Becoming food obsessed

[Star8181]

I feel like a fraud here but need some advice so I hope that okay...I need to share to get some thoughts.
I feel like I’m really obsessed with food these days, food thoughts preoccupies my head much of the day. I’ve been restricting my intake, especially during work as I find it really easy to go without and I have become completely unable to eat in front of people, but I will have some food in the evening when I’m home. I don’t even know why I’m doing it, just that a little part of me gets a buzz from being able to ignore the hunger, which I realise is wrong. I’ve been lying to my family about what I’m eating to cover up which I hate. I’m exercising as much as I can as I love the feel of burning off calories and I’m also weighing myself a lot.

I can feel this could get much worse and I desperately want to stop these thoughts but I don’t have an eating disorder (yet) so I don’t think the GP could help me. But I need someone to help me get back on track or someone to talk to, I think? Feeling quite down at the moment

Hey @Star8181 and @needtowalkmore how are you both?

I think I’m doing quite well! Just got back from holiday which I would have found so challenging previously. This year was much better. I at quite a few not-safe foods and often at in groups (which I still find hard) and late at night (which I also still find hard). But I managed to put my feelings aside and enjoy the trip.

I’m maintaining a healthy weight and I do feel so much healthier (not so cold and tired all the time). I wouldn’t say I have a fully healthy relationship with food - I still obsess over it a lot at times and I much prefer my routine/safe foods, and I still struggle sometimes with being a “healthy” weight, but overall I feel so much better than before.

wishing you both well too!