#makeithappen TTC through Donor IUI or Donor IVF or just undecided. All welcome. Thread 12

[ButtonMooooon]

New thread, hope you don't mind I started a new one Kwick

@Cutesbabasmummy what a little miracle indeed! He’s so handsome! You must be so proud of him. Lovely to hear of your donor egg success story too- it gives so many people hope of a happy outcome to fertility treatment. Our donors are all such amazing people to selflessly give us the chance at having our own families (fingers crossed for my future family!) ❤️

@K10f1sounds like AF is lurking around the corner somewhere but she obviously didn’t get her invite to your birthday party! Happy 34th Birthday by the way! I hope that this year ahead is your best year ever!
I think a glass of wine to relax on a Sunday sounds lovely - I’ve given up booze since starting this cycle but more because I’d rather have the calories in chocolate instead and I can’t have both when I’m trying to make sure I don’t gain weight! I had a nice relaxing bath on Sunday night, as I’ve heard after the IUI procedure they dont recommend baths for 2 weeks (something about possible infection risk?) so I’m enjoying them now whilst I can. The bath turned out to be less than relaxing when I let the water go down the plug hole and it drained the contents into my kitchen below 😩 I am not having much luck at the moment 🤣 I’m obviously saving up all my luck for the IUI! So we ended up ripping the side of the bath off to investigate where it was coming from. I’ll get a torch and do an experimental bath draining tonight to see where the water is escaping -I think it might just need the sealant renewing around the plughole🤞If not then I’m calling a plumber and someone who can put a new bath side panel in that i don’t have to break in order to gain access to the pipes underneath!

As for injection side effects - does being very tearful at work today count? I also had a random nosebleed when I got up this morning but I do occasionally get them anyway so it’s probably coincidence or me getting too hot overnight. I’m not sure whether to blame the hormone injections or just my busy weekend and run of poor luck getting on top of me! I’m usually a bit tearful (emotional wreck!) around ovulation so I hope these follicles arent developing and ready to pop too early as it’s only day 8 and my next follicle scan is still 48hours and another injection away!
If anyone else reading the thread had/has noticed any side effects from the medication then feel free to comment otherwise I think I’m just going to put it down to me overthinking things and it’s probably nothing to do with the injections at all!
Hope you all have a great day -this afternoon I’m going to try to not scare my poor colleagues with any more ridiculous tears over minor issues 😭 At this point I wonder if keeping my fertility treatment secret from everyone I know is not such a good idea!

@TheAdventureStartsHere not to be all “me me me” but god I feel rough. I started the provera Monday and I’ve had a headache continuously- no migraine fortunately yet, normally I get those on withdrawal anyway, but a continuous headache. It’s partly medication but also it’s been a tricky week at work in terms of staffing levels and capacity. And now I can’t sleep. Fortunately this week I’m working Monday-Wednesday then Sunday so have a break the next three days.
I’ve not kept my plans secret at work. I figured I would be unlikely to get through without having to arrive late/leave early at least once, and given they’d have very little notice of this and the disruption it had the potential to cause was huge the best bet was to be honest about why. Otherwise I’d be giving a few days notice that I needed to be late to work and this would cause discontent. People have been broadly speaking supportive, some members of the team have had fertility treatment. The only negative was one of the male doctors telling me when he had his kids without his wife for a few days it was really challenging and therefore single parenting was hard, but I decided to smile and said “well... people manage!” And left it at that. No need to debate the issue.
How are you feeling? How’s the bath/plumbing? And how are those follicles?

I was really open at work about our ivf. They were fab. When we had 8 donor eggs defrosted they got a little chocolate chicken and 8 eggs and put them on a nest of weetabix and gave the eggs little Spanish name stickers. They were so great that one of my colleagues is now my son's godmother x

@K10f1 Don’t feel bad about sharing any of your ups and downs here - I’d say that is what we are here for! Trying to build a little community of support and common ground! I think it’s good to have a place where we can try to ‘talk’ through the good and bad times of fertility treatment and seek advice or support from others in a similar situation! I’m sorry to hear that you have been feeling really rough with your headaches 😞 I hope they will ease off soon for you! What is the provera for again? Was that to bring on AF so you can get started before Xmas? How long do you have to take it for? Fingers crossed not much longer if it gives you such horrid side effects and I hope they won’t turn into a migraine!
Hmmm I don’t know why people would think that they should make any negative comments about single parents by choice (hope it’s okay to use that definition) as parenting is never going to be easy whether you be single or a couple and it’s not as if single parents by choice just suddenly decide I think I’ll have a child today (like some couples could do!)- it’s more proof of their determination, strength and careful planning that they would decide to undergo fertility treatment to get the family that they so long for and deserve! You have lots of love to give a child and plenty of family and friends to support you -whilst there is plenty of people who end up single parents without a choice anyway and they manage just fine! My sister in law is a single mum of two and it’s not easy sometimes but the kids are happy and healthy and have a huge close family around them! Oooo it does make me annoyed that people can be so judgemental or presumptuous! I can certainly see some advantages of your work being aware of your fertility treatment though! I decided to keep mine secret because I’ve only worked here for a year and I’m not particularly close with anyone, also I’m currently managing to fit my scan appointments in at the local new satellite clinic so no one needs to know. Also I feel like why is it any of their business - if I was straight I wouldn’t tell them when I’m trying to conceive so I feel like I shouldn’t have to tell them now either 😂 I’m sure I might change my mind of the treatment becomes prolonged or begins to interfere with work in any way. I hate lying to people but I’m also keeping friends and family in the dark. They were aware that we wanted to try to start a family via fertility treatment and we told them that we had to have a lot of tests and save up for treatment as I didn’t want lots of people asking me face to face every month if we had any news in case we have bad news or it took a very long time to conceive. Maybe I’ll change my mind on that further down the line if I need support -but I had always looked forward to surprising my family and friends with the news just like my brother and his wife did for their pregnancies.
@Cutesbabasmummy that’s a lovely thing that your colleagues did! What a wonderful way to show their support to you - and I suppose the chocolate came in handy to eat with all those fertility treatment hormones! I’ve been struggling to resist reaching for the chocolate! Although I’m not sure I could have eaten the lovely Spanish named chocolate eggs as they are too meaningful 🤣 Some of their positivity must have rubbed off onto you and helped you make your gorgeous little one! ❤️
Sorry I write such long posts 😂 I’m very chatty 😊
Well as for me .... I got quite nostalgic about my last gonal F injection thinking this could be the last injection of this before I have the trigger and hopefully make a baby! I found it strangely poignant to think about that! Well I needn’t have bothered 🤣 as for all my worries about my follicles getting over stimulated - they were the total opposite! I had my follicle scan on Wednesday and the consultant said that either the medication I had in the broken fridge had been damaged by not storing it at the right temperature and hadn’t worked or I was under responding to the gonal F. The lead follicle was 9mm (day 10 of my cycle when it was expected to be about 12mm) and it needs to be up to ~17mm to reach maturity (So nearly a double in size needed!)!or else they may cancel the whole cycle! So not the news I was hoping for at all and I felt really frustrated and disappointed with my body for not making a big enough follicle- but the consultant prescribed me an increase to 100iu of gonal F every other day (great more flipping needles!!) and another scan on Saturday (day 13) in the hope it can catch up in time. But we didn’t have any spare medication as we had already used our spare 75iu shot and they hadn’t expected it not to work, and then the new clinic didn’t have any emergency medication in stock (👎) but the consultant had brought a new trigger injection along 👍(after the old one was damaged by the broken fridge and we were told to discard it). But I needed to collect the new gonal F pen before this morning so I could inject before 11am! So after trying to arrange a courier to no avail as we both were working yesterday and today, we ended up driving a 2 hour round trip to the embryologists house near to the main satellite clinic to collect some emergency medication at 8pm last night 🙄 Medication is now safely stored in my newly delivered fridge freezer and I administered the first increased dose this morning so now I’m thinking big juicy thoughts and sending them to my follicle! Grow little follicle- grow! There is a second follicle that has increased in size and it too may try to catch up but is doubtful that it will make it to maturity by the time I trigger - but I’ll send encouragement to that follicle too as it may well surprise me yet! So next follicle scan will tell if the new gonal F dose is working it’s magic or if this cycle has been a waste of medication. Also we have to drive the 2 hour trip to the main fertility clinic for 9am for the follicle scan because it’s a Saturday and none of the satellite clinics are open, then drive the 2 hours home again! At least I don’t need time off work though so I don’t mind having to travel to the main clinic for a weekend appointment as I know they are only open for those who can’t have appointments any other time due to where they are in their cycle! Fingers crossed for my follicles please!
To add to the chaos my parents and grown up little sister want to come to visit us this weekend so I’ll have to make up some excuse about having to disappear for over 4 hours and hide all my medication etc as we don’t want to tell them that I am trying, especially as it might not actually even go ahead this cycle anyway!

@Cutesbabasmummy What a gorgeous little boy!

@TinyPaws thank you! We feel extremely lucky to have him! How many weeks are you? Xx

@TheAdventureStartsHere Oh no! I’m so sorry you haven’t responded as hoped, good luck for the scan tomorrow. The steps you had to take to get the medication however makes me smile a little. My grandparents (now both passed) always had stories like that. It was always “we needed x but the shop wouldn’t have it in until next week and we needed it tomorrow so we drove 8 hours to the manufacturer and collected it from them.” And usually the stories involved snow, thunder storm or minor earthquake. We called them Bonnie and Clyde. Whenever there was a mission off they’d go. My dad is quite prone to an improbable mission too. I really hope the follicles respond to the increase. How are you planning on hiding your medication in the fridge? Family always seem to choose inopportune moments to show up let me know what excuse you settle on. Could you have a work emergency?
The provera is a medication you take to cause a period. So you take it for 10 days, stop it, then your period should start in the next 3-7 days. It’s the same thing a doctor would give you if you needed to delay a period for your holiday. I have headaches when I take it and then normally migraines on withdrawal. I normally take it if no period within a 3 month time scale as it helps protect the endometrium but haven’t had to use it since starting metformin. Until now it seems. Obviously not waiting the 3 months because it’s so I can have treatment rather than just my normal routine use. So 5 more days to go. Then back to waiting, but with the knowledge that it literally has to happen.
@Cutesbabasmummy I just managed to see the picture (my phone wasn’t playing ball before). That is such a festive photo, I love it!
@TinyPaws do keep us updated on your pregnancy. It gives hope!

@K10f1 sounds like your family are as fond of an road trip adventure as me 🤣 it’s not usually an ideal situation to have to drive so far but sometimes there is no other way and I knew fertility treatment wouldn’t be easy so I always like to try to prepare for any scenario -but I didn’t even consider the fridge breaking down and ruining the medication! Some things are just an extra challenge 🙄 but we are lucky that there was a way to get it sorted in time!
How is the provera going? Do you still have the headaches every day? Do you take paracetamol if it’s not a migraine and does it work for ‘medicine’ headaches? Hopefully not long left for you now. I have to admit that I had a bad headache yesterday evening and I was wondering if it was because I had had my second increased dose of 100iu gonal F in the morning or it could have just been because I had only had 5 hours sleep the night before and had been rushing around all day! I didn’t bother taking any paracetamol like I usually would, I just had a big drink of water in case I was dehydrated and went to bed early to sleep it off! I had my follicle scan yesterday morning at 9 am but at the main clinic which was a 2 hour drive away so we had to get up at 6am to get ready and on the road again (we’ve done a lot of driving this week for these little follicles!). We had some good news at the scan that I am responding to the new dose of Gonal F and my lead follicle is now up to about 15-16mm so we are back in the game for an IUI attempt this cycle thank goodness 😅 The other follicles have all fallen behind so I needn’t have worried about overstimulation and we have all our hopes hanging on the one follicle now! I have another follicle scan on Monday and then we might be ready for a trigger shot! I’m a little bit worried as today is my predicted natural ovulation day and TMI but my cervical mucus has changed consistency - so I hope the egg will stay in it’s follicle until Monday and doesn’t pop out early. I guess it’s not quite mature yet though. My clinic haven’t asked me to do any ovulation prediction with kits or anything so I’m just having to trust their expertise and advice!

Do you folks think I should get some ovulation prediction sticks as a lot of people seem to use them or do you think it would just add to my nerves unnecessarily as my clinic are in control of booking my appointments when they see fit!?

As for the family visit I guiltily decided to put them off by telling them that I already had plans this weekend and they seemed okay with that. Phew 😅

My medication is stored in a thin ‘lunchbox’ style cool bag in my fridge with a refrigerated cool block in with it (as backup cooling in case the new fridge fails 🤣 I can’t be too careful now!)

Hope everyone is having a good and relaxing weekend! The sun is coming out here so I’m going to take my dogs out for a long walk somewhere nice!

@TheAdventureStartsHere I really hope today’s scan went well and you are able to trigger soon. So pleased the dose increase helped. I remain on provera. Two more days for me, and yes still having headaches but paracetamol and ibuprofen does help.

My understanding is that the medicines you’re injecting basically over rides whatever normal is for you so your normal ovulation date doesn’t matter. I might be wrong though.

I’m super impressed with your fridge back up plan and don’t feel you should be at all guilty for putting your family off. I mean... you literally had other plans. Important ones. Plans that you were not in control of. Seems legit to me.

My clinic is an hour away... and that’s the satellite clinic for the scans. On insemination day I’m looking at a 2 hour drive to the main clinic. I love to drive however so am not too worried about this.

How many dogs do you have? I have two. One is an angel who literally can’t do anything wrong. She’s epic. The other tries really hard but he has a tendency to make mistakes. I love him to bits but I think his training will likely be a lifelong project. You think he understands something but the next day it’s like you literally never showed him this before. Recently he doesn’t come to his name. He used to. But not anymore. I have no idea why. The John Lewis advert with Excitable Edgar sort of reminds me of him!

@K10f1 I’ll be so pleased for you the day AF arrives - there is so much waiting involved in this TTC game! I’m not very good at it 🤦‍♀️ You have certainly done your fair share of waiting already!

I think we were really lucky to find out that our new satellite clinic was planned to open about 20mins from where we live and 5 minutes from where we work! We so nearly went with a different clinic and that would have meant a longer drive and I think that’s usually common for people who don’t live near big cities with big clinics! I do have to keep reminding myself that TTC is my most important aim at the moment and that I need to put that first for a while even if it means having to do things I’d rather not do usually - like turn my family visits away, or take time off work at short notice!

Aww your dogs sound adorable! What breeds for you have? There is always one trouble maker in a group- we have 3 dogs: 2 rescue spaniels and a chihuahua cross- and it’s the chi that rules the roost! They are all gorgeous but each have their own little foibles! It’s hard work have 3 dogs and work full time because it’s hard to have the time to spend training them. We seem to have success with treats to reinforce good behaviour although we haven’t quite worked out how to reduce the bad behaviour - we usually just try to distract them away from any bad behaviour with something more fun like a toy! We had a trial and error approach to recall and found that an excited high pitched voice calling their name excitedly and running AWAY from where the dog was heading (I know the opposite direction seems counterintuitive but it was recommended by a dog trainer and it really works!) and then reward with a treat and lots of praise and fuss when they come to you! I also like to give my dogs hand signals so that they can see my command if they might be out of earshot- I spread my arms wide like a scarecrow when I want them to come/recall to me! I probably look like an idiot to anyone else watching but it works most of the time - unless there is a squirrel or rabbit involved 🤣🤦‍♀️

The follicle scan went well yesterday and the measurements are 16-19mm so the consultant surprised me by telling me that we were going to trigger right then and there! I was so shocked as I thought we had to wait longer and in my head I had until Wednesday to prepare, but the trigger happened at 8am and my first attempt IUI is TODAY at 2pm! I’m terrified but excited and trying to keep calm and relaxed! 😱 all my fingers and toes are crossed!

@TheAdventureStartsHere yay you’re in the game! So to speak.... how did the iui go? You must both be so excited. I’m actually super nervous about it happening because my surgeon commented that my cervical os was quite tight and he had struggled to put the camera through it when I had my hysteroscopy and laparoscopy. At the clinic they were like “the good news is he succeeded so we will succeed, but it might be challenging.” And I’m going “it’s going to hurt isn’t it?” She smiled and said “it might not be very comfortable no... but let’s not worry about that yet.” Fair to say I’m pretty worried about it....
I am a championship waiter. Today is day 61. Whenever I say that I think of the big brother guy (I don’t know if he is still the big brother guy, or even if big brother is still a thing, but I saw parts of the the first two maybe three series when I was a teenager and there was this Geordie voice over guy). “It’s day 61 and k10f1 still hasn’t had her period.” But just today to go with the provera and then my body should have no choice but to spring in to life.

The running away thing totally worked with angel dog, although she never lets me get far from her anyway, from the beginning she basically decided being no more than a meter from my ankles is her happy place. Edgar dog doesn’t even look up when I call him at the moment. I’ve tried running or going behind trees (that also worked with angel dog) but he literally carries on what he’s doing. I’m hoping it’s a stage but am seeing a behaviourist for help with his many foibles. One is a rescue cavapoo (Edgar dog) and other is an accidental cockapoo puppy farm purchase (angel dog). I did all the research, they were on an approved breading list. I bought in to the family home and puppies in front of the aga. But it was a scam. She was my first and rescue centres basically did not believe that I could be single and working and successfully look after a dog so I decided to purchase. I was only working three days a week, had found a day care for those three days... but nope. When I had second dog there were no problems from the rescue centres, I guess because I was already successfully caring for a well adjusted Angel dog. Anyway within 3 days of getting her home it was clear Angel Dog was really ill. She didn’t eat, had fresh blood pouring from her back end... took to vet and they advised she was also severely under nourished. So broad spectrum antibiotics, special food, probiotics and a few sleepless nights but she got through. The people I had her from denied any wrong doing and are currently (3 years later) being investigated as it turns out my story was not a rare one. I wonder if that’s why she’s an angel. She was so poorly in the beginning and I took 2 weeks off work so I was there constantly (at one point I was syringe feeding water). Basically her levels of devotion run deep and I think this is why!

@K10f1 oh my goodness your poor little angel dog! She had such a rubbish start in life - it sounds like she is so lucky to have come to you! You saved her life no doubt- no wonder she adores you!

My wife bought our chi before I met her off a seemingly innocent lady, however she never met the mum, dad or any siblings and was just shown a photo of some puppies with their mum so I’m a bit dubious of the breeder. I hate to be sceptical but I’m sure he isn’t the cross breed they said he is - he seems to be part terrier/Jack Russel rather than the miniature poodle cross they said but luckily he seems healthy enough apart from having unknown allergies which may be down to his poor breeding or just bad luck!

I had the same problem trying to adopt a rescue dog - they wouldn’t even consider me because I worked full time so I decided to volunteer at the rescue centre instead at weekends. It was horrible to see how many dogs were abandoned or surrendered but I was surprised how lovely they all were - I was expecting wild troubled dogs but they were mostly just lovely pets that had come from divorced homes or their owners had died or gone into hospital/care homes, along with a few strays that seemed to have had a home and basic training at some point! After I had volunteered for a while I mentioned that I might look to foster or adopt one of their dogs in the future and as they knew me and my partner worked different shifts they agreed to let us adopt one if it was suitable. But it was on the proviso that we had a home check and a dog walker or friends visit them during the day if we were out longer than a few hours - which we were happy to agree to. I wanted a big dog but then I heard that two stray spaniels were brought in by the dog warden emaciated, wounded, matted, smelly and absolutely terrified! I heard how they would growl at all the other dogs and wouldn’t walk on a lead, would lie down on a walk as they were frightened of everything and refused to go in a vehicle- the rescue centre said that no one would home them both together but that they also couldn’t be split up as they were so closely bonded so they would end up living there long term. I went to volunteer walk them one weekend and they cowered in the corner of the kennel at every noise so I sat on the floor near them and they came to huddle next to me for cuddles and looked at me with their massive scared brown eyes and I knew then that I wouldn’t be leaving them at the rescue centre as they had chosen me! They have repaid me for adopting them by mostly transforming as they settled into their new life - they are willing to learn, so eager to please me if I am gentle and patient with them. They now walk on the lead even alongside busy roads, travel long distance in the car and their recall to their new names surprised me as they learnt their own new names in less than a week! They will never seemingly get over some of their fears of loud noises and scary blokes though - I dread to think what happened to them in the past but I promised them that I would give them the best life I could and that they would never go back to the rescue centre or living stray no matter what! They make great jogging buddies and are so loyal- I wouldn’t be without them!

Anyway .... the IUI is done and I’m now in the TWW. When we arrived I was a little nervous and we walked into the waiting room with other people sat waiting in almost silence whilst I booked in at the reception desk. I was bursting for a wee so I asked if I was allowed to have an empty bladder for my procedure. The receptionist said she need to check so she rang up the nurses and in a loud voice said ‘the lady here is due for her IUI and she would like to empty her bowels please - is that okay!’ She then hung up the phone and proudly announced to the room that it’s okay for me to empty my bowels but not my bladder!’ I was cringing with embarrassment because I didn’t even need a poo - I just wanted a wee and she had the whole waiting room thinking that I needed a poo! My wife and I burst out laughing so it did ease the tension a bit but I was a bit embarrassed to sit in the waiting room after that! Haha!

When we went for the procedure they showed me the defrosted magic potion first (which kinda grossed me out) but apparently the consultant didn’t have the answer for my question on how was the quality and motility of the vial’s potion - he just said it was all prepared in the lab- and so he didn’t give me an indication of if the sperm we had bought was any good or a bit crap. I guess they would have told us that we needed to defrost another vial if it had been no good to use though so I assume it was okay enough. I was expecting him to report back to me on the quality and motility etc though as we really wanted to check that we have not sunk our life savings into a dud stud!

The IUI was quick and a LOT less painful than I was expecting. I usually struggle with the speculum at a smear test and cry with the pain of it and yet I think the IUI was definitely less painful than that. There was a brief 15-20 seconds where I said ‘ow ow ow that hurts’ but I think that was just the catheter going through the cervix and then once it was through I was fine. Probably the worst bit was that they made me keep my full bladder after I’d drank two cups of tea and travelled two hours then the consultant was running half an hour behind schedule so I had to hold and wait! They used an ultrasound scanner on my lower belly to check placement of the catheter during the procedure and the nurse pressing it firmly onto my full bladder had me worried that I was going to wee right on the consultants head 🤣 Luckily I told her that I haven’t got the best bladder control and she lightened the pressure slightly so luckily I didn’t embarrass myself! 🤣 I could see the scan on the monitor and you could see the bright white burst of potion on the screen as it got put into the right places - to me it’s all fuzzy black, grey and white on the screen and I don’t know what bit is where but the nurse said ‘off they go - look at them they are swimming in the right direction already!’. I just saw a white patch on the screen and trusted that she could tell what direction was what cos I certainly couldn’t 🤣

I had absolutely no cramping or pain after that when they put the magic potion in my tubes, uterus or top of my cervix or when they withdrew the equipment! I have never been so damn relieved by the lack of pain, as I was in agony during and for hours after the HyCoSy despite taking painkillers. I was surprised that the procedure was over and I didn’t need any painkillers. Then the consultant said to me ‘do you want a photograph’?! I was so confused - I thought that other people must ask for a posed photo with their significant other whilst their legs are up in stirrups as a momento of the moment of conception, or maybe they wanted a photo of themselves with the consultant who might make them pregnant? I was so confused so I said ‘no thanks’ and then my wife laughed and said ‘yes please - he means do we want a scan photo of the monitor screen showing the sperm being placed inside the uterus’! So we now have a weird scan photo of the white blob (the magic potion) on a black and grey background (my uterus?) - I was just so glad that there was no legs up in the air selfie involved 🤣🤣

I was a little disappointed when straight after the procedure they told me to get up and get dressed and then we had a quick chat and then the nurse took me to finally empty my bladder- when I was expecting a 10-15 min lie down first whilst the potion did it’s magic stuff as I had read that a short lie down immediately after the procedure increases the chances of it being successful compared to just walking straight out. So I improvised and attempted a cramped lie down in the car for half an hour with my feet up high as soon as possible but I doubt that helped and it just gave me a bit of backache 🤣 I was also a bit disappointed that after we pay all that money we don’t even get given a single measley free pregnancy test. I somewhat nievely thought that they would give us at least a cheap one, so I haven’t even got any at home yet - but I figured that at least I’d be less tempted to test too early if I don’t even have a test at home. So today feels like nothing at all happened yesterday and I feel like it’s quite unlikely to be successful as I keep calling this ‘the test run’ but I think I’ll still be disappointed if it isn’t successful. Official test date is the morning wee of Tuesday 3rd Dec (14days post IUI) but I will see if I can wait that long!

I bet you are glad to finish your provera today! Bring on AF! I’m excited for you to get your fertility cycle started!

@TheAdventureStartsHere How’s the tww going? Thoughts on your description of the iui: The receptionist sounds like she needs her hearing checking! I don’t think I’d want to see the sample before hand. I mean yea the stats (if they have them, shame your doctor didn’t) but not actually see it. I’m not going to go “ah yes, looks just like the sperm of a 6 foot rugby player.” I think I’d have been confused by the photograph thing too, mainly because I wouldn’t have expected them to offer one of the insemination. I do get a pregnancy test. They told me they give me the test in an envelope with the test date on, and not to open it before. I obviously agreed that there’s no way I’d test early... who knows what the truth will turn out to be! I’ll probably loose it and have to buy a new one, I loose everything. I’m hoping for a lie down after, I don’t know if it actually makes a difference but I so rarely get to have a little rest in the middle of a normal day and it sounds like a good excuse. I like you just assume it’s not going to work first time (if at all). I keep saying “it’s more likely to fail than not.” I didn’t realise I’d said it so much until I was musing on how I hoped test date was before Christmas Day so I didn’t have to have a sober day unless it was positive and my mum replied “well.. you keep saying it won’t work so you might as well have a drink.” It’s funny though, no matter how much I talk about expecting failure I know actual failure will upset me. I guess assuming failure is an ineffectual coping mechanism but it’s the one I’ve gone for.

So pleased to have finished provera. Had a first migraine today, fortunately not a bad one. The good news is this means AF should be along very soon (if normal pattern continues). Anyway... waiting continues.

@K10f1 so it seems like two weeks is such a long time 🙄🤦‍♀️ I keep thinking it must have been two weeks already but it’s only been 4 days since IUI sigh. I’m trying not to overthink every twinge and feeling as it’s far too early yet but I am googling a lot about implantation, you know...just in case 🤦‍♀️
Considering my stingey clinic didn’t give me one - I have also started to consider the merits of various pregnancy tests - cheap, expensive, multipack? 🤷‍♀️ Maybe I’ll have to get one of each 🤣
Aw it’s horrid to hear that you have started with a migraine but I’m glad that it wasn’t too bad. Hopefully they don’t get any worse for you! At least you know that it’s the start of TTC when AF shows up soon! I’m keen to hear when you book your baseline scan and make your plans for your cycle! Good luck! :)

@TheAdventureStartsHere it finally happened! My baseline scan is booked for Friday. It’s such a relief. You’re in to the 2nd week aren’t you? How are you doing? Have you bought a range of tests? Everyone seems to say the first response early responder is the best early doors, although I have no real life experience to back that up with.

I meant to say about your dog story, I love that you started out walking them. I think that’s lovely. You’re also completely right about just knowing, I definitely just knew my 2 were for me. It sounds like yours were in a bad way, well done for taking them on, I’m sure they reward you daily.

@K10f1 Hope your baseline went okay and you got good news about your little follies to be! Are you ready to begin your injections this cycle?

The TWW is the longest two weeks of my life! I can’t help analysing every bodily function for a potential sign 🙄 I started off feeling very sensible but now feel like I have quickly descended into madness 😖

I resisted buying any pregnancy tests previously for fear of not being able to resist POAS! But I caved yesterday and bought a pack of FRER and ClearBlue off amazon for next day delivery and they arrived today! I’m not sure I can put it off any longer even though I know the answer might not be what I want to hear as it’s probably still too soon 😩 I want to test early but my wife is really resisting and wants us to wait until Tuesday (14dpiui) or Wednesday (when I will be expecting AF or I’ll be late). I’ll see if I can twist her arm to test early before we go back to work on Monday!

I had to have a sober work Xmas party meal and drinks on Friday night (which was cruelly held at my favourite cocktail bar!). It was a bit dull to not drink and I had to spend ridiculous amounts of money on tiny glasses of stupid mocktails instead 😵 Luckily my colleagues let me get away with the ‘im driving’ excuse as several other people were too! 😅 phew!

In other news I babysat my two pre-teen nephews today and they were the best advert for taking contraception or becoming a nun that I’ve ever seen! Unfortunately it’s a bit too late for me this cycle - so I guess if I have a child I will have to run away when it’s approaching puberty, because today’s tweens are sassy little SAVAGES 🤣 cor blimey I’ve never been so glad to hand kids back to their mum whilst promising myself that of course my future children will be perfect little angels 🤣 👼 🤞

@ButtonMooooon I know you posted it a 1.5 year ago, if you do not mind me asking what clinic was that you had your failed cycle at? Did you manage to overcome this issue? I have the same issue with follicles collapsed before collection (twice already). Now doubting if I need to change clinic/treatment, consider a DE, or stop altogether. Thank you.

@Oldandsad it was Hull IVF Clinic. We then went to Sheffield who I cannot praise highly enough. They said we should never have been allowed to try a cycle using my eggs as it would never work. We used DE and 17 week old DS is currently trying to eat his own feet

@ButtonMooooon thank you! Glad to know it worked for you in the end!

@TheAdventureStartsHere well... it’s not gone great. The night before the day 3 scan I was called - nurse sick, so could I go to the main clinic? Obviously no day 3 scan no cycle so I agreed. 216 mile round trip. Anyway I arrived and my lining was too thick to proceed, despite the fact that AF was heavy as normal. The consultant saw me today with a rescan (at my satellite clinic fortunately). Basically still too thick, which means I can’t try this month. They’ve asked me to take the provera again but to start in December 16th, take until the 28th then call for a scan day 3 of that cycle. The dates are partly to miss Christmas obviously. It’s all been very disappointing and obviously I’m sad. I’m also worried, what if it’s still thick? But you have to have faith in them don’t you. Plus on return my eyes went peculiar and I had a migraine, I’ve just woken up after sleeping it off. I feel rough but worst of pain is over. So all in all today is a no good day.
I hope it’s better news your end tomorrow? I’m impressed your wife is holding so firm, I’d have folded like a piece of paper. And of course any child of yours will be an angel, that’s how this works....

@ButtonMooooon thank goodness for happy endings like yours - it gives us all hope to keep trying!

@Oldandsad sorry to hear about your collapsed follicles, that must be so disappointing and upsetting. I hope you can find a way to get a better outcome next time - with your clinic or a new one! I hope that you have the strength to carry on with your journey!

@K10f1 I’m so sorry to hear your news - I wasn’t expecting that at all (as I’m sure you weren’t either!) Sounds like you have had a true crapper of a time recently! I really hope the provera works better this time around - I didn’t even realise that a lining could even be considered too thick to proceed! It is so disappointing that you can’t fit in a cycle before Christmas like you wanted- but on the positive side I hope that you can properly relax and have a few tipples over Xmas. I hope that all this waiting will mean that your body will soon be in the perfect condition to try to conceive. It’s definitely not worth trying if there is any doubt as it’s too expensive, intrusive and heartbreaking to risk it not being optimal conditions for a baby.

No good news here either I’m afraid. 🙁 I caved in and tested Sunday morning (day 12 post IUI) as I really thought something was going on in there. I got a BFN, and it turns out that the something going on was actually AF arriving! So that’s game over for this cycle and I guess ill look on it as a practice run - what with all the problems with the fridge and medication and generally getting to grips with what needs to be done when. I’m really disappointed of course, even though KNEW statistically it was almost guaranteed to be negative, I still had hope in my heart that it would magically work first time and the whole ordeal of TTC would be over! Yeah right - how’s that for optimism 😂

It seems I had been cruelly tricked by the medication side effects and the signs of impending AF into believing that I may have tender boobs/nausea/cramps/exhaustion because of a pregnancy! I was SO convinced that I felt different than usual, (although realistically I knew that I didn’t have some of the pregnancy symptoms people mention like lots of cervical mucus and bad headaches etc) - but now I realise that obviously I’d injected lots of hormones which probably changed how I would normally feel. Particularly the ovitrelle (which is actually hcg) is probably the reason I felt some physical pregnancy symptoms (although I had not seen mention of possible false pregnancy feelings/symptoms as a side effect of the ovitrelle). I had a lots of mild cramping in the afternoon and evenings following the IUI, and then my usually ferocious appetite just disappeared after a few days post IUI leaving me feeling very tired and nauseous for a week which was very suspicious to me. After mistaking these for pregnancy signs and realising I had got tricked by AF I spent most of Sunday evening sobbing into a boring cup of stupid decaff tea and being cruelly teased by AF which was seemingly attempting to disembowel me from within!

I found calculating when to expect my AF after the trigger and IUI/ovulation day rather unclear and confusing. I feel like I wasn’t expecting AF to arrive right on my regular predicted date as i incorrectly assumed that the AF date would have changed because the trigger was done on cycle day 15 and the Iui/ovulation was day 16. I thought I would still have 14 days after IUI/ovulation before AF would be expected. Indeed the consultant told me to test after 14 days after the IUI. So I’m glad I was naughty and tested ‘early’ at day 12 post IUI, as at least then I knew that I hadn’t been pregnant at all before I started my AF and therefore there was no chemical pregnancy. So now looking forward again with a bit of dread And being a glutton for punishment, we are trying again and booked straight onto IUI round 2. Baseline scan on day 3 is booked for Wednesday.

@TheAdventureStartsHere thank you. I am sorry to hear about your IUI that did not work this time. Hope it will definitely work next time. Fingers crossed for you.

@TheAdventureStartsHere I’m so sorry to hear about your bfn, hope the second cycle has this far been less eventful. My clinic want me to have a month off between cycles (assuming I ever actually get there) but sequential cycles seem to be the norm so I will ask them about this.

I have had a true crapper of a time, thank you for saying it, sometimes having it acknowledged is helpful. My consultant said to me “everything happens for a reason, this cycle clearly wasn’t the right one to start on.” At the time I thought “well yea... because my lining has the staying power of tarmac, not for any other reason.” But then Thursday I had a fever all day. I basically lay on the sofa unable to do anything but with not a single symptom other than the fever. I took paracetamol, drank lots of water and thought I’d see how it played out. The next day I had a sore throat and the Classic hot potato voice. So I booked to see gp - and got my dad to take me because I couldn’t drive as despite paracetamol and ibuprofen my fever was going nowhere. Turns out I have tonsillitis. So now I’m on antibiotics and I can’t help but think maybe she was a bit right about there being a “reason!”

My dads aunt visited today. She always visits just before Christmas. I’d been stopping with mum and dad due to the tonsillitis. Anyway she was fussing the dogs and said to mum “I think these are your grandchildren, k10f1 doesn’t seem to be making much effort in that department.” I honestly did a little laugh inside and imagined saying “yes.. just a bit of surgery, the purchase of sperm, a few trips to fertility specialists....” Didn’t obviously....

@K10f1 How are you feeling? Hope that the tonsillitis is getting better! Sounds like your body was telling you that you need to take some time to slow down and rest! And as rubbish as it seems yes it’s does sound like a ‘reason’ that it’s a good job that you couldn’t proceed this cycle! Fingers crossed for your next cycle when you are back to full health! And I’m sure it will help for you to relax and enjoy any festivities knowing that you aren’t pregnant now but also that you have plans to start trying very soon. Sending you thin endometrial lining thoughts!
Your dads aunt sounds like she doesn’t think before she opens her mouth! People can be so hurtful without even realising it! We’ve heard all sorts and even when people know that you are looking into fertility treatment they still say - I thought you would be pregnant already, don’t you want kids 🙄🤦‍♀️I try to take it with a pinch of salt as I realise that people don’t know how hard it can be for some women to conceive. I’ve said for years that women shouldn’t get asked when they are going to have kids etc. Even as a joke as you never know what struggles people are having or how many failed attempts or pregnancy losses that they may have had! Besides that I think that dogs are fabulous grandchildren in the meantime! I’ve left mine with the dog sitter for the weekend as I have a lot of travel and a busy social schedule this weekend- and they would prefer to be lounging at home- but I miss them already!

We should probably have skipped an attempt this cycle ourselves for practicality - although it hasn’t been said to us medically. In summary so far, I’ve had all my medications upped/increased in regularity, new meds added(Metformin) and 5g folic acid, the suggestion of possible PCOS/a little fibroid/fimbrial and cervical cysts mentioned, and so many injections and vaginal ultrasounds! Feeling a bit jaded and bemused here, and regretting rushing around with appointments clashing with work and Christmas/family obligations. Our local satellite clinic is not able to see us again for two weeks due to staff having Xmas leave so we are having to drive every other day for scans - we had one today and are now booked in for scan 5 on Monday. Work are starting to get suspicious that I need so much time off for doctors appointments in the lead up to Christmas as I think they think I’m just going shopping or getting my hair done despite me saying it’s for personal medical reasons 😫🙄

I think im up to injection 12 already - but I’m now proficient at administering them to myself and I don’t go so faint and wobbly anymore! 🤦‍♀️ I had to do three injections, one after the other yesterday, as they asked me to use the medication pen until it was completely empty and it only delivered half the shot. So I tried again but it wouldn’t deliver the rest of the shot (it was empty!) so I had to open a new pen and deliver the remaining amount in a third shot 😩 but the positive outcome is that I still have one follicle growing very slowly on my left side and so we are still able to proceed at this point (a relief - as earlier they were worried about over stimulating my many tiny follicles and abandoning this cycle!). Now I’ve got two family Xmas parties to endure this weekend whilst trying not to be suspiciously sober - as my family love to drink but don’t know that I’m being sober as I’m trying to conceive! Looks like all my favourite gin and tonics will be off the menu this Xmas as our IUI attempt will be next week! So please have a cocktail for me everyone who can! Wishing you all a happy and healthy festive season with lots of baby dust for everyone! ❄️⛄️🌲🥳

@TheAdventureStartsHere how are you? Sounds like you’ve had a very diagnostic time, which can feel overwhelming so I hope you’re ok. Are you freshly inseminated? I’m back to health and have three more working days until Christmas (Saturday then the 23rd/24th). It feels like it’s really snuck up on me. My AF ended up lasting 17 days (although mega light at the end) so here’s hoping for a better chance next month. I’m on northisterone now instead of provera. The consultant just seemed to prefer it and frankly I’ll pretty much do as I’m told. I’m also getting back on metformin, I stopped it when I was ill, it really is awful stuff isn’t it. Getting all sorts of lower back pains/bloating with the norethisterone. I find I’m talking to someone at work and also rubbing my own lower back at the same time. I keep catching myself doing it and think “this must look really weird.” But it feels good to be doing something. And I keep telling myself I’m already 4 days in to this. For the first time in my life I’m excited for January. I’ve told work I’ll likely need time off for scans in January but at the moment I don’t know when it will be. I tried to book some annual leave to try an minimise the disruption but it was turned down because the oncall rota came out just after I put in the request. So I guess I’ll be causing all sorts of problems, and feeling the associated guilt, but I do think at least because they know what I’m doing it’s slightly easier, and the medics at least understand that basically if the clinic say they want me I have to say yes, otherwise there’s literally no point.

Sorry you’re having to commute for the main clinic, but I’m glad the injections are getting easier. Missing out in a G&T is annoying but it will all be worth it in the end. My cousin is now over due with her baby. Her midwife is planning a sweep Christmas Eve. I was horrified. Why would you plan to do something like that Christmas Eve?! Anyway it may be a very baby Christmas this end... when is your test date?