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Donor conception

For anyone with experience of sperm or egg donation to share support and advice. Please remember this board isn’t for debate about donor conception.

Original poster

Donor Egg for 2nd child

138 replies

aaaarti · 24/04/2023 20:52

Hi all - I have a 4 year old daughter but after 2 miscarriages, I found out I have POI. So now after 3 failed IVF cycles, we are looking into donor eggs. Just wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation as I'd love to have a chat! X

OP posts:
PP890 · 15/12/2023 14:50

If you have a WhatsApp group please I would like to be included into the group
thanks

user1473271491 · 16/12/2023 17:24

Hi did you do donor egg ?

user1473271491 · 16/12/2023 17:26

Hi did you try donor eggs
i followed your story similar to mine

user1473271491 · 16/12/2023 17:26

Hi did you do donor egg

Emzyapp91 · 17/12/2023 00:14

Hiya,

I really hope you don't mind me messaging. I just found out I have POI and been looking in to this. I already have one child to whos coming up to 3 and I just feel anxious about if it would affect her or the child would.
Do you know if you get support with things like that? There is just so much I worry about but our family just feels incomplete.

How are you getting on with it all?

user1473271491 · 17/12/2023 06:16

I understand as i have been in this situation for soo long

Original poster
aaaarti · 17/12/2023 09:18

Hi @user1473271491 and @Emzyapp91
I found my donor eggs but unfortunately my first round ended in a miscarriage. Hoping to start my next round in Feb.
I completely understand the feeling of am incomplete family, my daughter turns 5 in a few weeks and we have been in this rut for 3 years now!

OP posts:
user1473271491 · 17/12/2023 09:32

Been in this situation for many years
tried stem cells prp etc
I am nervous about donor although found one ..
I worry about the ethics …for the child…

Original poster
aaaarti · 17/12/2023 09:51

@user1473271491 I know it's not something they recommend but if this does work for us we would not be telling the child that they are donor egg conceived. We have not even told our family we are going down this road. It's just something me and my husband believe that we wouldn't want to keep reminding them and make them feel them excluded.

OP posts:
user1473271491 · 17/12/2023 13:16

sorry about the miscarriage must have been soo difficult

I see both sides and felt this way many years ago being same background I really understand
But I don’t feel it’s fair to hide the routes of a human … which we all
as humans have a right to know…

user1473271491 · 17/12/2023 15:53

It’s very tough
I am debating whether to do it myself …
it’s r difficult

user1473271491 · 17/12/2023 15:55

I am also anxious about the same

Lola245 · 17/12/2023 19:29

@aaaarti I'm so sorry to hear that your first round ended in a miscarriage... That must be incredibly tough. This is a such a long road... But I'm sure the next one will work out -- there is every likelihood it will. Hope you can take some time to relax over the holidays.

We're hopefully moving forward with treatment in Feb/March, and we've decided to pay for PGT testing which I know they don't recommend per se for donor eggs because it's expensive, but I've just had so many miscarriages I'd like to do it.

For the new people: I'm also in the same boat, my son just turned 4. @Emzyapp91 so sorry to hear you've found out that you have POI - that must be a real shock. how old are you?

user1473271491 · 18/12/2023 04:36

It’s really hard to be in this situation can I ask when you had the transfer for donor egg did it feel the same as own egg preg before miscarriage thanks

user1473271491 · 18/12/2023 09:52

Can I ask how the about the emotions during egg donation transfer vs own preg

There is a new stem cells treatment at Crete Fertility. Also there are options with stem cells prp for younger women with POI. I have tried a few and there was some benefit but the younger the better.

Original poster
aaaarti · 18/12/2023 17:27

@Lola245 we looked into that testing too but financially at the moment it's rather difficult for us.
I want to start another cycle straight away bit 2 weeks on and I'm still testing positive on the pregnancy test and then I have to wait for a natural bleed. (Which I hardly get due to POI)

@user1473271491 It didn't feel any different emotionally, just physically due to meds etc.

OP posts:
user1473271491 · 18/12/2023 17:46

Thanks for your reply…Did they give more meds because of hormones regulation

user1473271491 · 18/12/2023 17:53

Did you find Indian donors in UK
it’s easier to find abroad …

Original poster
aaaarti · 18/12/2023 20:51

@user1473271491 I was on progesterone pessaries and injections and also oestrogen tablets.
I didn't go with an Indian donor as there aren't many to choose from and the ones that were available, didn't match any of my facial features and other factors such as height and weight.

OP posts:
GingerFox2021 · 24/12/2023 19:37

@Lola245 i’m pretty sure you asked me a question, but can’t find it where! We are hopefully moving with the treatment as well. Planning to go for tests etc in January. Had a chat with a dr in October. The decision is not easy. I’m not particularly worried for not having a genetic connection, but I think I do worry of what impact it might have on child (for him/her to know they are donor egg conceived). Also, reading about this being non ethical thing drives me mad now and I’m lost.

Anonemouse1 · 30/12/2023 10:04

Just came across this thread. I have two children conceived naturally when I was younger. We had a family tragedy that made me desperate for more children. I was 42 at the time and realistic about fertility and also that I wanted the child to be as healthy as possible. We quickly moved to the idea of double donor. I’m also Indian like a few people on this thread and my husband is white. We decided to go to Greece having explored clinics here, india and various European countries. It was important to me that the women giving eggs were treated well and also that the child could look similar to our other kids. We chose serum
ivf in Athens as they are known for their matching. Also we had the most heartfelt, empathetic response to our reason for choosing this route and there was real care and understanding there. Our son was born 17 months ago and so many people comment that he looks like his older brother and I tell them he’s double donor. We’re not keeping it a secret as we feel like we’ve won a lottery by being able to have him. The pregnancy was no different to my others. I did wonder what he’d look like when he was born but you all know kids are born with a little personality and soul and he felt so familiar and loved. We went back to try the remaining embryos as I would’ve always wondered ‘what if’ and currently 31 weeks pregnant with a girl. Our children are our children, all loved and wanted.

For anyone who wants the practical side of donor at serum. First meeting was via FaceTime. We flew once for hysteoscopy (no idea how to spell that) and blood tests. Brought medication there as super cheap compared to here. Waited two months and they had someone ready to donate for us. Did a fresh round, so in synch with donor and flew over for transfer, my scans done in uk and sent over to them. That round didn’t work. A month later we went back for a frozen round and that round gave us our son. Cost €6000 for double donor treatment, additional €1600 for hysteoscopy and maybe another €400 for bloods and Covid tests as we had Covid restrictions then. We then paid €1000 for remaining embryos to be frozen (cost includes transfer) Went back last year for hysteoscopy in April (they want one within six months of transfer) and then transferred in June. Had scans here and then spent about €300 in blood tests there. Again brought medication there. Wrapped around a holiday with transfer so very relaxed and chilled during tww and as I say baby nearly here. Do feel free to ask any questions, I’ve met mums since who have had donor egg babies and they don’t regret it. The only thing is some keep it secret and that seems to be the big issue rather than the child.

user1473271491 · 31/12/2023 17:38

Hi thank you for your lovely inspiring post
being in this age group how are you finding the pregnancy and having the younger child to look after
do you feel tired

Anonemouse1 · 31/12/2023 20:13

To tell you the truth it’s different from when I was 23 and had my eldest but not much different from when I was 31 and had my second. I think first time around I had sooo much energy as late nights weren’t unusual as been clubbing lots but at 31 and giving birth to third in 40’s felt harder to adapt to missing sleep because I had a proper job and commitments during the day. Wfh has helped alot as my husband slept in other room when third baby was young and then would get him at 6am and I would sleep solidly from 6-9 and turn out of bed and straight into emails. So being in a better position at work because I’m older and more experienced helped with that.
On the physical side of things I had the worst post Partum body after my first as with hindsight I recognised I was just arrogant about what my body could do so didn’t do pelvic floors or any core specific exercises and carried him on my hip constantly. Resulted in a back spasm when he was about three years old. Learnt my lesson since then and have over the years done loads of Pilates and yoga. After birth of my third child 17 months ago I took post partum recovery very seriously and saw an osteopath 4 days after birth and about every six weeks for a while. Then had a mummy mot, as the six week gp check up isn’t very comprehensive. Was pleased to be reassured that my stomach had knitted back together down the centre and was given some physio exercises to do to help build the core. Also used a sling library with a wonderful woman who told me how to use slings properly so not pulling in back or shoulders.
I have energy for our toddler, enjoy running around with him in a park and kids club. Yes I get tired in the evenings, but that’s just parenting. Encourage lots of book reading in the evenings so I can sit and cuddle mostly. Being pregnant with third being so young means the energy is for the toddler and the pregnancy is there but not indulged much as I’m always on the go.

GingerFox2021 · 19/01/2024 11:10

Hi ladies,
Could someone please give me the opinions about fresh/frozen eggs? I kind of decided with the Clinic, but just now unexpectedly started worrying that they do fresh eggs only. I knew that but now when I think, I’m worried it might take much longer than frozen eggs. If we go for frozen, I need to change quickly the Clinic. Not sure what to do and adding more stress on me when I’m already stressed enough.

Donimo · 19/01/2024 15:00

@GingerFox2021 we used fresh eggs for our donor cycle and now have 18 month old twins. I think (but not sure) the success rate is slightly higher with fresh than with frozen. I think it generally takes a little longer with fresh though. As you need to wait for a suitable match (this takes longer depending on your ethnicity and how specific you are on your specifications). Although it our case we were matched a week after paying to be registered with a clinic (this is unusally quick). You then need to tie in with your donors dates they have free/want to do the treatment and sync yours and their cycles. Then obviously the clinic need to have your donor do medications etc and egg collection before you get to fertilisation/transfer etc etc. So think the process is longer than with frozen as guessing with frozen once you have a match its a matter of sorting your cycle then defrosting the eggs??

I think from the time we were placed on the wait list for a donor to having an embryo implanted was about 5 months. So within 12 months of starting the process I was incredibly lucky to have 2 babies!

Risks in both options... frozen- how many eggs survive being defrosted. Fresh unknown how many eggs the donor will have.