#makeithappen TTC through Donor IUI or Donor IVF or just undecided. All welcome. Thread 12

[ButtonMooooon]

New thread, hope you don't mind I started a new one Kwick

@K10f1 how are you feeling? I hope you are not in as much pain any more I can’t believe that Boris is having a baby - I don’t begrudge anyone a baby but apparently he doesn’t even know how many kids he already has, so I’m not sure he needs another one quite as much as all of us do!

@Autumn1985 I hope you are doing okay too

@lillibeth86 I’m so sorry to hear that you have had your appointment cancelled - you must have been getting so excited to start! But hopefully it won’t be too long before you can start and you have all the excitement yet to come!

We have not had any contact from our clinic regarding covid 19 but I’m worried to start any treatment in case we get part way through a cycle and it gets cancelled. Does anyone know if being part way through a cycle would count as essential medical treatment? I’m not sure how long this covid 19 is going to hang around for but I feel like I need to be available to my job at the hospital more than ever and the same with my wife at her job working with the vulnerable elderly - so I’m not sure where that leaves my wife and I with trying to have a baby. 🤷‍♀️Life’s curveballs always seem to get in the way of our baby plans! But I’m sure we will have a family one day 🤞

@TheAdventureStartsHere Unfortunately my pain didn’t improve. I got scanned at 7+2 at epau because I was worried I had an ectopic. They said not. I asked about a repeat beta because my pregnancy test was strongly positive but they said not needed. If I’m honest it felt like they were schooling the doctor, telling me the tests I expected to happen didn’t need to happen. I’m not a gynaecology specialist so I left, feeling a bit of an idiot.

The following week the pain was increasing and I called again. Epau agreed to scan me that morning. They scanned me, still couldn’t see a pregnancy but there was blood in my pelvis. They planned for exploratory lap and I was second on the emergency list. I then collapsed so they opened up a different theatre and took me there rather sharpish. I was intermittently conscious at that point and then obviously under anaesthetic but the consultant came and talked me through everything after.

I lost about a litre of blood. They found the ectopic in my left tube and it had ruptured. I lost the tube but kept the ovary. I’m very anaemic (obviously) and have surgical wounds yet to heel but getting physically stronger slowly. Emotionally I’m a wreck. My fertility clinic has advised my only option now is ivf, but who knows if I’ll even do it. It’s not an exaggeration to say I could have died and honestly I’m sort of terrified of ever trying again. I’ve had panic attacks and difficulty sleeping. The clinic have had me speak to a counsellor which was helpful, and I’ll definitely speak to her again. I’m so angry about the appointment the previous week. If I’d been listened too I might still have my tube. I’m a doctor, I know we all make mistakes, I can’t claim to have got it right every time in my career, but a patient has never been left injured by my care. I’ve never got it this wrong and that’s what I’m struggling with.

All treatments are now cancelled I think due to covid, my clinic say they are expecting treatments not to start again until September. I guess it gives me time to decide what I’m going to do in the future and focus on getting well. I’m not working at the moment obviously so there’s a whole level of guilt relating to that. But clearly I can’t get back until I’m physically recovered at least.

Stay safe everyone

X

@K10f1 I’m so sorry to hear of what an awful experience you have had! It sounds so frightening and worrying! I hope you are being kind to yourself, resting and recovering! Don’t feel guilty about taking the time you need to return to good health as you well know that you need to take care of yourself first before you can help others! Thinking of you and sending you strength to get well soon . I hope you have family and friends who will drop anything you need on your doorstep and keep in touch by phone to check in on you x

Hi,

Thought I'd come and update here as some of the old timers might remember me!

I finally had my baby boy on 16th April and he's perfect. It was a difficult labour and birth culminating in forceps delivery in theatre but he's worth every second of pain and heartache the last 3 years have thrown at us. We're even thinking of trying for another sometime soon!

@TinyPaws thank you for updating us all and many congratulations on the arrival your little boy! It sounds like you have had a long tough journey to get to your happy ending! It’s lovely to hear that it is all worth it in the end though! Wishing you lots of joy with your new addition!

Hope everyone else has stayed safe through lockdown and hoping all the clinics are reopening soon so we can all get back to making our dreams come true x ❤️

@TinyPaws congratulations. It has been a tough road but you can now sit back and enjoy your baby boy. I am so happy for you. Enjoy all the newborn cuddles, time goes by way too fast 💙

@TinyPaws awww what lovely news, enjoy the newborn snuggles. It goes far too quickly!!!! Congratulations

Can I join the thread? @TinyPaws congratulations on your baby boy!

I am a single and I am hoping to have either IUI or IVF with donor sperm. I am not sure which would be the best option for me. I am not sure if I would actually need IVF but i life the fact it is more likely to be successful.

At the moment I am looking at the Stork clinic in Denmark. Having done the research I think it would be best to go with an anonymous donor who is willing to be contacted when the child is 18. I like the face that you can see baby photos as I want the baby to look like me as I think it would help them feel that they belong a bit more.

Sorry if I am rambling on.

I am a solo woman TTC via donor IVF. I have been so patient for years now to actually start IVF after years of fertility MOT tests and unexpected delays.

Baby dust to everyone TTC!

@TinyPaws aww congratulations on having your baby !

Aw @TinyPaws - such fantastic news and great to hear a success story!

@dreamingdream good luck on starting your journey. Sending lots of luck your way.

A little update on us... we finally decided on a donor last week and got the go ahead to start stimulated IUI with my next cycle. Feels like I’ve been waiting for this forever and now it’s finally happening.... my partner’s getting cold feet. I think it’s just so easy to think about what you’re getting yourself into (sleepless nights, less boozing, less partying... having an actual human baby!) and I think she’s worried. She says she didn’t expect it to happen to quickly. So I feel rather gutted, stuck half way between persisting to go ahead as we’d agreed and holding off for however long. Generally just feel really sad, I finally thought my time had come to start and it now all feels a bit up in the air. Fingers crossed it’ll work out.

Love and luck to all! X

Also welcome @AlltheLemurs - we used the European Sperm Bank in Denmark and found them to be fantastic; it’s pretty expensive though!!

I like that you can get a refund of 75% on any sperm you don’t end up using as long as it remains in their clinic, so we’re spending a little more shipping it over as and when we need it but hoping to have some leftover after all this to pay for the babe!

Hi all,

I’m looking for some support and friendly advice. Towards the end of last year we found out that my partner is infertile. He has a genetic condition which means he has never produced sperm. During that time we had several tests and scans and then covid hit. We had a telephone appointment last week and we have agreed to go forward with a sperm donor. My partner is very positive about it, but I can’t help feelin sad for him. It feels like it has suddenly hit me, that if this were successful it won’t be something we made together and that breaks my heart. I don’t have anyone to talk to and I’m just so tearful

@Lockdown40

That's difficult news to process. It's natural that you grieve the possibility of making a child that carries genes that a blend of yours and your partners. Time will help.

It's wonderful that your partner is positive about moving forward with a donor. At the end of the day, love is more important than blood when it comes to making a family and having a child is a journey that you go on together with your partner, regardless of whose genetics are involved.

@BananaHammock23 thanks for wishing me luck. Also, aww I'm so happy for you, good luck with your fertility treatment!

@Lockdown40 my husband has the same condition. We have a son through double donation as I needed help with my eggs too. PM me if you’d like to talk more. Recommend the donor conception network charity- they have regular men only discussions and lots of chat for couples and families of dc conceived kids.