TTC - First time home insemination

[libbyidk]

First time posting so bare with me.

We are in a same sex relationship, and I just thought i'd share our story so far to see if anyone else is going through the same or has any advice/tips for myself and my partner.

We first went to a private clinic, and payed hundreds for scans, blood tests, screening etc, only to be told my partner couldn't donate her eggs (we were counting on this as it lowers the price by about 3-4000 pounds!), we were then told we should try IUI at the clinic which would cost us about 2-3000 pounds. We went home after this appointment and had a chat, we decided to try home insemination first, and if it doesn't work after 2 times, we will then go back to the clinic, but I wasn't finding them very helpful, and they were quite rude to us!

We searched online for sperm banks and came across cryos in denmark. We researched all the legal complications and know all about it, and decided as so many people do try this, we were going to as well. We ordered our anonymous washed donor sperm (MOT20) 2 vials (all we could afford.)

It arrived on tuesday (it lasts for 7 days in a nitro tank), and I started using the clear blue dual hormone predictor kit. I also use a fertility app and have been vaguely monitoring my cervical mucas. I tested negative from monday (the start of my fertility window) until yesterday (friday) i went straight from negative to peak on the clear blue monitor! I researched this to make sure it was right and I saw that a lot of people go straight from low to peak, especially if they missed their surge (which i may have done). The app also said I was due to have peak fertility friday and saturday, so i'm confident in the test and we decided to inseminate one vial on friday at 6pm (8 hours after my positive result) and we inseminated again on sunday at 6am. Just before I had the insemination, I was getting pretty bad cramps and I think ovulation may have started, although i'm not 100%. I got some cramp after inseminating too.

Frozen sperm lives in the body for 12-24 hours (apparantly) but some swimmers can last longer. So we inseminated at 6pm which will cover me (hopefully) until 6pm saturday, whilst also inseminating at 6am saturday which would cover me until 6am (hopefully) sunday. We sat and talked constantly about the timing but we just decided to go for it, as like everybody says, even if the timing is perfectly right and your CM is perfect, there is still only a 10-20% chance of conception.

I'm just praying my clearblue test was correct and my peak is friday and saturday like it shows. (My app also shows this like i said). I have a 29 day cycle and it's hardly EVER irregular, so I think we've done all what we should have.

Now we're onto our two week wait which i'm not looking forward to! Like I keep saying to myself, it is our first time trying and we could have done a number of things wrong. It is just trial and error from here on out! If anyone else wants to share their story about home insemination with frozen sperm, using clearblue monitors / success stories, i would really appreciate that!

@freezerbump unfortunately frozen didn't work for us, we tried for 6 months and gave up (mainly due to the expense and the constant worry we would time everything wrong) keep everything crossed for you guys, I've heard of plenty of people catching with frozen. I would definelty recommend temping, it's a bit laborious but once you get the hang of it it can really help you determine when you are ovulating, taking a lot of the guess work out. We didn't use preseed with frozen but we have on fresh cycles, ensure you warm it up too body temperature before you use it best to insert it about 20mins before hand, as if not it can shock the sperm and kill them. It might be worth looking up softcups also, we have used them and stork otc both work in the same way but aim to keep the sperm up near your cervix so there is less traveling time, very helpful with the limited lifespan with the frozen. Are you only using clearblue? I've heard mixed reviews on the them as you are only meant to use them once a day with your first morning urine you can potentially miss your surge and be too late, this month was my first month use OPK strips, you have to use them more often but you can see visually how your surge is going and pin point better when you get your peak.

@timeihadanamechange, I'm sorry your mum isn't behind you this, I hope you have some other support you can off load onto. Congratulations on ordering you stuff! It's deffo not very subtle in its yellow box lol!
With regards to ovulation, you can defo pin point with good accuracy using opks and temping, actually ovulation can be anywhere from 12-72hours after peak, which is quite a big window for error, anything from stress and age can affect how long your surge is so by temping you can see, this only tells you when you have ovulated so all good in hind sight but after a few cycles you can get a good idea of how your body works and use this as a better guide for insemination

Good Luck @freezerbump! Hope your 2nd round goes well!! x

Had my first ever donation (fresh) on Wednesday. Using the syringe was MUCH harder than I was expecting. I reckon I killed them all.

Assuming this cycle doesn't work, would appreciate any tips.

Hopefully my OPK tracking worked ok.

Feel like I have so much to learn.

bitheby - I'm sorry to hear that. Do you mind sharing what was so hard about it? Any tips you can give regarding what not to do?

(DP will be helping so I'm assuming that'll make things easier, but I need all the help I can get!)

Hey @bitheby sorry you found it difficult, can you explain your process a little more? How did you receive your donation? When did you imsem etc? When using fresh there is a few different ways, using a syringe it is usually recommended to allow the donation to liquidify for 20mins or so which makes it easier to draw up, you must ensure you do it slowly as not to damage the sperm, when inserting you can use preseed etc or just pop it in but remember again to release them slowly as close to the cervix as possible. Other methods you can use are soft cups, the donation can be collected directly into them or you can pop them in after using the syringe, they are designed to keep all the sperm up near the cervix.
Did you track using opks, clearblue? Temping? Hoping you got it good and keeping fingers crossed for you!

Just that I ended up with loads of air in the syringe and then I panicked and ended up squirting it out to try again, thinking of all the sperm I would be killing with my incompetence.

TMI but the donation was smaller than I expected and I'd practised my sucking technique with a bigger volume of water.

Water and semen do not behave in the same way.

I got the stuff eventually into the right place and hopefully I gave myself a chance but I won't be surprised if it doesn't work.

I'm trying not to get my hopes up. It's taken a lot to even get to this first cycle.

@bitheby hi there! I know exactly what you mean, my first go was a bit of a nightmare with the syringe also, did it laying down and think I must have caught myself inside and also spillage was an issue, was a right old palava and v v uncomfortable for a good few hours..But you live and you learn!
Next time round I inserted standing up like you would a tampon MUCH easier ( and no injury!)
Then laid down hips up when "plunging" as it were.. no spillage no discomfort, so that's my method from now on, along with preseed this time I think I'm sure there's loads of options but that's my effort so far!

Good luck :)

Try not to think of it not working, it only takes one! are you tracking ovulation? Did you just get one donation this cycle? The 'drawing' up technique is difficult to master, my wife use to work in a lab so is very well practiced with syringes which helped! If you want to practice the technique then try using preseed they work similarly.

Tracked with OPKs. Donor could only meet me once this cycle so we went for the best timing we could under the circumstances but next time I'll meet him a couple of days earlier as well as once the OPKs register a surge, which is what we did this time.

I was worried about the sample cooling if I left it too long. He said that a hot water bottle to keep the sample warm would be a good idea next time. I didn't have that so I took the view that getting it somewhere warm sooner rather than later would be better.

How do you cope with cooling with the 20 minute period?

I did it slowly but after my ridiculousness with the syringe initially, it might've been in vain.

You only need one though eh. Hopefully I didn't kill millions.

I looked at preseed in the shop yesterday. Will deffo buy some if I need to do this again.

My syringes have little pointy bits at the end. I've heard that the neurofen or calpol ones are better because they're flat tipped?

Did you have to travel with the donation or did you do it then and there? If you have to wait any longer than 30mins or so I would recommend keeping it warm under your armpit or in your top or somewhere, you don't want it over cooked or too cold. In a closed container it will be fine for 20mins to liquidify but that is the beauty of using soft cups as your cup put it straight in which no transference issues. If using preseed ensure that you insert it at least 20mins before you insem too allow it to come to body temperature, again if not it will shock the sperm and kill them.

Oral syringes or children's medicine ones are ideal, the wider the nib the better. I found 10ml were a bit easier too use and less fiddly

Thanks Moo

I did it there and then. In an AirBnB. I hope they don't find out although they might be flattered I chose their place to try to conceive. I didn't put it on the review

I think I panicked because he queried the pot and it getting cold. I'd read that 15 minutes to let it liquify is good. But by the time he sorted himself out and came out and I went in and started faffing about, it would've had several minutes I expect.

I think you did better than you think, it's very nerve racking especially on your own, there's alot resting on those little spermies. We use a travellodge and I'm always paranoid the staff know what's going on, especially when our donor turns up more than once lol

I brought all my rubbish home to dispose of. Didn't want them to find a load of OPK packets, pots and syringes in the bin!

Oh the glamour of it all!

Good luck!

@bitheby

Cycle buddies! I am 3dpo, insemm'd on Wednesday aswell, used a softcup for the first time ever and didn't spill a drop and didn't have to touch the sperm with a syringe. I poured the semen straight into the cup and then inserted it, did some pelvic floors to 'suck it up' onto my cervix which i felt 😑. And then sat in my car with hips up. It was my first ever time trying and was anxious I would spill it all out the cup trying to put it in. I practiced at home before hand with a soft cup with heaps of pre-seed lube in (more than the donor would produce) and kept practicing until I could do star jumps with out anything coming out 😂 it made the whole thing so clean and mess free. I definitely recommend it!

What day do you plan on testing? Are you 3dpo , do you temp?

Hey. Hi!

Yes. I inseminated on Wednesday. Am trying not to think about testing. All I have are done pregnancy tests in the cupboard that are effective from first day of period so I'd have to buy something to test early. Am trying to take it day by day.

These soft cups sound good. Where did you buy them from? The ones on Amazon seem to be discontinued so really expensive.

I tried to simulate the natural way of conception so hopefully it was sucked up as a result

@bitheby good idea to only have missed period tests, might stop the urge to test early.

I got my soft cups off amazon, they were expensive but they are still available. If you are worried about leakage post insem, you could always try with the syringe and then put a soft cup in to keep it all close up to your cervix.

I got them from Amazon as well, think I paid about £15 for them and still using the same box

Just caved and ordered some FRERs.

#bitheby this is the first month I've not had any in the house, af due tomorrow and temp dropped this morning so think I'm out. When will you test? Keeping everything crossed for you

@bitheby 😂 it's your first cycle you are allowed to do what you want! Plus fingers crossed you might not need to buy anymore for a long time!!

My partner had been trying the last couple of months but she needs gynae surgery so it's my go. Our first month we had all the fancy things, mosie syringes, pre seed. Pineapple and loads of FRER's, now we just get it in any old way and forget about it until AF comes 😂