Binge Eating Disorder Support

[FightingBed2014]

This is our second thread, helping each other through the ups and downs we experience with binge eating. The original thread can be found here
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/new_blog_posts/2029166-Eating-Disorder-Recovery

This is open to anyone, no mater how good or bad things are for you. We are all here for support and help to recover from our disordered eating. Talking about how we feel has been the first step to recovery for us. There is hope and life without it.

I blog about my recovery as I go through each new experience, if you want to have a read it's here

ellechapmanblog.wordpress.com

Hello, can I join too?

I'm similar to you sleepingdragon in that I'm breastfeeding my 11 month old and feel guilty about the stuff I'm eating. (We give him a very healthy diet directly though now he's on solids)

Today was ridiculous, I just ate and ate and spent money unnecessarily on extra food I didn't need. Sigh. Have had food issues since around 10-11 years old but never considered it binge eating until my friend mentioned that she had that problem and it just clicked.

Planning to go to my first OA meeting this week (just gave up weightwatchers) but thought maybe this thread might help me process my experiences dealing with the issue...

Recovering your increased awareness is a great step forward, particularly observing when you had eaten enough - even though you continued eating. Doing that doesn't make you a failure in any way, it most likely is a simple case of being human, it's difficult to stop eating things like sour cream etc with such a highly pleasurable taste and texture when they stay sat in front of you, even when you know you have eaten 'enough'.

I think it's a great sign that you identified the point when you had eaten enough to be honest, many people can't recognise this easily at all. For now, be pleased that you are recognising satiety, it's the first step to stopping at that point (remember that anyone who likes food won't manage to do that 100% of the time though !) This is a practice, relax and notice everything, be curious.

On the cooking front, what would you advise a close friend in your situation wrt cooking? What would you describe as a 'simple meal'? I suspect you've answered the question yourself, perhaps there is a middle ground where you can prepare an easy meal but use the occasional jar of sauce or other 'cheats' that may not be as great nutritionally as your first choice but are better than skipping cooking altogether and eating rubbish . It doesn't have to be all or nothing, nobody's diet is perfect.

Hi everyone. Welcome to the thread Dragon.

I've caught up with all the posts. The thread moves very fast, so often I can read but haven't time to reply.

Bit late to get into much now. As with my last nlog post I'm trying to look at progression with losing weight. This is a new challenge for me, not just because of BED but because I have only ever looked for quick fixes and instant rapid loss. That isn't an option now. It will be re-educating myself. sleep do you have any recommendations for books to help? Basically I have to learn to eat properly without using my go to 'diet foods'. So my only goal is health, hopefully the side effect is weight loss.

Welcome Violet. I hope OA helps you too. The first steps are always the hardest and you have taken some already.x

Recovering I totally get where you are coming from, I do it too.

Violetbean good luck with OA, I've been to three meetings now.

Welcome dragon.

Sleepwhenidie don't worry you don't need to analyse me yet! Books are great for other people but I a bit of a book phobic! My friend recommended the You can be thin prgramme

I have got the IA 12 steps books and have managed two chapters today so far. This is very fast work for me!

Thanks for your thoughts Sleepwhenidie.

Sorry!

I have got the OA 12 steps book...

Crap food day again. Back to out of hours and had another two nebulisers. ARGH!

Great to see so many people on this thread. I have been on similar threads and they tend to go quiet...

I would echo what sleep says (based on my own experience and learning from this thread) it is not about the food. I eat to swallow my feelings, to feel better about myself and to 'zone out' from the noise of all my thoughts.

A lot of us on here have issues with our childhoods/families which seemed to be linked.

I struggle with the idea of giving up on 'becoming thinner', but if I take the past year as an eg, all that time I spent thinking I should be thinner/on a diet etc didn't actually amount to any weight loss. So I figure, that I might as well give not restricting/trying to reset my eating a go.

The fact I binge really upsets and disgusts me in equal measure, so if I could reduce it a lot/remove it then it should make me happier.

I have mentioned the TED Talk I am very in love with up thread a couple of times . I like a lot of what she said, but she also shared a chart which showed if you carry out 4 healthy habits (the numbers along the bottom being the number of healthy habits people adopt) your risk of dying is the same whether you are normal weight, overweight or obese.

So being overweight isn't the automatic death sense the Daily Fail et al would have you believe. For me this helps me get my head around accepting me for who I am now and not the fantasy thinner, happier, more popular blah blah person I could be.

Big unMNtty hugs to us all. Let's hope the coming week is a kind one.

Where do I start? What sort of meals are people preparing.

I like the idea of becoming kinder to my body/thinking of food as nourishing etc. I'm going to start to try some exercise. But I am so scared of failing. It feels like everything I have tried over the last few years haven't worked...

I kind of dont know where to start. I kind of usually make a blanket rule like "no more "bad" food" then it doesnt last, and I see I should be letting go of absolutes... but I only know "all or nothing" I don't have any guide/example for moderation... like I kind of need some idea of where to start... if that makes sense? Especially with food!

Really appreciating the thread and reading back on the thread. So much I can relate to! It's great to not feel like its just some odd thing in my head.

Just start going for walks Recovering, rather than looking at it as 'exercise' try and view it as time for yourself, for relaxation and headspace (turn your phone off or leave it behind). Just do a couple of weeks of that, as often as you can (even if it is just 20 minutes at lunchtime), see what effect it has .

With food, how about starting just with breakfast, tell me all the things you like and what you usually have...

Hi Sleep.

Today I had porridge (quite usual, kids like it too).

For lunch I had toast with brie, carrot soup and a satsuma....I weighed the brie to find a "portion" but then when toddler asked for another slice of toast I made another toast and brie for myself - even though I knew I was doing it. And then ate a packet of crisps. It started off so good so why do I just keep going?!? :(

It's going OK today so far. I had muesli with oatly for breakfast and some fruit... Then for lunch had 2 Warburtons gluten free thins, 2 poached eggs, a small tin of baked beans and a handful of cherry tomatoes. Have also had about 4 large glasses of diluted ribena. My next one is going to be just water. This afternoon I plan to snack on some grapes, then for dinner DH will cook a peanut satay chicken stir fry and then I'll have a sugar-free jelly for dessert. Hope to keep to the plan, if I do it'll be the first day in a month or so that I haven't binged on sweets/chocolate...

Hi Margo, your right it is lovely to see the thread still going and growing all the time. I think at last count there are 14 of us now! That's a lot of us now speaking up and looking to change something that (for most of us) has been ruling us for most of our lives. A huge positive that we should all be proud of!

Recovering I know what you mean, when you say you don't know where to start. It's a complete unknown and very specific to each of us. For me I tried various things and they gradually added up to moving forward. The main thing for me was food wasn't one of them. I worked on the stages in Overcoming Binge Eating. Learnt to monitor myself, find things I could do i previously assumed i couldnt and I went through my emotional struggles. You have to find your pieces to the puzzle.

Only now, a year on from when I hit my lowest ever point, am I tackling changing what I eat. It took from November to January for me to start it properly. Hopefully by sharing the next phase in my journey will help you all too. I expect it will be another year of exploring and challenges.x

What about picking something you want to try and explore that? I can't stress how much writing helped me. It's not for everyone but it was an avenue to release emotions. That is a must I think. We all seem to hide our feelings and often don't even know what they are. We have to learn how to deal with them.

Violet your day sounds positive. I hope the evening is a good one too.x

I am not a binge eater but a grazer. So I feel like a bit of a fraud on here as I am not sure what a real binge is. For me the most ever is about 4 bags of crisps at a time, but it is normally just two followed by a bar of chocolate or a few biscuits. It is my inability to stay away from eating that is the problem. I no longer see it as a problem with 'food' as such. I am sure I would eat cardboard if I had to. It is the sensation of eating. In fact I enjoy rice cakes and those Ryvita slices that my friends call tree bark!

I am thinking of starting a mumsnet thread on OA for anyone who is doing it, has done it. But for now I would like to get all the support I can just by reading other people's posts too.

I got back in touch with a counsellor today, who I was seeing through work (she is a volunteer so it is free, I know I am very lucky as I would not be able to afford one any other way really). It was so helpful to hear she has theories and ideas about why I overeat but it is so ingrained now it will take a lot to get back to normal eating so I will stick with OA as it is helpful to me.

How has everyone been today? Today was OK for me, nothing too major, managed to stop myself eating a most disgusting 'milk' flavoured Barney Bear cake and also managed to not polish off the bits of my kids lunch they did not want! But have been munching my way through a few things when I see them!

Italian I think the majority of us share the same traits. We don't always 'binge' as such but frequently eat over what we require. I have very rarely had what would be considered the stereo typical binge, eating masses. In fact what one of us may class as a binge, to another may be a snack. It's very individual and down to how we each feel about our own eating.
It's good your looking at different avenues to tackle your situation. Counselling sounds like a positive approach. You're definitely not a fraud, the thread title could just as easily be Overeating Support. None of us are identical in our descriptions but we share many similar approaches, thought processes and difficulties.x

Thanks Fighting I guess maybe I want to be a 'fraud' in that I don't really have a problem, but I know I do! . My first OA meeting I sat there thinking this is not me, but it really was me!

My counsellor is super great and I am so grateful she will continue to see me. We ad six sessions a while back but life got in the way and we are starting appointments again.

Fighting in answer to your book request, I'd suggest 'The Slow Down Diet' by Marc David (my very wise tutor). Let me know what you think of it

Italian, so pleased to hear about your counselling

Recovering, who gets to decide what a 'portion' is . Were you hungry for more food at the point you made yourself a second helping of cheese and toast? And when you ate the crisps? Next meal, eat as slowly as you can, really taste and enjoy and pause regularly to assess your hunger levels until you feel ready to stop eating (this might be way after you felt satisfied). It's part of the process of recognising and stopping that mental 'checking out' we've touched on previously. If you are aware you are eating past the point of satiety, rather than just thinking you've 'failed' (you haven't) can you think about why that might be? What are you thinking and feeling?

Oh and going to your question about guidance on what food you 'should' be eating, can you add some fat and protein to your breakfast? Raw nuts, or some nut butter perhaps? What other breakfast do you have?

I'd also second what Fighting said about writing, it is an excellent form of therapy. Alternatively, or as well, think about what creative things you enjoy, music, dance, art, photography...long list of possibilities.

Fighting - thanks for your reply, and for letting me join you - its so encouraging to hear someone whose already ahead in the journey!

Italian - I spent ages thinking "this isnt me"... but it really is. It took a while for it to dawn on me (about a year ago).

Very little food today am going to eat in a bit