some neighbours we had. Moved away to live opposite the girls' grammar school. Their dd then failed to pass. The next thing there were giant posters in their front windows and in their car: "Axe grammar schools!" The father even stood for the council on an anti-grammar school platform.

I don't think she chose to live in Kent.

We live on a tiny island. It's easy to commute. Move to a different area.

People live where the work is.

Lots of people have to move for work, or to be near family or commute long distances to live in a place which suits their family. Perhaps she should do that?

"If there is a grammar school it can't possibly be comprehensive for the ones who fail"

While this is technically true exotic, a 'not comprehensive' upper school in the vicinity of a super selective (or sometimes even a more moderately selective) grammar school may well have a more comprehensive intake than the comprehensive on a sink estate with no grammars anywhere near.

If you live in Kent you would have a long way to commute in some places! Easier to live in France and commute!

jabed I believe seeker has already said that there are no comps in her area. In my area you have the choice of Grammar or SM - only.

I am always glad when these threads come up that we live in an area with no grammar schools.

While I can agree,gelatinous, it is misleading in seeker's case.

Thousands of people commute out of Kent every day. Why would it be so hard to do it the other way around? I find it bizarre that someone who detests an educational system so much lives in one of the very few places in the UK where that systems continues to operate

I have always said my Ds wil be fine . What I am saying is that we have a system where even a confident clever supported child can feel a failure at the age of 10.

And no there was no jubilation when my daughter passed. And yes I have campaigned against grammar schools sin e before my dd went to one.

Sorry- misleading to say comprehensive, which is why they don't.

I cam only conclude that seeker feels her son has been unjustly denied a place which is rightfully his.

Question: if your son genuinely was not bright enough to pass the exam (not like your son who you think is bright enough, and should have got a place), what would you say to him if he woke up in the night crying because he felt inferior to his friends? Whatever you would do in that situation, I suggest you do in the current situation because passing on your evident sense of injustice offend whole thing to your son will do him no favours.

Well I live in a grammar area even though I don't like it as I live in the village I was born in and have always lived. Sorry that I was born here but I'm not moving away from my home and friends because of the system. DD will have to make the best of it.

yes that's true enough exotic.

"If there is a grammar school it can't possibly be comprehensive for the ones who fail"

Thats not true for where I live. Rural area between two towns. One town is a comp only system, other town is grammar and secondary modern.

We are not in the catchment area for the secondary modern but are for the grammar. So any kids that either fail or don't take the 11plus take a bus in the opposite direction and go to a comp. Odd but true.

I think that's actually the right spirit Viva because you know what you are facing and are prepared to deal with the consequences if it doesn't turn out the way you want it to.
seeker always appears to suggest that entry into a grammar school is a lottery but she has to remember that she was the one who bought a ticket.