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Donor conception

For anyone with experience of sperm or egg donation to share support and advice. Please remember this board isn’t for debate about donor conception.

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TTC - First time home insemination

999 replies

libbyidk · 27/08/2017 14:53

First time posting so bare with me.

We are in a same sex relationship, and I just thought i'd share our story so far to see if anyone else is going through the same or has any advice/tips for myself and my partner.

We first went to a private clinic, and payed hundreds for scans, blood tests, screening etc, only to be told my partner couldn't donate her eggs (we were counting on this as it lowers the price by about 3-4000 pounds!), we were then told we should try IUI at the clinic which would cost us about 2-3000 pounds. We went home after this appointment and had a chat, we decided to try home insemination first, and if it doesn't work after 2 times, we will then go back to the clinic, but I wasn't finding them very helpful, and they were quite rude to us!

We searched online for sperm banks and came across cryos in denmark. We researched all the legal complications and know all about it, and decided as so many people do try this, we were going to as well. We ordered our anonymous washed donor sperm (MOT20) 2 vials (all we could afford.)

It arrived on tuesday (it lasts for 7 days in a nitro tank), and I started using the clear blue dual hormone predictor kit. I also use a fertility app and have been vaguely monitoring my cervical mucas. I tested negative from monday (the start of my fertility window) until yesterday (friday) i went straight from negative to peak on the clear blue monitor! I researched this to make sure it was right and I saw that a lot of people go straight from low to peak, especially if they missed their surge (which i may have done). The app also said I was due to have peak fertility friday and saturday, so i'm confident in the test and we decided to inseminate one vial on friday at 6pm (8 hours after my positive result) and we inseminated again on sunday at 6am. Just before I had the insemination, I was getting pretty bad cramps and I think ovulation may have started, although i'm not 100%. I got some cramp after inseminating too.

Frozen sperm lives in the body for 12-24 hours (apparantly) but some swimmers can last longer. So we inseminated at 6pm which will cover me (hopefully) until 6pm saturday, whilst also inseminating at 6am saturday which would cover me until 6am (hopefully) sunday. We sat and talked constantly about the timing but we just decided to go for it, as like everybody says, even if the timing is perfectly right and your CM is perfect, there is still only a 10-20% chance of conception.

I'm just praying my clearblue test was correct and my peak is friday and saturday like it shows. (My app also shows this like i said). I have a 29 day cycle and it's hardly EVER irregular, so I think we've done all what we should have.

Now we're onto our two week wait which i'm not looking forward to! Like I keep saying to myself, it is our first time trying and we could have done a number of things wrong. It is just trial and error from here on out! If anyone else wants to share their story about home insemination with frozen sperm, using clearblue monitors / success stories, i would really appreciate that!

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Freezerbump · 13/03/2019 21:04

@Dosmamas Oo let me know how it goes!

I'm going to leave it until next week this time, they're costly blighters and hopefully I can just occupy myself!
(She says unconvinced..)

Dosmamas · 13/03/2019 21:07

@Freezerbump you must have the will power of an ox! Every time I wee I have to stop myself! Let me know as well. I will post no matter the result..good luck 🤗

Freezerbump · 13/03/2019 21:34

@Dosmamas hardly! I was a nightmare last time but I'm just trying to chill this time, I'll find out one way or the other soon enough ( Although give me a few more days and I'll break I bet!)

bitheby · 13/03/2019 21:40

Spent the whole afternoon walking round looking for some interview trousers. Had prominent veiny boobs which I only know because I checked every time I was in front of a changing room mirror. Checked tonight and nothing so probably was just because I was hot and walking about.

bitheby · 13/03/2019 21:42

Also got the rage several times and am feeling quite tearful tonight but that's probably how I always am.

I'll be 10DPO on Sat too. Hoping to hold off until Sunday.

Moo8879 · 14/03/2019 20:58

Good luck guys, keeping my fingers crossed for you all. I'm back to cycle day 3 again, on to another month 😔

Freezerbump · 15/03/2019 15:02

@TimeIhadaNameChange @bitheby @Dosmamas any news ladies? Felt a bit teary watching river dance people on telly this morning... and might have seen a faint spot just now... I don't think that normally happens.. although I'm not sure I generally scour loo roll for clues either!
Is anyone else going slowly bonkers?

TimeIhadaNameChange · 15/03/2019 15:42

Thanks for asking, Freezerbump. I'm hoping my package is at the house (rural area, posties and couriers tend to just open the door and leave things in the hall, signing for it themselves if necessary). I've been eagerly following the tracking service since Tuesday but have heard nothing since yesterday morning. Very strange!

I can't believe I'll be in your position this time next week. Honestly, I don't think the fact I've actually gone ahead and got this far has really sunk in. I've always wanted to be a mother but I've denied it to everyone for years, including to myself, as I just didn't think I'd ever get the chance. And even though DP and I have been talking about it for over a year it still doesn't seem real. The timing's crap, but I think it always would be.

I don't know how you guys can do it time and again, let alone people who try naturally. I know I'd get unhealthily obsessed if this were happening the usual way. And even trying more than once by home insemination would drive me crazy, so my hat's off to you guys. (Ok, I might try again in a year but I'd wait until the timing is slightly better than it is now!)

Bizarrely, (sorry, TMI coming up) this will be the first time I'll have had sperm in me! Only had one sexual partner, and he had a vasectomy many, many years before meeting me. It's a really weird thought.

Anyway, Freezer, my fingers are firmly crossed for you. And everyone else on this thread.

bitheby · 15/03/2019 21:20

Hi Freezer

I had a job interview today (got made redundant at end of Jan) and the only symptom I had today - upset stomach - could've been due to nerves.

I've been thinking all day that there's no way it worked as I feel nothing. No implantation bleeding. No obvious signs at all.

Trying to hold off trying first FRER until Sunday.

I cried reading the story on the BBC news app about the twins with bronchiolitis last night...

Dosmamas · 15/03/2019 21:50

@Freezerbump heya, 9dpo and I have no symptoms, I have had horrid mood swings since I ovulated so I can't count that as a symptom. I put it down to quitting coffee and my antidepressant cold turkey. Yesterday i had awful cramps and the worst growing pains in my thighs and knees so I tested with a 99p test and went bonkers cause I swore I saw a line but it really was BFN. How are you going??

@bitheby
I can't make my mind up if I'm going to test tomorrow or just wait until I'm due on. I have zero symptoms today. Temps are still above my coverline and my cervix is still high and soft but this is my first month so I don't know what that means lol.

I really hope we get good news this month girls. This has been a long wait. its cheeky me saying this as so many girls try for years but I've been thinking I can't do this again. It's only my first ever cycle and it's so all consuming. I need to bite the bullet and ask my donor for proof of sperm count...

bitheby · 15/03/2019 22:10

It's my first month trying too! I started temping yesterday so today was a slight dip on the day before but I don't know what a cover line is let alone what mine is ConfusedGrin

I've been obsessively buying baby stuff for two years but walked past it all in the supermarket today. Feels like the disappointment will be too real soon.

I'm not sure whether I'll miss next month. Not sure I really want to inflict a near Christmas birthday on a child. Although my ex gf had her birthday on Christmas Day and was ok with it I think.

bitheby · 15/03/2019 22:13

Just did a pregnancy calculator and the due date for my next cycle is Christmas Day...

I wouldn't even know how to find my cervix. I tried in the shower this morning and couldn't feel it. I guess that makes it high???

Dosmamas · 15/03/2019 22:22

@bitheby you have been buying baby stuff! I'm too scared to do that! Even though it's so tempting. I have a Christmas birthday. And I agree it's hard as a kid to feel special on your birthday at Christmas. Sad

bitheby · 15/03/2019 22:23

Where did you find your donor?

Mine used to donate via a clinic so I've seen a letter from the HFEA that proves he has fathered children in the past.

bitheby · 15/03/2019 22:25

Do you know why? When I turned 40 I was distraught about not having children yet and so started buying the stuff to give me hope that one day I would and to keep my focus on track. I'm very good at dismissing my needs/ feelings and this is too important for that.

Obviously I had no idea I'd wait so long for the polypectomy.

I figured I can sell it on if needs be...

Dosmamas · 15/03/2019 22:52

@bitheby oh babe, you poor thing, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry that somehow my partner and I jumped the que. you need to do what helps you get through and if that means buying baby stuff then so be it. You won't need to sell it. You'll have your baby.

Dosmamas · 15/03/2019 23:00

I feel like I'm going crazy here? Can anyone see the faintest line on this test? I took it as I hadn't wee'd all night and thought why not. Wish I hadn't now! Cause I swear I can see something.

TTC - First time home insemination
TTC - First time home insemination
bitheby · 15/03/2019 23:02

@Dosmamas Thank you xx

I remembered I bought some cheap pregnancy test strips in Tesco though. Just read all the instructions and have decided not to test tonight. Might test tomorrow morning. I've got 4 strips at 50p each and then the FRERs (Amazon Warehouse deal - I'm nothing if not frugal).

And you didn't jump the queue. My queue was just inordinately long and I think I was shoved into a queue-de-sac.

bitheby · 15/03/2019 23:04

Do you have the original picture? I'm actually sitting on the loo as I type this. Too late for me to test now GrinGrinGrin

I would've held on if I'd read your message beforehand!

Dosmamas · 15/03/2019 23:05

@bitheby still though, you would think the procedure would be expedited because of your age and your TTC status. Not to be rude but I think that you should be put ahead of say a 25 year old for example.

You are good not testing. I stupidly just tested and now I feel sick and shakey cause I think I see something and I don't know what to do!

Dosmamas · 15/03/2019 23:06

I can't see a thing on the originals 😭

TTC - First time home insemination
TTC - First time home insemination
Freezerbump · 15/03/2019 23:10

Oh girls, don't get down, I've committed to doing this 3 times and if it doesn't work, reassess, maybe it's just not meant to be.. and I'll get a dog!
I started thinking about this years ago when I was 35, then got into a relationship and tried for 3 years before he went over the side and I'm not sure if he had the snip now.
So I took a year getting that sorted, then hit 40 and figured now or never, had a fertility mot and got started!
I'm hopeful but I also figure what will be will be, fingers crossed for you all xx

Dosmamas · 15/03/2019 23:15

@bitheby que-de-sac 😂

@Freezerbump aww same to you, you both must be made of stronger stuff than me. I always give up at the first hurdle. I'm hoping hoping that everything goes so smooth and positive for you xoxo 🤞🏼🤞🏼

bitheby · 15/03/2019 23:25

I think it's too early for us to test so let's try again over the weekend.

My GP was incredibly unsympathetic. Just said that women with suspected cancer were a higher priority (of course) and made me feel guilty for chasing.

Seems I got lost in the system.

Hopefully the timing will be perfect when it happens.

Would be fairytale for me to get a BFP on Monday and a call to say I got the job....

Dosmamas · 15/03/2019 23:38

@bitheby true. It's too early. Maybe tomorow morning for me now with a FRER as I am still convinced there is something showing up on this test!