#makeithappen TTC through Donor IUI or Donor IVF or just undecided. All welcome. Thread 11

[kwick]

This thread is for anyone trying to conceive... or thinking about doing so through donor IUI or donor IVF. Nothing TMI - feel free to join, we are a lovely group here to support and help keep the cray-cray away!

Here is the link to the previous thread
Thread 9
Thread 8

Thread 7

Thread 6
Here is the link to the one before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2832207--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2769549-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen-loadsofBFPs
Here is the link to the thread before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2688511-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2587046-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
And the one before that!: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1877198-Donor-IUI

We also have a weight loss spin off thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2889818-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-weight-loss-spin-off-thread

Congrats tiny! That's fantastic news! Fingers crossed lrd hope you get your bfp now! wish this snow would go away I hope clinic is open tomorrow I'm still bleeding it had gone brown so thought I was OK now bright red again :( nurse said sometimes your body re starts like from beginning of cycle which would tie in with thin lining at last scan just hope they let me carry on and push through this and re start now but not sure how that will work cs menopur clearly not working if I'm bleeding. Plus only have enough to last til mon so need snow to go away x

Thanks ttc.

Hope it is your body just resetting itself. But how frustrating and stressful! Fingers crossed the snow stops and you get in to the clinic where they can tell you what's going on.

Tiny congrats! Great news, so happy for you.

Ttc try not to be too worried - trust in what the clinic advises. I know it's devastating when things get delayed - I couldn't have a fresh embryo put back in Dec as I got OHSS and then the frozen cycle has taken much longer than I expected but you have to get your body in the right place to make chance of success highest.

I don't mind it taking ages while I'm injecting n feel like I'm doing something it's if they say no wait a month then come back that's what really stresses me x

I'm the opposite. I hate the injections - waiting is annoying, but at least I can properly relax and tell myself I'm letting my body prepare itself, whereas when I'm injecting I constantly worry about timings. But I think all of us have pet hates about this process!

This isn't exactly medical-related, so I don't know if it's appropriate on this thread. But does anyone else struggle with their partner's attitudes/way of dealing with all of this? DP and I tend to be quite different in how we deal with emotions. She tends to be very positive-thinking, will always refuse to think about the negative side of stuff, and if she talks about miscarriage she'll usually say something like 'well, it'll be for the best, there was probably something wrong anyway'. As someone who had four miscarriages I find this really upsetting, and she knows that.

During this treatment cycle I said I really needed emotional support. She's made a few comments that upset me. When I asked if she was worrying about it at all, she said 'I'm worried you won't cope if you don't get pregnant'. Which, rightly or wrongly, made me feel as if she thought I would overreact, or as if it wasn't normal to be upset. She's said that, if it were her, she'd just put it behind her. This gets on my nerves because, of course, she's never had the experience so even if it's true, she can't know.

I'm on day 13 post IUI and testing negative, so though it's not impossible, it seems quite plausible I'm not pregnant. This morning she 'joked' 'but I'll be angry with you if you don't manage first time'. I don't see how this is funny and it's really got to me. I have said that to her but she just said sorry and then seemed to forget about it - she doesn't think it's any big deal.

I dunno, am I just overreacting? And, if you did have a partner who wasn't on the same wavelength, how did you deal with it?

Sorry for the essay!

Fab news tiny hoping for a lovely sticky bean for you!!

Awe lrd I would really struggle with comments like that too. I'm so sorry about the miscarriages that's really hard and will always be on your mind. I think you have done amazingly well throughout the cycle and celebrating real achievements for your body and knowing it isn't going to be easy road doesn't help so to not have that support from your partner just sucks. Perhaps it's her way of dealing with it which doesn't help you but some people are very dismissive when things go wrong whereas someone of us are more emotive.

This thread is for anything and everything along the way and emotional support is a big thing, at least doing it along I didn't have to
Manage anyone else's expectations just my own. So please keep talking to us about your feelings x

I remember having comments like well it'll be really hard for you if it doesn't work (previous history of depression) -1)it would (& is) be hard for anyone and 2) what do you just not try when things are hard and be miserable because you didn't try

Ttc hope goes ok at the clinic tomorrow

pickle, thank you, that post is exactly what I needed to hear! You're very wise and very kind.

😘 always here for you sweetie x

I'm so sorry for your losses lrd can't imagine how tough they must of been pickle is spot on n I had same comments when I first told people oh it's too stressful for you and for every one else as I told them how stressed I was they saw it as me stressing them out and Yeh the stupid annoying "what's meant to be will be" "you'll get there in the end" " there's no point over reacting " etc etc we are allowed to feel sad it is an incredibly stressful process far more then I ever expected to be honest and it's almost like ttc is this secret world that most people don't know about. Everyone thinks I have given up now as I couldn't handle there negativity and judgement so you guys are my support and my secret club I guess lol I think others deal with things differently maybe it's self preservation and some people can hold it in or maybe they don't feel the pressure so much and pin so much on each scan/week/month etc I don't know but I'm with you on the feeling emotional and as a,woman it feels like something we should be able to do easily that's why I think the injections give me a little control in an otherwise Completey helpless process where I'm dependant on letting my body do the work and not knowing why or what it's doing x

Thanks pickle.

And thanks ttc. I know just what you mean about those sorts of well-meaning comments - not helpful!

But we will all soldier on.

Sorry LRD, that sounds hard. Sometimes it's ok to feel shitty.

Thanks tiny. I feel much better now for letting it all out on this thread, actually.

Now are you enjoying your BFP? How long before you can ring the clinic?

It's still sinking in, thanks for asking! Been googling pregnancy related things on and off all day. Must have looked at the test at least 10 times! I'm aware it's very early days so aiming for cautious optimism. Physically feeling quite rough - had headache and fatigue since Wednesday and nausea since Friday, but pretty happy.

I guess rough is at least a sign your body's definitely adapting to it all! But hope it calms down soon, too.

It's really nice when someone gets a success.

Good luck for today ttc! What time is your appointment

Thanks just had it I'm out this month again :( bleeding still lining gone and only tiny follies so got to wait till next period for another try at higher dose which could be ages as this is now day one of a new cycle but got norithestone incase. Also may get charged a 200 pound cancellation fee even though it wasn't me who cancelled! Feel gutted but not as bad as first time as you kind of get used to expecting bad news. Just hate my body right now lol x

Oh, that's really bad about the cancellation fee! Surely they should not do that?!

I am pretty sure I'm out too - I have to test tomorrow for the clinic, but first response is coming up negative and it would be showing by now. I don't feel crampy yet but imagine it'll be a few days.

Still, I've been super-healthy this month so hopefully my follicles will be in great shape for next time, and I can only imagine that not contending with a cold, some frantic househunting and a huge work deadline just might help with reducing my levels of stress!

Sorry TTC that sucks!

I hope everyone grows some excellent follicles!

Ah ttc I'm sorry sweetie x

Ah lrd I'm trying to stay positive and take a leaf out of your book I'm starting healthy eating and fitness going to try get healthy as I can ready for next month plus is a good focus and distraction really sorry about your news this month fingers crossed next month will be ours! X

We'll be cycle buddies.

Actually, now you are making me feel positive, because I was feeling down this morning. Thanks.

Ok, wise women: what do I do?

I'm expecting my period in the next day or so. I'd have to start injecting myself on day 3, and the pen has to be kept in the fridge. The thing is, I'm going to a family event at the weekend, and staying over at my parents' from tomorrow. I really, really don't want to let them know we're trying - they're nice about it but it's an extra stress I just don't need.

How do I get the pen there, and keep it cold?! I am thinking presumably it's not that sensitive or the clinic would make us put it in a cool box to take it home (and they don't - they just say to put it in the fridge at home). So I guess I can just put it in the car to travel up, for a couple of hours? Then, would you just leave it in the car and assume it'll stay cool-ish in this weather, or would you sneak it into the fridge and hope no one finds it?

I swear, my teenage years hiding my WKD blue/contraband snickers from my mother were so much easier!

really depends on the medication- the only one I had to keep in the fridge was pregnyl and it came delivered from medicines people in a cooled truck and I had to put and keep in fridge straight away and couldn't stay out. All others were fine out of fridge but really is based on what the medication is.
This is def worth asking the clinic for their advice so you don't do anything wrong as some really do "die" if not refrigerated

It's gonal f. The clinic say to keep in the fridge, but they don't give you cold packs or anything, and when I googled it seems to be suggesting it's not really a big issue. I guess I am just worrying too much! I can ask the clinic, that's a good idea.