SAHM or private school for DC(s)

[Gatorade]

I have a 4 month old DD and I am starting to think about what I want to do in relation to going back to work and future school options (these decisions appear to linked as affordability starts to come into the equation).

We could comfortably afford for me to be a SAHM and send DD to a private school (well pre-school nursery first, but then through the private school system), this again would be ok for a second DC. The difficulty would be if we have more than 2 DCs, if we are lucky enough we would like 3 or 4.

If we were to have 3 DCs I would need to work at least 3 to 4 days a week to ensure that we could maintain our lifestyle (which is quite basic really, we are not extravagant people) and fund the school fees from earned income.

I am not too worried about my own future career, I feel I have achieved what I wanted to in terms of work before I had DD and if I don't have a professional career again in the future (if, for example I take 10+ years out of the workplace) this wouldn't concern me.

So my question, what would be more beneficially to my DD and future children, having a SAHM or going to private school?

Alana, I'm not implying that wohm don't love their kids. I am replying to posts further up thread that ask why some are happy to sah, or implied that really we aren't happy, or letting women down by choosing to do this. I have given my reasons. I am happy with my lot, thats all. I love my kids and enjoy saying I'm a housewife, full time mum, and the rest I posted above.

are you being obtuse?
housewife stays at home doesnt work,not income generating. unregulated

a nursery nurse or cm work, are paid.cm and nursery nurse are externally regulated jobs which facilitate working parents to work

some one opined why are cm and nursery nurse paid,and housewife not
well cm and nursery nurse are employment
housewife isnt a job and unpaid

volunteers are usually unpaid
depending on sector have crb clearance

Good last sentence Housework.Couldnt agree more.Also
Someone upthread said that you can help your child get work better if you have been out to work yourself.That may have been more true,before the internet,but I dont think that point has much validity now.
But there is now such a great internet resource,and SAHMs are perfectly capable of having a very large social circle,that just about any occupation that your child wishes to pursue,can be researched,and helped by people in your social network,and their friends etc.

I agree amillion.

Also if you spend 30 years as a high flying doctor, your advice won't mean shit if your child aspires to be a teacher or laywer so that's a risky strategy really.

Scottishmummy, its all enjoyable jobs, tasks and duties as I see it. I may not be paid, but sure as hell would have to pay alot of people to do all this for me. For me personally I don't want to pay others to do what I want to do. Its as simple as that really.

if a housewife hasnt worked for years how can she talk knowledgeably and experientially about workplace, work ethic, and ethos of work

yes best friend google can help
but its not substitute for actually working, demonstrating work and talking experientially about work
i can google gardening and shrubbery doesnt make me a gardener,or knowledgeable about it

potatoprint,by all means one makes choices
but housewife isnt comparable to working in childcare and nor does watching own kids equate to working

I agree, not comparable to working in child care, and it isnt employment.

I just dont think these facts devalue it as an option.

responding to the ole why isnt housewife paid chesnut

Depends on the workplace. I can talk to my partner about his work, I used to do a simalar thing and it is of intrest to me so I like to keep upto date with it. I often help him out by being a sound board or come up with ideas he could use. Just because I don't work anymore doesn't mean my brain has turned to jelly. But if my one of my children turns out to be a zoo keeper like she wants to be, no I have no experiance in that and if I had carried on working I still wouldn't but it doesn't mean I couldn't talk about it or ask questions and take an interest in the things they do.
I don't just talk about baking as someone suggested before. This view of non working parents as dullard imbeciles is quite insulting.

I think thats where we will have to beg to differ. I am a qualified teacher and have also worked in nurseries. I have a crb. I don't look after anybody elses kids but when mine were little I did the same job with them as I did other children, because to me it was important. I consider this to be work, but would do even without qualification or crb. I addition, I don't know how much housekeepers charge or nannies but they would only be doing the same job, sorry.

no. working in own time,own agenda with no external pressure,no boss is in no way comparable to working. honestly im laughing you genuinely think you can compare what you do at home to a job

Scottishmummy, so what are all the thinks I and other sahp's do then? Hobbies, interests. Can't really say cleaning the loo is a hobby of mine. Its a dirty JOB but somebody has to do it. Cooking, perhaps I should let them starve. I'll agree its not paid work, nor does it employ anybody else. But my family would be a damn sight worse off If I wasn't here to do these whatever you might want to call them.

Scottishmummy, so what are all the thinks I and other sahp's do then? Hobbies, interests. Can't really say cleaning the loo is a hobby of mine. Its a dirty JOB but somebody has to do it. Cooking, perhaps I should let them starve. I'll agree its not paid work, nor does it employ anybody else. But my family would be a damn sight worse off If I wasn't here to do these whatever you might want to call them.

youre describing tasks,chores
necessary.yes
comparable to job -no

dictionary.reference.com/browse/job

No. 3) anything that a person is expected or obligated to do; duty; responsibility.

youre scrapping bottom of barrel with that
desperate

Look. If my dp was a single parent, he would have to pay someone to look after his children. He isn't. I look after them. If we were both at home he would do 50% of the looking after. He isn't so he gives me money instead. Why is that a problem?

How about this one then. Notice it says OR FOR AN AGREED PRICE

a piece of work, especially a specific task done as part of the routine of one's occupation or for an agreed price: She gave him the job of mowing the lawn.

So maybe we can argue about housewife being an occupation now. Anybody a definition for this?

Scottishmummy, the only desperate one is yorself as I have noticed you argue this point quite frequently. Not sure why its such a problem of yours

housewife not paid because its not working
housewife isnt a job,isnt income generating
its a private familial arrangement
and no amount of listing chores or tasks makes undertaken makes them comparable to someone undertaking them in an employed capacity

Seeker, both your DCs are at school. So you aren't looking after them between 9-4, say. I don't have a problem with anyone staying at home to do anything, whether it's painting their toenails or doing a phd. My only issue is with people who claim they are looking after their children all day long when clearly, they can't be. Why is it such a problem for SAHMs to admit that they aren't doing child are for most of the working day once their kids are at school?

Nobody on this thread, as far as I know, has said that they are looking after their school age children all day, have they? I think I said earlier, why not debate with th people who are actually here and talking, rather than an imaginary cohort of daily mail readers?

Scottishmummy, that is your opinion, not a fact, because the definitions in the dictionaries say different. I'm sure they'll rewrite them if they have it wrong. For the record I think I do various jobs, I have an occupation as houswife, at least I state this as an option on questionnaires.