TTC - First time home insemination

[libbyidk]

First time posting so bare with me.

We are in a same sex relationship, and I just thought i'd share our story so far to see if anyone else is going through the same or has any advice/tips for myself and my partner.

We first went to a private clinic, and payed hundreds for scans, blood tests, screening etc, only to be told my partner couldn't donate her eggs (we were counting on this as it lowers the price by about 3-4000 pounds!), we were then told we should try IUI at the clinic which would cost us about 2-3000 pounds. We went home after this appointment and had a chat, we decided to try home insemination first, and if it doesn't work after 2 times, we will then go back to the clinic, but I wasn't finding them very helpful, and they were quite rude to us!

We searched online for sperm banks and came across cryos in denmark. We researched all the legal complications and know all about it, and decided as so many people do try this, we were going to as well. We ordered our anonymous washed donor sperm (MOT20) 2 vials (all we could afford.)

It arrived on tuesday (it lasts for 7 days in a nitro tank), and I started using the clear blue dual hormone predictor kit. I also use a fertility app and have been vaguely monitoring my cervical mucas. I tested negative from monday (the start of my fertility window) until yesterday (friday) i went straight from negative to peak on the clear blue monitor! I researched this to make sure it was right and I saw that a lot of people go straight from low to peak, especially if they missed their surge (which i may have done). The app also said I was due to have peak fertility friday and saturday, so i'm confident in the test and we decided to inseminate one vial on friday at 6pm (8 hours after my positive result) and we inseminated again on sunday at 6am. Just before I had the insemination, I was getting pretty bad cramps and I think ovulation may have started, although i'm not 100%. I got some cramp after inseminating too.

Frozen sperm lives in the body for 12-24 hours (apparantly) but some swimmers can last longer. So we inseminated at 6pm which will cover me (hopefully) until 6pm saturday, whilst also inseminating at 6am saturday which would cover me until 6am (hopefully) sunday. We sat and talked constantly about the timing but we just decided to go for it, as like everybody says, even if the timing is perfectly right and your CM is perfect, there is still only a 10-20% chance of conception.

I'm just praying my clearblue test was correct and my peak is friday and saturday like it shows. (My app also shows this like i said). I have a 29 day cycle and it's hardly EVER irregular, so I think we've done all what we should have.

Now we're onto our two week wait which i'm not looking forward to! Like I keep saying to myself, it is our first time trying and we could have done a number of things wrong. It is just trial and error from here on out! If anyone else wants to share their story about home insemination with frozen sperm, using clearblue monitors / success stories, i would really appreciate that!

I wouldn't pay too much mind to what the app says @LanieM87 they're an algorithm that uses data to work out probable trends but can't look at you as an individual. Have you used any OPK's to check? I still have my fingers crossed for you.

I have nothing to report, no AF and today is CD 34. I decided not to test yesterday as I do think on ovulated on CD20 so AF will be due tomorrow. Going to test on Wednesday if she hasn't arrived.

As Waiting says, @LanieM87, don't take too much notice of the app. One month I was expecting to ovulate on the Saturday, had delivery arriving Thursday. Femometer decided I ovulated on the Tuesday which was gutting as I hadn't had the goods then, so insem that month was very lackluster. It then kept telling my period was late work lots of 'Congratulations, you might be pregnant!' messages, but going by when my period was due (ignoring the apparent early ovulation) it was on track.

Period arrived as expected. App THEN decides to change its mind and tells me I ovulated on the Saturday! That month would have been far less stressful without that bloody app!!!!!

@Waiting2BAMummy - any sign of the witch?

I'm doing OK. Felt awful at the end of last week - streaming nose but congested so unable to breathe or sleep, and feverish. DP decided I had a temp so got me to strip, but was then worried when I was still like that an hour later. Usually I'm covered in blankets so it was really unusual for me. Am much better now, though still sniffly. Have lost weight which is possibly not surprising considering how little I've eaten. It'll be going on soon though!

No I've not used any OPKs since last weekend, the wondfo got darker and then by Sunday had lightened back up. So I decided to stop and just wait!

I must say though my temps this weekend would suggest ovulation, but I just can't see that I would be that late! Proof will be in AF I suppose!

I wonder why you've ovulated so late then this month? You've done well not to test mind! I think I would have! Haha. I find it so bizarre that we've both had our bodies play tricks on us!

Not yet @TimeIhadaNameChange. Get some cramping similar to AF (but not as painful) that comes and goes. My left nipple was really sensitive last week but that seems to have passed now too.

I will be testing on Wednesday if AF doesn't arrive by tomorrow.

Sorry to hear you were poorly last week. Glad you're starting to feel better I hope the morning sickness doesn't get you.

Honestly @LanieM87 I have no idea what's going on this month. If I had gotten a positive opk I would be getting excited right now but because I didn't I just think this is a really random cycle.

Hey guys,
Turns out I'm in a little bit of a pickle, I had someone to be my healthcare professional so that I could order some frozen sperm from sellmerdiers but they haven't got back to me since I sent them the form.
I've contacted sellmerdiers as they can sometimes provide a healthcare professional for you for a fee however they got back to my email yesterday to say they don't currently have one they could provide.
I'm stuck with what to do as I need to put in an order pretty soon for it to arrive for next Tuesday. Are any of you guys able to help that are a healthcare professional or have any suggestions that could maybe help.
TIA Kelly

So the witches broomstick has touched down at Waiting2BAMummy.... or is at least circling the runway....

Oh no @Waiting2BAMummy still at least you know this weird cycle is over with and you can get planning for the next!

My AF should be due tomorrow, no real signs of its arrival though. So who bloody knows!

@Kels91 I will reply to you me DM tonight

So sorry to hear that, @Waiting2BAMummy. What a bummer! Hope your next cycle is less stressful and more succesful.

Thank you @TimeIHadaNameChange and @LanieM87.

I'm moving at the end of August so not sure if I should give it a miss this month but I don't really want to.

@Waiting2BAMummy I don't think you need to give it a miss if you don't want too! The move might give you something else to focus on as well! I'd give it a go if your donor is available!

I've messaged him @LanieM87 but I was thinking now that my cycle has moved there was another really nice donor who couldn't help because my cycle always fell when he was working (he works away). Now that might not be the case.

Would it be wrong to use both of them? if I had 3 days of donations from one and 3 from the other I'm covering an entire 6 day period.

Did af show up for you @LanieM87?

Hmm I think it would be, if I'm honest @Waiting2BAMummy as then you'll have paternity issues and if you want your child to be able to contact the donor when they are of age, that might present a problem! But I can understand your reasoning!

Nope - I'm officially late now if I ovulated as normal. Been feeling queasy and super tired, but achey, so I feel AF will make an appearance in a couple of days. Natural cycles has AF arrived next Wednesday, if I did indeed ovulate late as suspected! So I'm not gonna bother testing. My chances are very slim.

I'm not sure I do want them to be able to contact the donor @LanieM87 but I am conflicted on this as I don't really feel that's my decision to make. That said we don't really know these men any more than the contact we have with them (or there profile on a site) so I'm not sure how much I want them to have involvement in their life. This is something I have plenty of time to figure out though I guess. My current donor has replied to say he is happy to help this month so I've decided I'm not giving it a miss just because I'm moving - just means the removal guys will be lifting everything!

If you're anything like me you'll be so ready to see the back of this cycle. In some strange way I was glad to see AF as I knew I wasn't pregnant and I just wanted to be able to move onto the next cycle so I could start trying again.

I think I might actually love my donor a little bit (I am kidding). He said he is happy to help this month and I asked him if he had heard of the SMEP (I briefly explained how it works) he said he had heard of something similar and is happy to give it a try! I'm not starting on CD8 though as the earliest I've ever gotten a positive is CD13 so he's coming over a week on Saturday and then I expect to get my positive on the Monday so he will visit Monday Tuesday and Wednesday or whatever days I get my positive but I'm not going to give up testing this time.

This is my month June baby here I come!!

*May baby even!

I know what you mean! @Waiting2BAMummy I agonised over non-anon and anon, I'd hate to think that I couldn't provide any answers should there be questions from a child. I mean nothing is ever totally anon these days with all the DNA testing you can do.

Oh wow! Sounds like you've got a really good donor! It's great that's he's willing to come over throughout your window! Perks of having him close by I suppose! Definitely sounds like it's going to be your month!

Absolutely! I really want to draw a line under the disappointment of this month. I think I'll probably end up giving August a miss and just see if my cycle returns to "normal" I don't want to spend that money to find that I don't have my usual cycle again!

It's crazy @LanieM87 and even more so that we both had it this month.

I know though, that @TimeIhadaNameChange needs some buddies in the bump club so our bodies need to get themselves together!

I won't have time for obsessing over the TWW I'll have too much packing to do. Would be amazing to get my BFP just after I move in.

I hope you can move on to your new cycle soon.

Indeed I do, @Waiting2BAMummy! There are loads of people on the Pregnancy boards and I don't know any of them. Waaaah!!!!!

Your donor sounds lovely. How wonderful that he's willing to come (over) so often next month. I really hope it works for you. Are you moving far? Hope the move's not too stressful.

As for the whole Anon / Non-anon debate, I decided I'd rather the child have the choice when their 18 then take it from them completely. If they don't want to pursue it then all well and good, but if they are curious about where half of their genes have come from then they can find out. When I told my mother about the pregnancy she asked about what surname I was going to give it, and told me I should use mine or her maiden name as it is important for the child to have links to its biological family. The fact that I've not seen my closest relatives (after my mother and sibling) for nearly 30 years doesn't count, apparently!
Hope your cycle regulates itself again, @LanieM87. Aren't our bodies pains in the neck when they want to be?

It's not far away @TimeIhadaNameChange but where I live now I have to navigate a set of iron stairs just to get to my front door (I currently live above a restaurant) and I decided that's not a good idea with a baby plus I have no outside space. I'm moving to a flat that is still upstairs but they're just normal house stairs and I have a small garden. It shouldn't be too stressful I am booking a van and 2 men to do all the moving because I'm moving right at the end of my TWW (unless my body has a flip out again) so will hopefully have a little bean growing.

I really didn't expect my donor to say yes to the SMEP but I'm so happy that he did! This is month 10 and I don't like odd numbers so it has to work this time!

How are you feeling now?

I was just thinking about what you were saying about surnames @TimeIhadaNameChange. I actually changed my last name by deed poll last October before I started trying because I was determined my 'family' were going to in no way be part of my child's life, even in name. I took my best friends maiden name, she has been more family to me that the ones who should be have ever been.

Have you decided what you want to do about that? Remember it is YOUR choice no matter what your mother says!

@Waiting2BAMummy - I'm not sure I'm brave enough to change my name. It is something I've thought about many times, but my mother would be devestated.

At one point when we talked about it DP said the child should have his name, despite the fact he hate the fact his oldest GC was given their father's name (because he knew the relationship wouldn't last). I'd love to do that, despite the fact you can encounter problems if the child's surname is different to yours. It did surprise me, because DP likes to keep as much distance between us as possible (and I do understand this) but would have loved to go along with it. Unfortunately he later changed his mind (well, forgot he'd ever said it).

I'm trying to convince myself it will be good for the child to have my name, as it'll be something good coming into the family at long last. My biggest problem is my sibling who has been as determined to keep the name as I am to lose it. She and her spouse have now both got our name, and she thinks it's wonderful! I really don't!

Your new pad sounds lovely! We do have a garden, but it's really not kid-friendly! Knowing DP he'll change that and there'll be a climbing frame and all sorts soon enough!

I guess I'm lucky in that respect @TimeIhadaNameChange I don't have anything to do with my mother so it really doesn't matter whether she approves of my name change or not. That said, she has been married 6 times and changes her name each time so I'm not sure she has much room to comment!

You've got time to figure it out and maybe when you've had scans and start to get a bump DP might feel differently. He might want you both to take his name (I'm not talking marriage but you could change your name to his regardless), what would your mother say about that??

I think this baby is going to be great for you, you will want the best for your tiny human and I think they will bring you the strength you need to be able to make decisions about what you both want/need without the need to worry about what anyone else (especially your mother) thinks.