TTC with a donor

[Waiting2BAMummy]

So it appears I posted the 1,000 message on our previous thread and now it's closed so I've opened us a new home!

@TimeIhadaNameChange
@LanieM87
@Freezerbump

@Waiting2BAMummy That was my thoughts exactly.

I had a really good size follicle this month and a very high LH surge. I didn't want to waste the opportunity. I'm hoping that if I do manage to fall pregnant that by time they would be born the world should be on the mend.

They were my thoughts too, we will be going ahead with our first insemination next weekend, providing our donor is fit and well.

Good luck @KLO0224

Thank you, same to you!

I really didn't want to put of trying at the moment- unless I got symptoms of course. But my donor dosent feel able to, I feel if I look for another one they may be the same. How have your donors been ?

My donor was fine but I think if he had been into contact with someone who had it, or even thought he might have, that would have been a different story @ohsotrying

Not sure what I’m going to do next if it hasn’t worked this month as I’m really too old to be waiting and was going to look into a clinic in Denmark but not sure when that would be able to happen now.

Hi all

Sorry I snapped Waiting. I genuinely think my donor has a suspected case - no community testing now - and he is self isolating. I work in the NHS and I know how serious this is. I also know how irresponsible it would be of me to knowingly meet someone who is ill and then go to work.

Anyway, all being well I am meeting a new donor tomorrow. The logistics have been complex and it involves travelling a fair way but I figured this could be my last try for a while and I can't afford to miss months.

Not getting my hopes up in case he gets cold feet or I drop the sample as I'm tired but hopefully he won't and I won't.

Really excited to be going into another TWW.

No worries @bitheby I appreciate the apology and I’m sorry if I jumped to conclusions I was just feeling for you as I know he has let you down a couple of times before and Coronavirus seemed like an easy get out clause. You’re right though I should not have made assumptions.

Glad you’ve managed to find another donor for this month I hope he keeps to his word. I don’t know about you but I’m concerned about how long I’ll have to wait to try again after this month. I feel horrible for even saying that with what’s going on in the world right now but I can’t help how I feel.

Hope you’re staying safe at work.

Can't remember whether I said that I work in NHS and am part of senior management. I don't remember being this tired for years. Work is intense right now.

Met donor this evening. All went ok.

He's had success with other donees. It's only my third attempt ever, first with him so I think I probably still have lots to learn about the ideal insemination technique. Fingers crossed I'll be lucky. Fingers crossed I'll be able to meet him to try again.

Who knows what the next few weeks will bring. Everything is uncertain.

Glad everything went well @bitheby

I can imagine everything is super stressful at work right now and adding uncertainty and TTC to that mix is going to make for a big ball of stress.

Try to remember to take care of you and just take each day as it comes. Things are changing so fast that, that’s all anyone can do right now.

I don’t think I’ve spoken to a single person this week who doesn’t feel some level of fear about all of this. Much of that comes, obviously, from the fact that this is all so unprecedented but also that right now there is no end in sight. Nobody seems to be able to say how long this will be going on for.

Right now though, more than ever, the community of Mum’s net and our local and wider communities need to put their differences aside and be there for each other. We’re all in this together so remember to keep reaching out and getting support, even if it’s just an after work rant, when and if you need it.

The NHS has always been the cornerstone of this country but now more than ever it’s proving its worth. You’re doing a great job!

Thanks. I can’t sleep. I’ve been awake all night. How about you?

Pretty much the same. Everyone in my company is working from home now which is really isolating. We’re all still getting paid right now but depending on how long this goes on for who knows if that will continue.
I’m stressing that I won’t be pregnant this month because time is not on my side and I don’t know when I’ll be able to try again but then stressing that I could be and what happens if I lose my job.

I know worrying doesn’t change anything but sometimes you just can’t help it.

Why aren’t you sleeping what are you worried about?

I don't think it's worry so much as just so many things to think about and try to remember to do. My mind is whirring with it all. I'm mostly worried about not sleeping and burning out. And then getting ill at that point.

I've had lots of conversations today and I keep remembering snatches of conversations - because I'm so tired I'm worrying that I said something stupid.

We're not WFH yet. I can't wait to be honest. I spend most of my time outside work on my own which is how I like it but I understand how you feel. The longer it goes on, the harder it will be. Are you keeping in touch online?

Yes we have teams calls and video conferences twice a day and the people I work with know I’m on my own so they do call/message to check in on me which is really nice.

You’re probably only remember snippets because you’re tired I’m sure you didn’t sound stupid. You haven’t said anything stupid while we’ve been chatting so you’re still able to eloquently converse. Try to do some relaxation maybe take a bath, listen to some relaxation music, do some breathing exercises, anything to try and quiet your mind a little. Could you try a lavender pillow, lavender cream or some of that lavender oil you put on your pillow?

Also it maybe worth writing down the list on everything that you need to do, at least then it’s out of your head and you know you won’t forget it because it’s written down.

I need to respond as the thread is on 666 posts.

I'm not very list-y but you're right. I got to the point Thursday where I was too tired to be able to read and write anymore. Signed off an email with someone else's name.

Asked for a couple of days off. Going to rest now.

I’m not exactly a list person either but when I know I have things to do and it’s all going around in my mind because I’m scared I’ll forget something writing it down means I don’t have to keep thinking about it because it’s right there in front of me.

I’m glad you’re taking some time for you and remember we’re here if you need to vent.

Hi all,

I feel for you all! In the same boat @bitheby working in the NHS frontline, and hoping that the Covid-19 stays away! 4 DPO/IUI today.

@Waiting2BAMummy 🤞🏼 for you and your job, it must be adding pressure.

Is anyone else feeling the uncertainty of TTC'ing in these times. I've felt guilty for trying as I wasn't sure it was the right thing to do but we've waited months since last trying as Christmas fell and my father in law was so poorly. But I really want this 😩

Absolutely, @VNAWENN it’s a really hard decision and I’m not sure anyone really knows what the right thing to do is. I did my last insemination last Sunday and I think I ovulated Sunday/Monday. It’ll be a miracle if it’s worked this month but I wasn’t supposed to be able to try as my donor was moving away. When I text him at the start of the month to say I wasn’t pregnant he offered to do this month as circumstances had changed so I jumped at the chance.

I’m 39 this year so time definitely isn’t on my side and after this month month who knows when any of us will be able to try again. If the country goes into lockdown, as I suspect is highly likely, we won’t be able to try for what is likely to be months rather than weeks.

You took the opportunity you had, for something you’re so desperate for, that’s nothing to feel guilty for. You’ve probably read posts on the conception boards, as have I, saying it’s selfish etc because we don’t know what effects it will have on our unborn baby. The way I see it, if it works this month, well have to be at home isolating for 12 weeks anyway so we definitely won’t be catching it.

Please don’t feel guilty this is all such uncharted territory nobody knows what the right thing to do is. We made our decisions for our circumstances and we’re the ones who will have deal with whatever the outcome so it isn’t for anyone else to judge. There’s enough to be worrying about right now be kind to yourself x

@Waiting2BAMummy your kind to say that. Hopefully being here for each other will keep us going. 🤞🏼 for everyone who's trying xxx

Okay, so, I’ve never been pregnant so am no expert but I’ve read many posts and I wanted to get the thoughts of you trusted ladies (I know you won’t all tell me I’m completely stupid, or at least I hope not, like I’ve seen in some posts).

We’ve all been guilty of symptom spotting, I think it’s pretty much an impossibility not to. We’ve all read those posts on sites listing BFP symptoms by dpo. I’m sure we’ve all seen those posts too if DTD 20 minutes ago and now my nose itches am I pregnant?!’. There have been posts where women are 3/4dpo and post systems desperate to get feedback from other women who had similar experiences and were successful. Then come the replies of how impossible it is to be having symptoms because your body doesn’t even know you’re pregnant until HCG starts to rise after implantation and the earliest that happens in 6dpo.

I see the logic behind that, however, surely a women’s body must be aware, at the very least on a cellular level, that the egg has been fertilised? I mean this is foreign DNA combining with out DNA it surely has to be possible that the body knows this or am I talking nonsense?

I’m usually trying to get people to stop me obsessing about TTC issues but actually this is a nice break from the thoughts and stresses of COVID-19!

@Waiting2BAMummy I am happy to go down that rabbit hole with you 🤣🤣

I am that person who is googling symptoms by DPO for the next day that I'll be on when I wake up!

My personal opinion is that you may be able to tell. But just as some people can guess the ending of a film before it's happened when others are completely shocked, I think it's just perspective and how well you know your body.

(At least that's what I'm telling myself at 5 DPO...... 🤣🤣🤞🏼)

Hi guys

I think some people do have a 'feeling'. Thing is, there are so many things that have to happen for a successful pregnancy to result and it's so easy for wishful thinking to prevail.

I had some definite symptoms last time I tried. My cervix and CM was doing everything it should. So maybe the first few things happened but I didn't get as far as implantation. Or maybe it was doing that anyway.

I'm so glad I'm back in the game again. I really went to extreme lengths to get to meet the donor. I really hope this time works.

Thanks for indulging me ladies.

Fingers crossed for everyone this month. We deserve some positive news with all the awful news in the world right now.

We can all 12 week isolate together!

Anyone else worried about lockdown? Think it's Wright in ways but will mean I can't travel down to my donor for many months which will be horrible. I've waiters and planned for this for so long. I know the virus not spreading is more imprortant but If people took the wright
precautions we wouldn't be in this mess !