top grammar vs top private

[darleneconnor]

For argument sake say you had to choose between a top (ie top 20) state grammar and a top private school which would you go for?

Assume no financial constraints and no objections to the principle of private education.

my dc goes to a top grammar and we had the choice of a top private school as well.
The reasons we opted for the grammar are:
school journey, dc travels with friends by bus.
Greater possibility of local friends

One thing to consider is that although grammar schools are larger,they offer more friendship choices.

There are loads and loads of extra curricular activities offered by grammar and my dc does only one of them, not being a sporty type. However, there is certainly scope to do sport to a very high standard.
Most outstanding is the music which is really amazing. Most kids in year 7 are grade 4 and above in more than one instrument. There are loads of orchestras and musical groups.

I think though one of the chief differences is that grammars are truly inclusive and that means that you get all sorts there rather than kids from quite well off backgrounds.

Not sure that's true nowadays Boffinmum - was in my day though.

Mostly excess drinking at one of our children's schools. Not sure how many drugs.

Used to live next to Wellington College though- they all went down to the rec every Saturday evening to meet their dealers.

According to friends with children at "top public schools", the parents send it in now to avoid their kids buying adulaterated stuff.

arf at everyone going on about smaller classes, extra-curiccular activities etc.

If I had all the money in the world I would send the DC to a top private to make the right contacts. oh, and to get a good education too.

They select by ability rather than cash -in theory. In practise there is a big overlap in the venn diagram.

I don't mean actual ability- I mean achievement by 11. (due to tutoring etc)

cod if you've just watched Who Gets The Best Jobs...you're not too far wrong.

Jajas I think that depends on the grammar. Ds' grammar school is situated in a working class town with a poor reputation locally. Yes there are some tutored middle class kids there but far more who are not.
We've experience of both sectors and I'd take good state provision (selective or non) every time.

Care to name which 'top' private schools? Or was that your imagination?

Know several people in that position who chose the indie, and one who cohse the grammar and is now desperately scrabbling for a place in Y8 at an indie for their DC. The point as previously made is the comparison between specific schools, and the specific DC - cannot give a onesize-fits-all answer.
Our DC are likely to have been offered places at our local grammar had we applied, but we chose not to, and so far are happy with that choice - for OUR DC - not claiming the right decison for all DC.

I would go private, more wood.. and church.:)

Depends totally on the personality and ability of the child and the style of the individual schools. We have just had to choose between 2 private schools (4 year waiting list for DD1) and chose the one that suits her learning style the best. If cost isn't an issue, the choice between grammar and private is immaterial.

I'm quite suprised that the majority who've responded so far are leaning toward private rather than grammar. At DDs private primary, no-one who got a grammar school place turned it down in favour of private. Because our area has no grammars they were all residual places so the kids had to do really well to get in and all have quite a journey. Mind you, the good independent that gets results on a level with the grammars is a long way too for most people.

In terms of 'making the right contacts', we're scientists and DD is looking likely to follow suit - DH has had to do quite a lot of recruitment/management at PhD level and on the whole reckons he's been more impressed by the output of grammars than independent (though those may not have been 'top') - what matters much more in our fields is going to the right university for undergrad or even better postgrad.

grimma distance would certainly have made an impact on me.

As it is, the indie and grammar are equidistant, and equally inconvenient .

As for contacts, well I can see how that might be the case in science, and admit it's not an area I know much about at all.

But so many other areas do revolve around networking and internships.
That said, our local grammar is only marginally less well heeled than the indie, so those opportunities are probably available anyway.

The ridiculous ting is that when I chose DC's prep school, I didn't for a nano second think about such things. I just loved it, the rest be damned.

I was also probably very naive about social mobility in this country, believing that a child from any background can do whatever they want. After all, I'd managed it!!

Now my rose tinted glasses have fallen away, I can see that the UK is riven and that the absurd notion of networking and internships is worse than ever.

If you are talking about top academically selective independents then they are far more selective than the top grammar schools and many boys fail to get into them but get into grammar schools.

A grammar school is a good academic education but that is all. If that's all you're after then save the money but Public School is far, far more than a grammar school education.

IN our area if you want a mixed education amongst people of all backgrounds (given where we live) you pick a very academic selective private school and if you want to segregate your child by religion and often colour you pick a comp so it's certainly not the case that private means tall posh blonde girls and state mixed.

Most of the country has no grammar schools at all just comps or fee paying schools so the grammar school issue is not relevant. They were abolished where I was brought up in about 1970.

Most of the schools in the top 50 for A levels are fee paying schools, they are also mostly single sex and if state tend to be state grammars.

Grammars do not always have as much money and facilities as fee paying schools but gramamrs in posh areas where parents earn lots are in effect school choice by house price so some of those children may well do well at musio etc.

In my daughter's school - Habs - they put you in classes based on where you live with the idea you make friends near you (and the schools operate wide ranging private coach services which also helps full time working parents with not only end of school coach but also late coach and even late late coach if you have masses of sport or music or other clubs - someone mentioned not keen on sport but private schools have clubs on all sorts of Mandarin to chess and I presume state grammars do too).

You need to look at what suits your child and also where childrn tend to do well. what is interesting is that children who don't do that well in fee paying schools do fine later because they were given other skills like confidence, accent, contacts, friends in a way you often can't get at some other schools.

Odd though my DH went to the local comp and made all his contacts at uni. Life long friends who now hold quite important positions. Never suffered from lack of contacts - just thought it was worth a mention. I went indie and have taken very few school friends into rl with me. Met my contacts in first few jobs in the City.

The other think to remember is that, while a comfortable, familyish atmosphere might seem overwhelmingly important at 10, they don't stay 10 for long, and learning a bit of self reliance and self motivation might well stand them in better stead once they go on to further education.

Grimma the OP says no financial constraints, no principle issues.

In those circumstances, having had a grammar school education, I would choose the indy (depending on what it was like, obv) because I don't want ds shoehorned into a particular career route and I think the indy would give a broader education with more vocational facilities, while not neglecting the academic basics. There would also be more proper sport as opposed to PE.

A no brainer - a top private. All the nice facilities & teachers only too happy to help.

Grimma, I'm surprised too, tbh. Ds got a residual place at a fantastic grammar ten miles away and we are absolutely delighted with how happy he is there and how well he is doing academically. The school is Ofsted Outstanding, always does well in national league tables and is often cited in the press as one of the best state schools in the South-East - including its pastoral provision and sense of community.
None of our local independent schools - including one that is definitely a minor public school - measured up academically, so for us it was a fairly simple choice.

"A no brainer - a top private. All the nice facilities & teachers only too happy to help."

As opposed to a state school which will obviously be located in a Nissan hut in a disused coal mine with three teachers per thousand children who spend their lives buying things from the Betterware catalogue and smoking Capstan Full Strength in the razor wite defended staff room while pupils knife each other and mainline heroin.

For me it would depend entirely on the schools and children in question. I had this one with DD1, who got a place at the grammar beginning with T. We turned it down in favour of a more local independent school (a) because of the distance and (b) because I felt the grammar was too focussed on academia and wanted her to have a life with other interests too.