Teen Eating Disorders Thread 4

[SoTiredNeedHoliday]

Starting a new thread, no 3 is full

NC she's above her pre ED weight, pre ED she was around 8.7 stone but a good two inches shorter. Now she's around 9.3 stone She's always been around the 75th centile so theoretically needs to go above 100% wfh anyway. At her lightest she was just under 8 stone and was really unwell (physically and mentally) at that weight.

It is interesting how everyone's 'normal and healthy' weight can vary so much. I imagine dd needs to be around 9.7stone which was where my weight sat for much of my adult life.

We're all quite a broad, tall, athletic type shape in my family. Although my athletic shape days are sadly over at the moment 😬🙈 I have signed up for a yoga class on my days off now dd is back at school in the hope I can tone up a little bit!! Debating trying running again as well, pre dd becoming ill I used to run a little bit (not far, could manage 3k and was planning on working towards 5k.)

Re breakfast double cream was our saviour here as it meant dd still got a decent amount of calories from a fairly moderate sized amount of porridge. There's no way she'd of coped with cereal, toast and fruit! She would have been in full on melt down mode faced with that amount.

A bowl of porridge made with double cream and a small amount of ff milk works out around 700 cals. It might be worth comparing that to the cereal, toast, fruit combo as I reckon it wouldn't be that much difference calorie wise. You can add extra cals to the porridge if they'll have fruit or seeds with it, I think someone on the fb page got a bowl of porridge to 1000 calories!!

I'm usually ready with a black Sharpie when the online shop arrives to conceal all the calories on packaging! Its a strange world isn't it.....

@Girliefriendlikespuppies fantastic news. We are just at 100% too and still rigid on a meal plan, no choices at all so sounds like you are doing better than us. DD still has to be watched or would hide food but mental well-being is getting better and better every day. Although saying that the evil ED monster did resurface this morning over breakfast, but quickly disappeared!

I found this study from Dr Sarah Ravin with average times between Weight Restore and different milestones. Median from WR to normalisation of mood is 3 months.

Recovery Timeline

Same here with breakfast, DD couldn't eat too many items so one item had to pack a punch. Never would have eaten multiple pieces of toast!

Like Girlfriend we also went for porridge with double cream (hidden!), and a smoothie. Or scrambled eggs on toast made with cream. She asked for cereal every day but I didn't allow it as it wouldn't be enough cals, especially as she doesn't finish the milk.

Glad I’m not alone on the toast issue. My instinct as a mum says what’s she’s having is good enough. I can’t force feed her toast. Chia seeds are good too, she likes them and I think there’s roughly 70 cals in a tbsp.

This morning she has her usually weetabix, banana combo, plus a banana and seeds all in one bowl and a small scotch pancake with jam. I feel that’s a really healthy and substantial breakfast for her. If I add more it ruins her whole day of eating she tries harder to restrict throughout the rest of day so it’s counter productive.

So dd fainted this morning, heard a bang and found her on the floor in the bathroom. She hit her eye on the sink on the way down.

Have checked her bp, lying down it's 110/60 standing it's 90/60 pulse jumps from 60 bpm to 88 bpm lying to standing.

Not sure what's going on, she's a decent weight and is eating okay.... why is her body still struggling?

Will speak to her Dr on Monday, she seems fine now.

Oh that's worrying @Girliefriendlikespuppies. She's eating well but is she drinking well? Orthostatic hypotension (the blood pressure drop and pulse jump from sitting to standing) is always worse if you're not well hydrated.

Hi all

Just checking in to say DD has lost again this week - i seem to be the outlier here, not a little envious of your DDs who are actually eating. She went back to school and her mood was 100% improved and actually her eating improved too (marginally) but I guess that extra activity (no PE) made the difference - onlyy 200g I suppose it could have been worse.

I think she's now borderline for school attendance and that will be catastrophic - nothing to get up for, no deadlines to make her eat, so I will be doing everything I can to keep her at school.

Schoen clinic on Wednesday then CAMHS have asked for obs on Thursday, even though we are not under their care. We just cannot get her to eat enough, with all the throwing and smearing and the anxiety/nausea, hysterics etc. I just cannot make her eat.

I have decided that I am not going to let the ED take me down too and I feel in a better place mentally (possibly the sertraline kicking in as I've upped the dose) and have accepted she may die. I've accepted she'll end up in hospital, I've accepted she won't get to do her GCSEs and that she'll lose all her friends, and that there may not be a positive outcome for us, as she is now so entrenched and ingrained.

Doesn't mean I'm not going to try, I just have to be at peace with it or it will destroy me.

I'm going to beg for meds from the psychiatrist on Wednesday, something has to change and I can't see what else can change. CAMHS absolutely refuses to entertain it, even though they prescribed for others at this clinic and my GP is supportive. I told them straight that a prescription will be cheaper for the NHS than a hospital admission.....

I'm reading what your DDs have for breakfast and not a chance in this house. Today we managed the following...

I pot of yoghurt with double cream mixed in - probably ate around 70% of it with all the smearing, spilling etc

Juice, three grapes and 90% of a nutella B bar

Scrambled eggs (3), with cream and butter, 2 pieces of toast with butter, about 90% eaten, juice 75%

Chocolate milk made with ensure and galaxy chocolate

Dinner will be salmon with dauphinoise and veg, pudding will be a little apple tart with greek yoghurt

evening snack will be a hot chocolate and a biscuit

If she ate it all I think we'd have enough calories (I have no clue how much today would be) but she disposes of a significant amount then shuts her mouth and goes zombie. Tries to reach for the drink then withdraws her hand, I had to feed her at lunchtime as she couldn't do it....

I really do feel I'm failing her but I have also accepted that she has to want to get better and she just doesn't.

Thanks for reading, I feel better for writing it all down.

Thanks Lougle I have been pushing fluids today.

Dark that doesn't sound like a bad amount of food, don't be hard on yourself. The not wanting to get better is an unfortunate symptom of the illness, you have to remember that deep down your dd does want to recover it's just the illness holding a gun to her head.

Oh @DarkBlueEyes, so sorry you are struggling and I feel really bad for posting about big breakfasts now! Honest to god we started where you are - some days I gave up hope of DD ever eating again yet alone 2500 cals - that was an impossible dream! The food you described sounds pretty darn amazing given where you are in the process, really you are doing an incredible job and your DD is so lucky to have you fighting for her. They really can't help themselves at this stage.

@DarkBlueEyes I’m sorry your daughter is struggling. My DD doesn’t always eat much and meals end in tears most of the time. I cry all the time.

My DD is torn, half her wants to get better but the anorexia is fighting and desperately trying to maintain control.

You’re doing the absolute best you can and hold on to the belief that one day she will thank you for not giving up and for making her eat. What helps me is taking it one day at a time. Don’t look to the future, no one knows what that holds so whatever we imagine are just stories.

Do you have support at home? I’m going into the office on Monday and leaving DD and her dad to look after each other. I can’t wait for the break.

Also, I think what she’s eating sounds pretty good. You sound as though you’re doing really well.
My DD is very restrictive.

Well I've well and truly decked up now. Refusesd to eat her potatoes and I said " if you want to starve yourself to death that's fine but it won't be in my watch". Obviously it wouldn't be fine and it came out wrong but WWIII has just broken out and although I r apologised and tried to explain, dinner has been abandoned and she's not speaking to me. So there we have it. Parent of tht year and what a waste of a day that was ok food wise.

@DarkBlueEyes honestly you are parent of the year, we all are for putting up with this shit on a daily basis and keeping going. It's more than anyone should have to bear. I've said some awful things to DD when I couldn't take it anymore - much worse than your comment. The beastly thing drives us to it. Draw a line today and start planning the next bite. That's all any of us can do.

Dark I've said similar to my dd and didn't apologise for it! I think the stress and pressure makes us say things that we wouldn't otherwise dream of saying. Dd was sucking her stomach in to make her ribs protrude and I said 'that looks gross' which she obviously took completely the wrong way and it was definitely a thought that should have stayed in my head rather than come out my mouth 😩

You have to be kind to yourself, being a carer for a teen with an ED is the absolute pits. I can't think of any other illness where you have you have to force the medicine (food) in to someone who is in complete denial there's anything wrong with them!!

We've gone wrong giving her some choice and I was going to do porridge tomorrow. But no. Only she can make nice porridge apparently. There's no point in me making it as she won't eat it (wouldn't have done pre ED either). Sneakily high calorie breakfast ideas please? She won't eat peanut butter at all.

Granola with FF / Greek yoghurt, honey and berries? Ton of cals in granola.

Various things on toast with lots of butter hidden on the toast, scrambled egg, avocado etc. Even things like fried mushrooms, whilst lowish calorie, can really soak up a load of oil/butter. Others prob have better ideas but these things have worked for us.

She was having granola but now it's a no no. And scrapes off and squeezes out butter. Lord it's hard.

@DarkBlueEyes I'm so sorry you're finding this so tough- we've all been there to some extent though. I think if I were you I'd still be pushing for hospital. If nothing else it will give you a break. If she's losing weight each week you've got grounds to do that

@DarkBlueEyes I'm sorry it's so hard right now, believe in yourself, you are doing the best you can and your DD isn't herself at the moment. What's her WFH% now?

Does DD really like school? We found there had to be a carrot for our DD to eat, one of which was that I'd pull her out of school and she'd need to repeat if she didn't eat. Drastic I know but as we all know AN creates drastic situations.

Of what you wrote for the meals that day above how much did she eat?

When telling the healthcare professionals I'd tell them what she actually ate, rather than what was offered. Definately go to the CAMHs after the Schoen as if CAMHs have you on their books it will be easier if DD needs hospital. I would not mention the Schoen to CAMHs, CAMHs will not help if private is involved (generally).

Don't be afraid to ask to speak to the psychiatrist alone at Schoen if you don't want to be 'frank' in front of DD in case you embarrass her etc.

Oh and we've all said things we regret, it is natural you're facing the most difficult stress. You will get through this and so will DD.

Does anyone have a suggestion for a recipe that uses coconut milk that's not spicy? DD would not eat a curry in a million years. I'm
Getting desperate for meal suggestions as she is further and further restricting what she'll eat. Also can someone tell me what the Facebook group is please?

My falafel curry was off the Sainsbury’s website and its very mild.
Basically it is. Fry one onion, garlic, ginger, add a tablespoon of curry power, passata and then the coconut milk and a tablespoon of sugar. Meanwhile cook the falafel in the oven, add them to the curry sauce along with loads of spinach..
Was very delicious and you can make it as mild or as spicy as your dd likes.

DD loves a Buddha Bowl too, she has loads of spinach, sweet corn, grated carrots, Moroccan spiced couscous, falafel, hummus, roasted peppers … basically anything we have in the fridge. She loves it and it seems to be a safe meal for her.
Hope that helps x

The fb group is EDSUK, I'm still on there as feel like I can offer advice to newbies and it's useful for the odd thing you guys can't help me with 🤣

My dd likes a very mild lentil dahl, fry an onion and garlic in oil or butter, add teaspoon of curry powder, add lentils and cover with water. Stir lots until it's soft and the water is soaked up. You could add double cream but dd insists on making this dahl herself so I've not tried that yet!

Hi all, hopefully, an ok start to the morning in your households. I've got a question for you. It's not related to my DD exactly.
DD has just gone back to school having missed all last term, she's WR and is doing pretty well. She really wants to recover.

We've hit a 'bump' though, a new girl has come to school in DD's sets etc and the new girl has told DD that she's bulimic... I don't think school have been advised officially but am not sure, as she's new I don't know the family or the girl.

Anyway, the ED voice is like a moth to the flame and DD wants to 'help' this girl, but clearly, it's really triggering. DD never had bulimia so I have no knowledge of that illness.
I've advised DD she needs to focus on her recovery, every journey is different.

Anyway does anyone have experience of bulimia in school? How does school manage it?
Also, does anyone have recommendations on keeping DD from focusing on this poorly girl?