Teen Eating Disorders Thread 4

[SoTiredNeedHoliday]

Starting a new thread, no 3 is full

@Lougle any idea what helped with the weight gain? I feel like we're at your stage of putting on and losing the same grams each week...

For us, DD1 had intrusive thoughts that prevented her from complying with the meal plan. Once she was on olanzapine, she was able to cooperate. She's only on a tiny dose (1mg twice per day) but we were literally discussing NG tubes with the consultant and he was saying about PEG feeding in the longer term. She started olanzapine the next day, and the following morning when I tried to make her eat, she said "This had better fill me up!!"

Welcome hu although sorry you've had to find us, how olds your dd? Do you want to tell us a bit of your story so far? My dd is 15yo, started restricting during the first lockdown and ramped the exercise right up. She lost around half a stone (was slim to start with). We saw the ED team end of last August and started FBT.

Initially got off to quite a good start but things nosedived at Christmas and we've been clawing our way back since then.

Currently dd eats well 3 meals a day but there's absolutely no freedom or flexibility with any of it.

@Lougle .. we saw a private psychiatrist who put her on fluoxetine but it didn't help much and she said it won because of her low weight .. she had depression and anxiety for a while before Covid delivered anorexia kindly! I thought if I could fix the depression her appetite would return which it sounds like may have happened ( I know that's speaking very generally ) with your daughter . ?

Thank you , she is 18 in November which makes everything tricky ! She started restricting food in the first lockdown but already was very low and struggled with anxiety .. she is very bright and luckily managed to get great grades without doing any work or revision etc and that is continuing into her a levels!
We have just started with their plan which is to restore food by us insisting which obviously didn't go down well ! We are literally on day 2 of this after months and months of begging for help and waiting for appointments..
it's just all desperately sad isn't it 😞

@huuuuunnnndderrricks yes, DD1 was very depressed. The fluoxetine takes several weeks to kick in though, so it might still help. The brain does need to repair before meaningful recovery can take place though.

@huuuuunnnndderrricks welcome but sorry you have to find yourself here. My Dd turned 18 a few months ago so if I can help at all with the challenges around an older teen and the transition from camhs to adults please do say.
Quick backstory - Dd has history of disordered eating but last spring this spiralled (due to trigger from disregulated emotions) into severe restrictions in eating and rapid weight loss. Few hospital admissions, lots of self harm. Into Christmas and beyond intensive Camhs support of 8/9 interventions a week. In March she decided anorexia wasn't going to kill her and moved into recovery- a path we're still on. She's stopped school but will be returning in September (suspect we'll have a big wobble around then as reality of her friends going off to Uni kicks in).

Hu Tabitha Farrah is often cited as very useful for older teens, I have actually just ordered one of her books as thought it might be useful for dd.

There is a fb group EDSUK which can be a bit hit and miss but there are some useful guidelines around FBT in the files. Eva Musby is also useful although aimed at younger kids.

Dear @huuuuunnnndderrricks sorry you find yourself here. We have same aged dd. We were in hell with this March to May. Utter hell. But after 2 weeks of sertraline end of May she decided to get better then put on 8kg in 4 weeks and is weight restored (suddenly!) but very much not mentally restored! This next few weeks may well be hardest of all for you as you try to pivot but just keep the faith it will eventually get better. May be months not weeks. . The one thing that helped me (other than all these brilliant ladies suggestions here) is to remember nothing is more important than the next mouthful. Ie if breakfast doesn't go well... don't let that affect how you approach snack or lunch. Move on. Make sure the next session is calm and every time an extra forkful gets in it is a massive success.
My DD is also 18 later this year and lots of the theories that work on young kids fail. She knows calorie count of everything and can spot a dollop of butter or cream added. But once she decided to get better.... she just did.
We are not out of the woods, she has terrible dysmorphia and if eats so much as one extra snack wants to purge which is a whole new battle. But we are a million miles away from where we were in May even.

Ask away here... everyone has such great experience and sometimes you need is a hand hold.

@huuuuunnnndderrricks, welcome always seems to be the wrong word to usher someone onto a thread they'd rather not find themselves on, but it is a very supportive place to be.

14yo DD put on weight in first lockdown, freaked out and managed to lose 8kg (from a small frame) by Christmas. Diagnosed with AN by mid/end of January. Put on 3kg in about 6 weeks, which was great, and was initially very sweet and compliant. However as soon as her period came back in mid Feb, she decided she was fine and it's been a nightmare ever since. Same kg going on and off and very obstructive behaviour.

We had a shocking incident last night, that I can't bear to outline, but are starting with a private clinic on Monday. It's very expensive but we feel like we feel like we're getting nowhere with the NHS. Ironically after we'd committed to this, she got to the top of the waiting list for the intensive service with the NHS. However, it doesn't seem to come with much therapy (just a lot of meal support) and we've found out that forcing her to eat just doesn't work - she'll put on weight, then adjust, reject the forcing/bribes. I'm desperately hoping that work on her head will be more fruitful.

Thank you all, I will read the whole thread later when I get a chance .. appreciate the kindness

I never realised for many here have children the same age. Suddenly stopping their GCSEs has a lot to answer for
DD has put on a while 200g this week. She gained 3kg in 3 weeks then she's just plateaued- so frustrating as she's following the meal plan (but obv no more because it's not on the meal plan ). She's so keen for uni in a year but who knows if she'll be in the right place.
We've got our first private therapy session tonight after being told that by the time she reaches the top of the waiting list on the nhs, she'll be out of children's services and into the adult sector with even longer wait times.
She's adamant that she doesn't want any medication but on here it appears that it seems to help the weight gain?

I've just ordered two Tabitha Farrah books- thanks for the recommendation.

Oh valley that doesn't sound good re the unspeakable incident 😢 hope you're all okay. Is your dd blind weighed? That was fairly pivotal in my dd gaining weight and then not immediately losing it again.

thanks Girlfriend. We try to blind weigh but it's really difficult to do without affecting the scales themselves. I think we literally need to put a blindfold on her.

The unspeakable incident was so awful that it feels surreal so I've sort of suppressed it as I can't believe it was real.

I'll spill when I've processed...

PS DD is on Olanzapine that's gone from 2.5mg to 3.75 and now 5. It seems to make no difference whatsoever other than making her sleepy.

@Valleyofthedollymix

We had an awful incident, too, yesterday. Fortunately, it has highlighted DD1's needs with the school and they're looking to change her curriculum for year 11 as a result. It means she'll take fewer qualifications, but they'll use the time to do life skills coaching.

Hi everyone,

I was here about a month ago when I realised dd was having issues and you were all so helpful and kind. I've been lurking, but thought I would update.

After a bit of putting it off, I contacted gp who arranged bloods and did a physical exam. Some results were out of range on the liver test and her glucose is borderline. Otherwise things seem ok. So, I referred her to the local eating disorder service who have accepted it and are arranging an assessment. I spoke to a lovely nurse today from the service.

I bought the Eva M book, and have been making sure she eats at 3 meals. She is resisting snacks. She is secretly (well not that secret as I see it all on her history) exercising a lot.

She hasn't lost any more weight in the last three weeks. But I dread to think where we would be at now if I hadn't realised.

She says she is scared of getting better. The voice in her head tells her to weigh as little as possible. She doesn't know how to cope without the rules she has about food/exercise.

Hi @Mogtheanxiouscat I think your DD is having very typical thoughts. It's why these children tend to get a bit better if they're admitted, because they can tell the ED that they have no choice but to comply, etc.

I have found with DD1, that depersonalising the eating helps. So, being able to say 'the rule is...' or 'the plan says...' or 'the doctor says....' rather than it being her choice or my request.

DS is starting on Fluoxetine tomorrow - I really hope it helps!

It was suggested (by CAMHS) that he eats less at school. At the moment he won’t eat dinner because he is full from lunch at school, so they said it might be better to have six small meals throughout the day. Does that make sense?

DD has had her first proper therapy session today and I feel more positive than I have in the last month

Valley can Camhs not do the weight checks? I chucked our scales out so dd goes fortnightly for a weight check at the clinic.

It would have been hell trying to blind weigh her at home 😕

Welcome @huuuuunnnndderrricks and welcome back @Mogtheanxiouscat.

Valley gosh sorry to hear that you’ve had such a hard time. Hope you get better progress with your private route. We are here for you if you ever want to talk. 💐

Same goes for you Lougle. Btw that’s a really good tip ref depersonalising the expectation around eating. I’ve never thought of that!

NCTDN glad to hear your DD’s therapy session was positive. Remind me, did you go private?

With regards weighing, we blind weigh DD. She steps on the scales backwards. But also she’s blind as a bat without her glasses/contacts so there’s not a chance she’d be able to read the numbers. We’ve had another week of 1kg gain this morning. She is now only 1kg away from her pre ED weight.

She also got her school grade collection yesterday. She got six 9’s, three 8’s and one 7. She thought she’d screwed up her exams so it just goes to show. So so proud of her!

@Rollergirl11 that's amazing! Well done to your DD. What an achievement.

That is amazing roller what a clever girl!! My dd also passed all but one of her mocks, she's not particularly academic and didn't do very much revision so was pleased for her.

Mog remind me how old your dd is? Can you stop the exercise? Your dds thoughts are identical to my dds. It's such a weird illness that it produces such identical responses and thought processes 🤯

Hope the fluoxetine helps nelle

We had a nice evening Ystd, I tried dd with a plate of sweets for pudding. Prior to the ED dd loved sweets more than any other treats but hasn't had any since the ED started. Anyway I put a plate of sweets down, said that's your pudding and then walked away. I could see her debating whether to kick off or not but then she sighed and started eating them!!

I quickly distracted after she'd eaten them and we took the dog out for a nice walk. The evening ended with face packs and a film (Ghost town on Netflix which I'd recommend!)

A perfect end to the evening would have been an extra snack but hey ho I'll take the sweets as a win.