#makeithappen TTC through Donor IUI or Donor IVF or just undecided. All welcome. Thread 12

[ButtonMooooon]

New thread, hope you don't mind I started a new one Kwick

Hello, I hope everyone is doing well.

I haven't updated on this thread for ages as it's mostly a happy hopeful thread and my story so far is not very happy.

I became pregnant after my second cycle of medicated donor IUI in March 2018. This pregnancy resulted in a prolonged and traumatic miscarriage. My third cycle in July 2018 resulted in a chemical pregnancy. I moved on to IVF and became pregnant again but miscarried again just under 3 weeks ago. I'm feeling a bit bruised and broken, where do I go from here?

@ButtonMooooon haha yeah it's easy for us to dish out the advice isn't it, but not so easy for us to take it ourselves!

@TinyPaws I'm so sorry to hear of your difficult time. Are you thinking you'll try IVF again? What is your fertility issue? X

I have a female partner, hence donor sperm is required.

We have 1 frozen embryo from our last cycle, but I want to get some recurrent miscarriage tests done before we use that.

Ahh I see.
Have you researched natural killer cells/immune issues? I know nothing about them so could be completely off the mark, but have heard them mentioned in respect of recurrent miscarriage.

Yeah, I requested prednisolone prior to my last IVF cycle but the clinic declined. Considering changing clinic.

I think maybe a consultation with another clinic might not be a bad idea - fresh set of eyes and all that.

Test day for me tomorrow. Shitting a brick. Convinced it hasn't worked but I'm too scared to see the BFN 😢

@TinyPaws please don't feel like you can't post, we are all here for everyone for the good and bad times

@jemimafuddleduck good luck for tomorrow 🤞

@TinyPaws I’m really sorry to hear this. Do you have an idea of the referral timeframe etc for tests/clinic? All you can do in the mean time is be kind to yourself and make good use of the support you have at home.

@jemimafuddleduck good luck for today. We have no restraint and just can’t stop ourselves from testing early even though we know it won’t change the outcome and could just lead to further heartache. How do people manage to wait? Any tips would be appreciated! Our OTD is the 4th, not the 5th as I originally thought.

It's a bfn for me. I'm heartbroken and can't stop crying. Poor DH is also sad and doesn't know what he can do to help - there's nothing, of course, that he can do.

Oh @jemimafuddleduck I am so sorry to hear that, I really had everything crossed for you

Thanks @Sallly1 and @ButtonMooooon. We're both just feeling a bit lost.

It's OTD today (11dp5dt) - BFN again as expected. I've spoken to the clinic and they've told me to keep going with meds until Friday then take another test, if negative then stop. Seems a bit pointless but whatever.
They've booked me in to see the dr but can't get an appointment til 2nd Feb. Would you ask to see someone else or just wait? We've only actually met our dr twice as all car was done through the nurses?!

Oh @jemimafuddleduck - I'm so sorry to read that you didn't get your BFP. It's an all-consuming, devastating place to be.

I got my BFN in early December and was told I had to wait until 31st January for my review appointment, so I'm wondering if we're with the same group of clinics. I think it's terrible that we have to wait so long and I wonder if there's a slightly cynical reason they won't see us sooner . . .

@RedPandaFluff yes it is, isn't it 😢 I just can't stop crying. I had expected a BFN but it doesn't make it any easier.
I'm with BCRM, who are you with?
I've spoken to DH and he's going to call them in a bit. I don't see why we need to see the same doctor - we've only met her twice (although she was lovely). And tbh why we even need an appointment!! Not sure why we can't discuss it with a dr over the phone?! We're still technically under NHS so they won't be getting paid for it (yet!)

@Sallly1 that's great news, it's so good to feel like things are moving isn't it?
The clinic have told me to keep taking the meds and test again Friday- I don't really see the point but whatever, I'll do it.
I've spoken (or rather, cried at!) the doctor this afternoon and she's put us back on the waiting list for donor eggs. So how's it's a case of waiting again (and saving up!).

It became clear that my cycle was going to result in miscarriage on 5th December and I have to wait 2 1/2 months for my review appointment!

I've been referred to recurrent miscarriage clinic and the wait is more than 3 months.

Why does everything have to take so long?!

@jemimafuddleduck Sorry to hear about your BFN, it really sucks. :(

@TinyPaws thanks. Yeah it's rubbish isn't it, why everything has to take so long. For me, the constant waiting and wishing your life away until the next appointment etc is the worst thing about this whole process.
Is there any way you can get an earlier appointment? 2 1/2 months seems completely unacceptable! I asked to speak to my (fertility) dr on the phone and she called me the same day, rather than having to wait a month.

@LillyLeaf sorry to hear your scan wasn't straightforward. Hopefully the fact that there WAS a heartbeat is a positive sign. It's going to be a long, anxious week for you though, you poor thing x

@jemimafuddleduck sorry to hear your news. I hope you’re both being good to yourselves and managing it as well as possible.

Thanks for the well wishes @Sally1 We tested early as we couldn’t stop ourselves even though we knew it was a bad idea. We got positive results but have been having bleeding from yesterday so are thinking that this may have been a chemical pregnancy as it’s different to our last experience of implantation bleeding with the pregnancy which resulted in our little one. It’s just a case of waiting it out unfortunately. This has been a sharp reminder about how helpless the process makes you feel and how scary the whole thing is even when you do become pregnant.

Thanks @Sally1 we’re just continuing to wait currently. We spoke to the clinic and they said that we has these options 1) wait for the scan which they recommended 2) have a blood test if we want 3) have two blood tests if we feel the need - the costs of the blood tests are nothing in comparison to fertility treatment but are additional costs and take time from work. We’re unsure of what to do. On one hand none of this will change the outcome but would either help us accept that we’ve been unsuccessful now and avoid having to find out via scan later which would probably be more difficult if AF doesn’t show up before then (three weeks). Any thoughts?