Teen Eating Disorders Thread 4

[SoTiredNeedHoliday]

Starting a new thread, no 3 is full

Yes I bristled when I read that too! What the hell is normal wfh fgs?! I actually worked out DS wfh the other day and he’s 85% wfh. That’s normal for HIM!

I was looking back at my older daughter’s prom pictures and she was tiny, definitely no ED but actually not dissimilar to daughter’s weight at 80% wfh. I remember her prom dress being a size 4.

I imagine DD’s natural wfh will be about 85%.

Hi all. Just witnessed my DD being fed by an NG tube. I arrived at the hospital after lunch and wheeled her to the loo. As she stood up most of her lunch fell out of her knickers. She had been supervised but ......

I called the nurses and had to physically restrain her from grabbing the food and putting in the bin.

She cried for ages and refused the meal
Replacement drink so it went down a tube. I have just helped her have a shower and she looks pitiful.

Oh boy.

@DarkBlueEyes gosh how scary for you both. My thoughts really are with you.

How is she now?

Oh Dark it is very scary but I think when it happened to us I was actually relieved that it meant DD was getting nutrition inside her. Perhaps the discomfort of the tube may mean your DD decides to comply with direct eating for her next meal?

Aww dark I'm so sorry, at least they can all see what you've been saying for weeks!

No worries valley I'm probably being defensive as well as I definitely have a sweet tooth!! A balanced diet is of course what we should all aim for.

Ahhh Dark that must be so hard for you both. Take solace in the fact that she’s in the right place now. Have they said how long they are planning to keep her in? On a lighter note your DD must have some serious ninja skills to sneak all that past the nurses supposed to be supervising! 🥴

for you all and for Dark.

DD1 actively asked for food for the first time this week today, so I think she's starting to turn a corner with her cold.

That's quite some skill dark! At least they know now what she's capable of and hopefully she won't want to be tube fed again.

dark really hope this can be the start of a change for your DD.

@DarkBlueEyes I’ve been thinking of you overnight .. how are things today?
Hoping this is the beginning of change for your daughter. X

@DarkBlueEyes that sounds so traumatic. Good on you for managing to show the nurses the food she'd hidden. Hopefully, DD knows now that she can't get away with the tricks and that the hospital will make her eat no matter what. Maybe that will be the shock that starts her eating the plan.

Gosh @Bettybarkalot123 I had missed the comment from the nurse..... Perhaps she needs to go and read some Eva Musby for a bit of a refresher in her training..... bespoke WFH target v average fits all
It makes me so annoyed that as carers we can be led down the wrong path or made to feel like we are wrong so easily. Mental health really needs a huge lift in its budget to be able to help everyone properly.

@SoTiredNeedHoliday thanks I’m going to settle down tonight and read the link you’ve shared. The worrying thing is, she is the one making decisions and recommendations about my daughters care.

Should I ask about her target weight. DD swears she’s feeling worse because of lack of school. This weekend she’s socialised and eating has become less of an issue, she’s seemed happy and with that eating has been easier… not without issue but definitely easier.

I just don’t feel I can trust this nurse. The whole tone of her email followed the same lines. She even said about DDs pulse being low (59bpm) but rushing up to the 80s when she stands. Well every check I’ve been at we’ve been told her pulse is fine.. a little low but not a real concern.

I’ve known my DD for 15 years (😉) we’re very close and I feel I know her well. And me and the whole family feel that she is worse not being in school. Yet she’s just dismissed our comments and concerns, based on arguments that aren’t even correct by the sounds of it.

Betty I know that if I had asked i would've been told dd couldn't go back to college. But I know her best so let her go (with strings attached obv). Her mental health was worse than her physical health staying at home.

Although to add, nothing physical was ever a great concern as the only symptoms were being cold and lack of periods.

@NCTDN that seems to be the same for DD.
Although she did have a breakdown on Friday.

It’s not long until half term so we’ll keep her off until at least then and review after that. If she’s over 80% wfh and her physicals are still ok I think we will make the decision to send her back for a trial, possibly part time.

Totally random question, but this thread is never at the top in my app. I always have to scroll down to find it. Is it the same for others?

Hi all. Thanks @lougle for the wine suggestion. I took that as a green light and embraced it with fervour. Feeling someone thirsty today though....

So things aren't going very well in hospital. She now has two people observing her. Quite a a bit of breakfast was spilt, and replaced, and she's still trying to eat with her hands and pull the food out of her mouth.

Lunch today was a roast chicken breast, roast potatoes and brocolli. I had the cheesy pasta which was actually quite delicious!

She was still dropping a lot of food and eating with her fingers. She didn't finish it all, and when they gave her the pudding (a bowl of yoghurt and a pretty full o ne). She started to cry and threw the spoon away and stuck her fingers in it. The time ran out so she had to have the meal replacement drink. I left at that point so that DH could come in - the ED was in full force not looking at me, flinching at my touch and telling me to go away.

Other than that, I did her nails and we had a lovely chat. But I have accepted she isn't capable of resisting the ED at the moment, keeps telling me I told her she was weak and she isn't strong (whereas she is bloody strong). I can't see her coming home after five days. She looks like she's lost even more weight.

The staff there are absolultely lovely. I took them a batch of home made muffins which probably didn't hurt either, but they are so compassionate and caring.

I had hoped this might be a catalyst but I think she's too far gone to resist the ED at this stage. Re-nourishing her brain is the only way we can get her there. I am dreading her coming home, I don't have the NG tube to use as leverage, I can just see a revolving door of refusal and back to hospital.

OTOH the CAMHS psych is apparently reviewing meds on Tuesday (when the Schoen psych was going to do it) and they are considering an anti psychotic too, one that I hadn't heard of so not haliperidol or olanzapine. I am praying to every deity I've ever heard from that it might help.

@Bettybarkalot123 I would escalate your concerns. When DD was first diagnosed she was 80.44 (those halcyon days....) and I argued her back to school. It was totally the right thing to do as when at home she just lay on her bed like a zombie. And they can't stop you anyway actually. Can you get your GP involved? At school she put on 4.5 kg over 6 weeks. Then the holidays struck and it all went Pete Tong.

@DarkBlueEyes thanks for the update. My wine consumption has definitely increased these past few months!! 🍷 Sometimes the thought of a nice cold Pinot Grigio is what gets me through the day.

Your DD sounds like she’s got all the right people looking after her. Thank goodness you’re able to share the load with your husband too.

DD went downhill massively at the start of the summer hols. She was 46kg when I first took her to the GP (28 June) with concerns that was just before the start of the summer hols, in the space of about four weeks, she dropped to 42kg.

I took her back to the GP last week and he agreed that I could argue for a return to school as “biochemically” she was fine. However he did say you could argue either way whether school was best but ultimately we knew our daughter and should listen to our instincts and also what she was telling us. He told me to ask to speak to the consultant overseeing DDs care, which I did in an email to the ED nurse. I set out all our arguments in bullet points and asked the nurse to forward it to the consultant and cc me in. She didn’t do that she just responded after about four days saying she had spoken to her “clinical lead”.

She said ultimately they were just following guidelines and making recommendations, but questioned whether school be prepared to accept her back against these medical recommendations? I asked school this question and they said yes, if we her parents felt that she was well enough to be in school then they would have her. We’re the ones that are responsible for her after all. School have been very supportive and have said they will do whatever they can to help when she’s back.

I guess I’m lacking in confidence with all of this to make that call right now, it seems scary to go against what they’re telling me. We’ll give it a little longer and see how she gets on over the next few weeks.
So glad your dd is getting the help she deserves now. X

@DarkBlueEyes it might be aripiprazole? They use that quite often with ED. Hang in there - she's finally in a safe place and you need to take some time to get your strength back.

@DarkBlueEyes at least you know that it's not just you she is fighting and the hospital will now know what you've been going through. DD was totally compliant and it was still a 10 day stay so don't worry that they'll send her home soon. Rest and recover while you have chance.

Yes, DD1 basically said 'bring it on' when she's realised that eating=home, but we were still in 9 days.

Yes @DarkBlueEyes as others have said thank heavens now again least the medical team can see what you have been battling with at home. And I suppose it’s better late than never for CAMH’s to finally pull their finger from out their arse. Honestly, they are completely useless over at Epsom.

Just out of interest which hospital did you go to? Back to Epsom or a different one? I’m sure the nurses would have loved home-made muffins. I think you’re right that she won’t be fit fit discharge just yet but take this time for you. If you ever want to meet for a coffee I’m just up the road from you and around during the day. xx