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Donor conception

For anyone with experience of sperm or egg donation to share support and advice. Please remember this board isn’t for debate about donor conception.

TTC - First time home insemination

999 replies

libbyidk · 27/08/2017 14:53

First time posting so bare with me.

We are in a same sex relationship, and I just thought i'd share our story so far to see if anyone else is going through the same or has any advice/tips for myself and my partner.

We first went to a private clinic, and payed hundreds for scans, blood tests, screening etc, only to be told my partner couldn't donate her eggs (we were counting on this as it lowers the price by about 3-4000 pounds!), we were then told we should try IUI at the clinic which would cost us about 2-3000 pounds. We went home after this appointment and had a chat, we decided to try home insemination first, and if it doesn't work after 2 times, we will then go back to the clinic, but I wasn't finding them very helpful, and they were quite rude to us!

We searched online for sperm banks and came across cryos in denmark. We researched all the legal complications and know all about it, and decided as so many people do try this, we were going to as well. We ordered our anonymous washed donor sperm (MOT20) 2 vials (all we could afford.)

It arrived on tuesday (it lasts for 7 days in a nitro tank), and I started using the clear blue dual hormone predictor kit. I also use a fertility app and have been vaguely monitoring my cervical mucas. I tested negative from monday (the start of my fertility window) until yesterday (friday) i went straight from negative to peak on the clear blue monitor! I researched this to make sure it was right and I saw that a lot of people go straight from low to peak, especially if they missed their surge (which i may have done). The app also said I was due to have peak fertility friday and saturday, so i'm confident in the test and we decided to inseminate one vial on friday at 6pm (8 hours after my positive result) and we inseminated again on sunday at 6am. Just before I had the insemination, I was getting pretty bad cramps and I think ovulation may have started, although i'm not 100%. I got some cramp after inseminating too.

Frozen sperm lives in the body for 12-24 hours (apparantly) but some swimmers can last longer. So we inseminated at 6pm which will cover me (hopefully) until 6pm saturday, whilst also inseminating at 6am saturday which would cover me until 6am (hopefully) sunday. We sat and talked constantly about the timing but we just decided to go for it, as like everybody says, even if the timing is perfectly right and your CM is perfect, there is still only a 10-20% chance of conception.

I'm just praying my clearblue test was correct and my peak is friday and saturday like it shows. (My app also shows this like i said). I have a 29 day cycle and it's hardly EVER irregular, so I think we've done all what we should have.

Now we're onto our two week wait which i'm not looking forward to! Like I keep saying to myself, it is our first time trying and we could have done a number of things wrong. It is just trial and error from here on out! If anyone else wants to share their story about home insemination with frozen sperm, using clearblue monitors / success stories, i would really appreciate that!

OP posts:
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TimeIhadaNameChange · 16/07/2019 11:27

Well at least you know it happened eventually, @Waiting2BAMummy!

I didn't manage to post that stuff to you at the weekend, and up going to town with a friend and didn't know whether I'd get to the PO or not. As it is I ended up in the local community centre which has a PO inside for about half an hour, but never mind.

Am going to see the Midwife on Friday at the hospital so will have plenty of time to pop in then.

Waiting2BAMummy · 16/07/2019 11:44

Thank you @TimeIhadaNameChange. Good Luck for Friday, how exciting!

LanieM87 · 16/07/2019 18:58

Oh no way @Waiting2BAMummy what CD was your last donation?

Waiting2BAMummy · 16/07/2019 20:03

CD16 @LanieM87 there is an outside chance but it's basically clutching at straws.

LanieM87 · 16/07/2019 20:45

Such a shame @Waiting2BAMummy I suppose the positive to take out of it, is that at least you've found yourself a good donor, hopefully he will be willing to stick around and help next month.

Waiting2BAMummy · 16/07/2019 20:52

I'm getting more white cm today @LanieM87 no idea what's going on. AF due next Wednesday so I'll find out soon enough.

Are you all set for your next attempt?

LanieM87 · 16/07/2019 21:00

Hmm well keep us updated! Hopefully it's a good sign! @Waiting2BAMummy
My delivery is coming Thursday, due to ovulate fri/sat, however I don't seem to have much CM (TMI) which is unusual at this stage! I haven't done any OPKs yet, so I need to start that tomorrow. My temps are low, which are is standard.

This is gunna be an expensive exercise if my timings don't work out! Confused

Waiting2BAMummy · 16/07/2019 21:30

It's all such a mind field @LanieM87 you think you have your body and cycles figured out, make your plans and then your body throws you a curve ball!

Waiting2BAMummy · 17/07/2019 11:34

Hi All - me again!

I have a TMI question apologies in advance.

So, I was checking CP last night (no idea why and I've never checked it before so have no idea what I'm looking for) anyway I found it- way to go me!! However, I scratched it with my nail and ended up with blood on my finger nail. I just went to toilet and have brown tinged CM. Based on when I would usually ovulate I would be 8dpo today and CD 22. The shortest cycle I've had is 25 days so I don't think this is AF starting. Do you ladies think this is due to my injury last night or could it be IB? I didn't have it when I went to the toilet first thing but did just now.

TimeIhadaNameChange · 17/07/2019 13:02

Could be either, though I'd be more likely to suspect the injury last night. But I'll keep my fingers crossed that is actually IB!

Waiting2BAMummy · 17/07/2019 14:14

That's what I was thinking @TimeIhadaNameChange but clutching at some super size straws!

How are you feeling?

TimeIhadaNameChange · 17/07/2019 14:53

I am currently full of the cold. Who knew pregnancy rhinitis was a thing? Sneezing like a very sneezy thing, blocked nose yet running like a waterfall and very itchy. I'm supposed to be working but it's not happening.

But other than that I'm fine.

Waiting2BAMummy · 17/07/2019 15:02

@TimeIhadaNameChange

TTC - First time home insemination
TimeIhadaNameChange · 17/07/2019 20:49

GrinGrinGrin

Waiting2BAMummy · 18/07/2019 18:55

Good luck at the midwife tomorrow @TimeIhadaNameChange

LanieM87 · 18/07/2019 19:39

Have you had any more discharge @Waiting2BAMummy ? Have you got any plans to test or will you wait to see if AF arrives?

Good luck at your midwife appointment @TimeIhadaNameChange hope all goes well 😊

Waiting2BAMummy · 18/07/2019 20:47

Yes @LanieM87 it's getting thicker as the days go by, really don't know what to think. Based on when I would normally have ovulated I'll be 12dpo on Sunday am torn between testing then and waiting until Wednesday when AF is due.

Are you all set for this weekend?

LanieM87 · 18/07/2019 21:07

Ooo really @Waiting2BAMummy don't they say that's a positive thing if you're still getting lots of CM? Keeping everything crossed.

Yes thanks, my order came today. Really impressed with the communication and the info that came with it! Hoping for my static tomorrow and then I'm all set!

Waiting2BAMummy · 18/07/2019 21:17

From what I've read CM isn't really an indicator @LanieM87 as it can vary so much from month to month. I am really bloated at the moment though and in the afternoons I'm sat at my desk feeling like my stomach has been inflated, even after not having eaten anything. I have had bloating in other cycles though so not reading too much into it. Part of me wants to test on Sunday but then the logical part of my brain is saying it's a waste of a test as I can't possibly be pregnant when I didn't even get a positive opk, especially as it's only 3 days ahead of AF. Really don't know what to do.

Good luck for tomorrow.

LanieM87 · 18/07/2019 21:22

It's a tough one isn't it @Waiting2BAMummy the sensible brain says just wait, but the emotional brain just picks up on all these little things! I think I'd probably end up testing on Sunday. I think the curiosity would be too much! Its a shame you've not got temping to fall back on!

Oh thanks. I followed your lead and went in search of my cervix 😂 from what I can tell it seems to be in the right position, just not getting an awful lot of CM this month!

Why do our bodies play tricks on us!!

Waiting2BAMummy · 18/07/2019 21:31

Because they're cruel vessels @LanieM87 like to keep us on our toes and always second guessing ourselves!

As it stands right now I'm planning to wait until after missed AF if AF cramps start between now and then I'll probably stick to that but if not I'll cave like a rich tea Ina hot cup of tea!!

TimeIhadaNameChange · 19/07/2019 09:26

Thanks @Waiting2BAMummy and @LanieM87! I’m at the hospital waiting just now.

So far I forgot that a five pound note did not equal £6 when paying the bus fare, and was almost at the hospital when I realised the side zip of my dress was down, showing my knickers! I don’t think early morning Friday appts are my thing!!!

Waiting2BAMummy · 19/07/2019 09:32

lol @TimeIhadaNameChange #Babybrain!

LanieM87 · 19/07/2019 09:39

Hahah!! Oh dear! Definitely blame baby brain @TimeIhadaNameChange

TimeIhadaNameChange · 19/07/2019 12:31

Tee hee! You'll be pleased to know I managed the return journey with no problems!

It was fun. Hour and a half, but as much a blether as anything. Apparently sperm and egg donor babies aren't as uncommon as I thought up here (though egg donors being the more common, by the sound of things). Home IUI seems to be a first though (and she didn't even tell me off for doing that). Lots of questions, mainly health related (naturally). Made me realise how little I really know about my family history. It might be worth looking up beforehand things like whether and when you've had operations, blood transfusions and stays in ICU.

I thought it would be a definite that I'd have to give birth in Inverness, but apparently not. There's even a possibility of a home birth, which I'd love, and which I thought would be completely out of the question. I mentioned my animals, and my mother's repeated proclamation that I'd have to get rid of them, but she just laughed. I had told her that I'd ignore her if she said I did have to, though!

Lots of info. Notes are A4, not A5 as I'd thought / hoped, and then more stuff in a not-very-discrete folder. She did find me an envelope to put it all in but I managed to squish it all into my bag eventually.

Blood test was icky - hate the sound of it. Urine one was fun - they give you a tray to wee into. It gave me the heebies and I couldn't get anything out for ages. It was ok in the end. Was surprised the NHS told you to wash the labia with soap and water, and ignored the soap part of it.

But yeah, all in all it was good fun. Now have to wait for my scan letter, and see the midwife in about ten weeks' time.