Binge Eating Disorder Support

[FightingBed2014]

This is our second thread, helping each other through the ups and downs we experience with binge eating. The original thread can be found here
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/new_blog_posts/2029166-Eating-Disorder-Recovery

This is open to anyone, no mater how good or bad things are for you. We are all here for support and help to recover from our disordered eating. Talking about how we feel has been the first step to recovery for us. There is hope and life without it.

I blog about my recovery as I go through each new experience, if you want to have a read it's here

ellechapmanblog.wordpress.com

It's just a nice lazy tea that you can shove more veg in (I use sweetcorn sometimes)
Sleep - you might be right about the carbs. I don't know, I go from no carbs to all the cake and back again!

Good article touching on the importance of mindful eating and not dieting...

And as you say Violet, mindfulness generally can be hugely beneficial

goodas sounds like there's maybe some middle ground you could settle on

How did you guess I'm all or nothing?!
The counsellor always says I'm really hard on myself, and I also need to just sit and "be" sometimes

I cracked today and binged. I don't feel guilty like I would have before but I'm definitely feeling low.

It's a small moment in time fighting. Glad you are not feeling guilty and hope you feel a bit happier soon.

Yeah, wierdly I'm not panicking that its all unravelled. I guess its just a reminder that I'm getting better but not recovered. Hopefully now I'm back on meds, things will become a little easier. On the bright side I stopped myself from eating some of it and I absolutely know why I did it. Tomorrow is another day....

That's a great attitude fighting. Tomorrow can be a fresh new start for you.

Today I just about managed to stick with the plan. Haven't even had all the snacks yet, but when I get home I plan to have a yogurt.

So nice to have the support on this thread. Thanks all!

Tomorrow's plan: muesli & fruit; pasta for lunch; no bread burrito for dinner; hot choc; grapes; slice of cake.

I've taken Sleeps advice and chucked some seeded bread and rye bread in my online shop
Plans for the week are
Breakfast - toast and peanut butter or eggs or yoghurt and berries
Lunches- quinoa and salad plus feta or ham or tuna
Tea is sort of lunch owing to shifts so I will have my usual blended shake snack!

Fighting tomorrow is another day, as you say. Well done for stopping. Thinking of you.

Today was good, pretty much. Had the chance to eat some of ds's crisp type things, he was trying to give them to me! I managed to dodge. Really pleased because that is my real weakness!

Nice to see more progress, even with a slight blip fighting. Hope today is better for you.

Good I am v hard on myself and I am completely all or nothing too. It is hard.

In case you haven't seen....there is another thread in Eating Disorders which talks about the 'Recovery Record' app. I downloaded it last night. Is a way to record food (but not count calories) and feelings. Am starting to use it, seems ok on a first glance.

It has made me think about listening to my instinct. Through this thread I have come to realise that some of my pushing down feelings is to do with not listening to myself. Twice since last night I went against my instinct and I am now worrying about something and have sore feet!

Hope you all have a good day.

Fighting - you of all people know that this process isn't linear . It's a sign of your progress that you didn't freak out or feel hopeless after the binge. Do you know what caused it?

Purple - job sounds good - hours clashing with DH's time off not so much . Hope it gets sorted.

Rosey yes, I do believe you can relearn coping mechanisms. I also think some one to one work would be good for you. The people who have lost a great deal of weight and kept it off don't often have more willpower than anyone else, but there will typically have been some kind of shift elsewhere in their lives, on an emotional/stress/fulfilment type level. Can you tell us some more about yourself?

goodas - perhaps building in something you would normally try not to eat into your day (like Violet) would be a good thing to try too - you don't have to eat it, but give yourself the choice. If you do decide you want it, then relax and enjoy - no guilt or regret. I wonder if you are getting enough calories generally though, when you exercise so much particularly. If this is the case then it could be contributing to the binges. See how you go with the slightly higher level of carbs. I also think relaxing is a very big thing with you. Stress (including and especially) stress around food will impede your metabolism and digestion. No matter how 'perfect' your diet your body will be digesting less efficiently than it can and producing cortisol, which prompts your body to store fat and dump muscle. Mindfulness, relaxation and slow eating will all help.

MrsMargoLeadbetter Sometimes we are encouraged to push our own needs down, this is very common (IMHO) for women. As a Christian (I am one, again, IMHO) I also feel we are always encouraged to put others first. Getting the balance right is making sure we care for others needs, because always thinking of self is not helpful or even possible for most of us. But also making sure we listen to our own needs, and to our thoughts and desire. If you want to share what happened we could talk about it, sometimes it helps to think how you could say or do things differently. I will give an example if you like, or not!

Trying not to be too nosy, ignore me if you like! (PS I have been there so many times, making myself late for counselling sessions so I could sweep the floor of the toddlers' group! For me it is a self sabotage thing!)

Sleepwhenidie can you say a bit more about re-learning coping mechanisms, please?

And Rosie I so agree with Sleepwhenidie it is not about more will power, how can one ever measure will power. One person has no desire to eat a cake and doesn't eat it, another desperately wants to eat a cake and manages not to eat it all day and then just before bed succumbs to the desire and eats it!

Clearly the person with more will power is the person who wanted it and managed to defer eating it for hours! I think the real questions is why do those who overeat or binge feel the need to eat too much food/inappropriate for at inappropriate times/hide wrappers/eat when not hungry or eat when we don;t enjoy it etc etc (insert whatever thing it is that anyone does!

Doing well. Managing not to drink so much tea and coffee. Realises I was drinking it automatically! Bought a latte and left the last bit. I never ever do that normally.

Waiting for the honeymoon to end!

Hi MrsM, sorry, I didn't see your post when I posted earlier . Great that you are learning that trusting your instincts is the best way - remember how we discussed how being true to yourself is not only usually the right thing to do but it also directly impacts positively upon your self esteem . I'm intrigued by the sore feet !

Italian - there are lots of different 'threads' that knit together to aid recovery, but when you can learn to relax and observe yourself a bit when you want to eat, you can come to recognise what it is you are feeling/looking to do with food (when it's not true physical hunger). It may be you are bored, sad, angry, happy, afraid to say what you want to to someone....so these things need a different response from your habitual one of eating to distract yourself, punish yourself, to provide what is missing, to try and find comfort, to squash down the difficult words or emotions. You may find relief from calling a friend, writing down what you feel or want to say (if you really can't say it for whatever reason), walk or run for 20 minutes, take a bath, do your nails, play with the kids.....occasionally food is the comfort you need and that is ok but it's good to try and develop other things that work for you because when it is the only thing you use, food actually loses that power to comfort and works against you . Part of this involves wanting to learn too though and that comes back to the self esteem aspect, of wanting to take care of yourself appropriately.

Italian can I ask what thought process is going on with you leaving a bit of food, drinking less tea and coffee etc? Would you say it is a challenge or do you feel like you are making the choice each time?

On the subject of putting everyone else's needs before your own, a great quote...

“Psychic self-injury is neither heroic nor practical. You cannot say that you have mastered love until you include yourself in its embrace. If you make everyone in your life happy but yourself, you have missed the point of living and loving. Self-honoring is the beginning of true service. When you practice self-nurturing, others around you will catch the energy and you will create a wave of well-being that far supersedes the illusory benefits of self-sacrifice.
Do not do anything to yourself that you would not wish on anyone else. Instead, do everything for yourself that you would do to make others happy ... and the world will be a happier place for everyone.”
~ Alan Cohen ~ A Daily dose of Sanity

Thanks Sleep a brilliant long list of ideas to use. Great.

Sleep it feels totally normal to leave food or drink once I realise I do not really want it. To go on and drink cold coffee or eat a small peice of cold toast feels actually unnatural! Where as before it was the most natural thing in the world! I can almost not believe it.

Today, for example I ate my toast as a sandwich (peanut butter) as I rushed my kids (aged 10 and 4) to school. Just as i reached that 'I feel full and am not enjoying this' moment I was walking past a bin! I too one small bite and tossed the crust in the bin. I didn't need the final bite, I know that, and I guess I am delighted I know.

With the coffee again, there was about a quarter of a cup (medium sized Costa Coffee type cup) and I was struggling to drink it all. I just realised I didn't want it. I felt guilty handing in my cup to the toddler counter, they would have to empty it before binning it. For a brief moment I felt guilty I had inconvenienced them! But it passed and I felt proud I had realised that I was drinking something I did not want.

The cut of tea, well, I just see the kettle and click the switch, day or not, and I was about to, and I thought actually I don't want a cuppa.

Yesterday ds offered me his crisp snacks, I LOVE them, Onion rings. I knew I could eat one or two no worries just to be nice to him, but I didn't want to smell of onions and I didn't need' them so I said 'No darling you have them to yourself.'

I've had this before for brief times, but it goes, my desire is for it to stay and for me to listen to my body and to tune in to what I really need so your list is *really helpful, thanks .

As well as OA I am also seeing a counsellor and I hope this will help. My overeating is a feature of OCD (I am sure) and if the overeating goes I do not want another compulsive habit to form!

Thanks for listening Sleep.

Correction "Sleep it feels totally normal to leave food or drink once I realise I do not really want it now' a few weeks ago it was impossible for me!

"well, I just see the kettle and click the switch, day or NIGHT"

Sorry TYPOS!

Thanks Italian. You aren't being nosy, I appreciate the interest (of you and everyone on here).

First thing was a finding out a friend's (A) good news via another friend. (B). I congratulated A directly. My instinct is she won't like that, but I did it anyway. She hasn't replied. I am thinking all sorts...

Other is that I damaged my lower back having DD which resulted in foot probs. So I haven't worn heels much. So running late today I decided to wear high boots, so I could get use to it. This was depsite the fact I could see my flats by the door and part of me was thinking "wear them".

I changed into my flats at the train station and have lugged by boots around since. I was going into the City, so part of it was wanting to fit in with all the other heel wearers.

Small egs, but they are the stuff of binges... Not literally but you get my point.

Will come back on other posts.

Mixed day bloods back ok but retest needed next month and ECG tomorrow
Food - um, had weetabix and rice milk at 1pm (long lie in!!!) and nothing since
Rode horse who was incredible, starting to feel more human again now
Next week is my last session of counselling, I know I am becoming more "I am important" as someone commented this week I was snappy - not snappy, just putting me first!
Happily dancing around the kitchen while tidying, and looking forward to getting back to the gym