TTC - First time home insemination

[libbyidk]

First time posting so bare with me.

We are in a same sex relationship, and I just thought i'd share our story so far to see if anyone else is going through the same or has any advice/tips for myself and my partner.

We first went to a private clinic, and payed hundreds for scans, blood tests, screening etc, only to be told my partner couldn't donate her eggs (we were counting on this as it lowers the price by about 3-4000 pounds!), we were then told we should try IUI at the clinic which would cost us about 2-3000 pounds. We went home after this appointment and had a chat, we decided to try home insemination first, and if it doesn't work after 2 times, we will then go back to the clinic, but I wasn't finding them very helpful, and they were quite rude to us!

We searched online for sperm banks and came across cryos in denmark. We researched all the legal complications and know all about it, and decided as so many people do try this, we were going to as well. We ordered our anonymous washed donor sperm (MOT20) 2 vials (all we could afford.)

It arrived on tuesday (it lasts for 7 days in a nitro tank), and I started using the clear blue dual hormone predictor kit. I also use a fertility app and have been vaguely monitoring my cervical mucas. I tested negative from monday (the start of my fertility window) until yesterday (friday) i went straight from negative to peak on the clear blue monitor! I researched this to make sure it was right and I saw that a lot of people go straight from low to peak, especially if they missed their surge (which i may have done). The app also said I was due to have peak fertility friday and saturday, so i'm confident in the test and we decided to inseminate one vial on friday at 6pm (8 hours after my positive result) and we inseminated again on sunday at 6am. Just before I had the insemination, I was getting pretty bad cramps and I think ovulation may have started, although i'm not 100%. I got some cramp after inseminating too.

Frozen sperm lives in the body for 12-24 hours (apparantly) but some swimmers can last longer. So we inseminated at 6pm which will cover me (hopefully) until 6pm saturday, whilst also inseminating at 6am saturday which would cover me until 6am (hopefully) sunday. We sat and talked constantly about the timing but we just decided to go for it, as like everybody says, even if the timing is perfectly right and your CM is perfect, there is still only a 10-20% chance of conception.

I'm just praying my clearblue test was correct and my peak is friday and saturday like it shows. (My app also shows this like i said). I have a 29 day cycle and it's hardly EVER irregular, so I think we've done all what we should have.

Now we're onto our two week wait which i'm not looking forward to! Like I keep saying to myself, it is our first time trying and we could have done a number of things wrong. It is just trial and error from here on out! If anyone else wants to share their story about home insemination with frozen sperm, using clearblue monitors / success stories, i would really appreciate that!

I hope the gynae surgery goes well. I needed a polyp removed before the clinic would take me on for IUI. Thought I'd give home insemination a go for a few months before going back.

@bitheby it's a tough one isn't it, a positive and a negative in one hit. We found the polyp through testing at the Hewitt centre in Liverpool, and we are the same, clinic want the polyp out and tubes flushed/inspected before we go for IUI. Can't complain though, it's all free and we only went early February for our first consult then procedure is in two weeks! 12 week follow up in May!. My partner will have her first IUI June. all goes well.

I'm only TTC until her turn again in June. We thought we would maximise our chances with using both wombs lol 😆 I have Endo so don't have much hope for me.

Hope you are feeling okay.

Wow! That's good. I'm glad she has her date. I didn't want to say anything but I was told a 6 month waiting list and waited nearly 2 years. Have been tearing my hair out. Think my local hospital is nearly in special measures and apparently the consultant left and I fell in the gap between him and the new one.

Anyway... had the procedure on 1st Feb so this was the first month that I could try.

Found a lovely donor, at the second attempt. First one had an unexpected bereavement and had to drop out.

My fertility journey has been pretty much like that. Thinking that I'm finally on track and finding another hurdle. I'm bisexual - hence the username - and started seeing a guy around the time that the polyp was found. Explained the situation, thought he was on board with me trying to get pregnant. Turned out he was quite happy for me to try... just not with him as he'd had a vasectomy and didn't think to tell me straight away

If this finally works I will be completely amazed. It's been a long journey with plenty of twists since spending most of my 40th in tears at being single and childless.

Now that I'm a week or so away I have questions:

• Just finishing my period so have decided to track ovulation from tomorrow. Will use the Clearblue first thing, and the other strips morning, lunchtime-ish and evening.
• Have ordered three straws, so was planning on doing it at 12 hour intervals. If I get a smiley first thing or lunchtime I was going to start that evening, if I don't get a smiley til the evening I was going to start the next morning. Does this seem sound?

• You talk about soft cups - can I use my MoonCup or do I need the soft ones? (Was going to inject in then use a cup to keep stuff in place.)

• I presume DP joining in isn't going to cause a reaction? (He's sterile, so no sperm from him.)

• Is it better to put Preseed in me, mix it with the sperm (having warmed it to body temperature first) or both?

@TimeIhadaNameChange

• tracking wise I would stick with using OPKs first then confirm with a digital, only that Clearblue can't show you the progression and are best used to tell you when you are peak, as far as telling you how close you are to peak they are pretty crap, they can flash for days before your peak and you won't know how close you are. best way of confirming ovulation is temping, which you can start now. You won't know you have ovulated until after the fact when your temp goes up but it means you will know if you inseminated at the right time. And then during your TWW temping can be used to highlight potential implantation and then when AF is likely to start.

• I use a soft cup because the plastic film can be "sucked up" onto your cervix creating a nice seal (orgasm sucks it up the best) but it's not necessary to do that so don't fret, a moon cup can't adjust to your cervix like a soft cup can and you risk having the semen pool at the bottom of the cup. Your husband can defo help by getting you to orgasm. Sex also increases blood flow to the uterus which creates a cozy sperm waiting room lol.

• as for using preseed, it depends on how much cervical mucous you make closer to ovulation, if you make a lot then don't worry so much about preseed, natural mucous is way better than artificial. If you are naturally quite dry then defo put a small amount in you and let it warm.

• do you use an app like premom or glow to upload your OPK's? It's so handy to be able to see your progression.

Good luck you two xoxo baby dust!!!!!

@bitheby

You poor thing, I can't believe they made you wait that long, lost in the mess of the hospital, what a joke. How long did it take to recover from the polyp removal? I hope this works for you too!

@TimeIhadaNameChange
Exciting times!
I've been tracking on my days ap for years, I find it good for me..

More recently I've been taking trying for a baby folic acid daily, and also using clear blue digital (purple ones) as I could get the hang of cheapies, now I have the hang of it I eject and keep the sticks so I can see the line progression, I can usually see pretty accurately when my surge is coming doing this, as the lines both get darker, I ovulate later than I had thought so get 6 days high before my solid smiley so keep going even if you think it's never going to happen!

I'm using frozen and after some reading have used preseed this month to give them a bit more help.

2nd month for me so now in 2ww so we shall see!

Good luck x

Dosmamas - thanks for all the advice. I have been temping for the last month - lost my old thermometer so bought a fancy I-can-speak-to-your-phone one, used that for a month then lost it within 24 hours (had been keeping it under my pillow but there's no sign). Found my old one the next day, where it should have been (and where I'd looked many times), so I don't know what's going with them. I'm not sure how accurate it is but never mind! I shall continue taking my temp and seeing what that tells me.

• I've ordered some soft cups. They'll be here on Wed so I have time to practise putting on in (I'm assuming it'll be slightly different to my MoonCup).

• I have OPK strips, that's what I was going to use thrice daily, as I've the surge can be a blink and you miss affair. I got a sample pot from my vet at the weekend so I can keep my midday test in for 3-5 mins without hogging the staff loo now stinking my office out! I'll keep the ClearBlue ones for verification rather than indication.

• I have the Femometer app so will upload the OPK strips onto that (am tempted by the ClearBlue I-can-speak-to-your-phone one, but am being sensible and sparing myself that expense!).

• Will reconsider the Preseed.

As I said, thanks! Really useful info.

Good luck, Freezerbump - I have my fingers crossed for you, and will be joining you in a 2WW towards the end of next week. Let's hope it's good news for both of us!

@TimeIhadaNameChange
Thankyou! I'm less neurotic this time I think, have one more go after this before I think about whether to try more intrusive, or whether to just make peace with it, so what will be will be :)

@TimeIhadaNameChange I hope you have a successful cycle! I practised with preseed in the soft cup, I put loads in it, more than a man could produce and was surprised that I managed to get it in clean with no spillages or leakage. Just before I went to get the donation from my donor I did it again with a small amount of Preseed and left it in until I swapped it over with the fresh sample. I'm 5dpo so have no idea if it worked, but in terms of it being a clean process with no wastage it was very successful with the soft cup. 👍🏻

There are good videos on YouTube and Pinterest about getting the soft cup in. The trick for me was pushing back and down rather than what I was used to with tampons being up towards the navel. 🤞🏼🤞🏼

@Freezerbump good luck 👍🏻🤞🏼✨

How many DPO are you?

@bitheby there is an amazing Facebook group for queer people TTC so much knowledge and experience on there, they have been a godsend for me the past few weeks. Especially when I almost cancelled my donor and they were like "nooo you dolt, your timing is perfect go now!!"

@dosmamas Thank you! I've sent a join request.

Will allow me to leave the sperm donor groups that frequently get tetchy. I didn't find my donor via Facebook in the end anyway.

@Dosmamas only 2dpo so an age to go yet, had a bonkers dream last night though so who knows!

Let's hope the strange dream is a good sign, Freezerbump!

I've had notification that my package is on it's way!!!! Currently in Cyprus. Am getting very excited!

@TimeIhadaNameChange
Exciting times!! You'll prob get it tomorrow in that case so get prepping!

Anything I can help with just shout, freaked me out a bit the first time!

Thanks, Freezerbump! It's due to arrive on Friday, so arriving tomorrow would be very quick indeed (it has to cross the wilds of Scotland so I can quite believe it'll take a few extra days to get here).

I'll be back with more questions, I'm sure. DP's insisting on helping, so I'm leaving the technicalities up to him. I'm just stressing about missing the oportune time. I should be ovulating on Tuesday so I'm thinking Monday pm, Tuesday am and Tuesday pm but I'll see when my LH levels rise. I can only really afford to do it once (for now, at least) so it's rather all or nothing. In a way I'm glad, though, as I think I'd exhaust myself going through this every month. Plus, I know my odds are very low so I'm fairly resigned to it not working (whilst trying to do everything I can to increase the chances).

@Freezerbump bonkers in a good way? I had a BFP dream @2dpo, I have never dreamt about BFPs before.

@TimeIhadaNameChange

Last time I did evening after first solid smiley ( I think I surge pm/ evening as the day before is always super close when I check the lines with fmu) and then evening after having followed instructions... was neg, although the palaver I had first go I'm not sure any was left up there! (TMI..)

This time, after having read some more research and having unusually sore boobs I did one late evening with 1 day flashing smiley before peak, then did 1 first peak, one second..

My surge only shows up for that 1 day and I'm back to clear negative the day after.. so thought I'd give it a go earlier.. also used preseed. If only we all came with clear instructions on when to do it for us.. I think you can read as much as you like but then throw a bit of gut feeling in for good measure!

@dosmamos 3dpo now, super vivid dream that I was really in to.. was disappointed to wake up, although I can't remember what it was about now.. I don't usually dream about anything! Bbs really big this month, but unrelated I think as started pre ov, and surprise creamy cm today.. meh, will know in a couple of weeks I guess

Good luck lovely! Shout if you need anything, nothings too odd a question! :)

I'm 7DPO tomorrow. Noticing every twinge but I can't say that there's anything concrete yet that gives me firm hope. I have never scrutinised my breasts for veins so often ever before! I did spot one that I'm not sure is usually so obvious but as it's likely to be pre-implantation, then probably unrelated anyway.

Am willing something that might not even actually exist to thrive and survive. Whole thing is a headf...

Anyway. Nearly one week down. Has actually gone pretty quickly.

@bitheby

It's hard not to spot isn't it, promised I wouldn't this time, just wait it out, I think I'm so overtuned with every body twinge now I dunno whether it's something or nothing!

Reading your journeys is super helpful!

@bitheby I don't have anything concrete either except cramps that feel 100% like AF Is on its way, I'm due on 20th March but looking at my period tracker I seem to log cramps up to a week before AF starts. Hate these cramps too. They are the pressure/pulling type ones that just won't go away.

@Freezerbump it's so hard isn't it, trying to keep in control and stop yourself from going mad. This TWW I have had two blazing BFP dreams, last night the BFP was so strong the pink dye started to leak from the test and drip all down my hand and onto the floor. That's what I want to see happen! 😂

@Dosmamas I'm not optimistic I don't think.. although (tmi) mucho creamy cm today.. which is unusual and bloated to button busting levels! Not due af until tues an usually get a bit of cm before but not this much :/ maybe it's coming early

@Freezerbump I have had that today! Small amount only but after two days of nothing it wasn't unwelcomed. I'm always bloated so can't really include that in my symptom spotting 😂 I'm going test on Saturday when I'm 10dpo, how about you?