TTC - First time home insemination

[libbyidk]

First time posting so bare with me.

We are in a same sex relationship, and I just thought i'd share our story so far to see if anyone else is going through the same or has any advice/tips for myself and my partner.

We first went to a private clinic, and payed hundreds for scans, blood tests, screening etc, only to be told my partner couldn't donate her eggs (we were counting on this as it lowers the price by about 3-4000 pounds!), we were then told we should try IUI at the clinic which would cost us about 2-3000 pounds. We went home after this appointment and had a chat, we decided to try home insemination first, and if it doesn't work after 2 times, we will then go back to the clinic, but I wasn't finding them very helpful, and they were quite rude to us!

We searched online for sperm banks and came across cryos in denmark. We researched all the legal complications and know all about it, and decided as so many people do try this, we were going to as well. We ordered our anonymous washed donor sperm (MOT20) 2 vials (all we could afford.)

It arrived on tuesday (it lasts for 7 days in a nitro tank), and I started using the clear blue dual hormone predictor kit. I also use a fertility app and have been vaguely monitoring my cervical mucas. I tested negative from monday (the start of my fertility window) until yesterday (friday) i went straight from negative to peak on the clear blue monitor! I researched this to make sure it was right and I saw that a lot of people go straight from low to peak, especially if they missed their surge (which i may have done). The app also said I was due to have peak fertility friday and saturday, so i'm confident in the test and we decided to inseminate one vial on friday at 6pm (8 hours after my positive result) and we inseminated again on sunday at 6am. Just before I had the insemination, I was getting pretty bad cramps and I think ovulation may have started, although i'm not 100%. I got some cramp after inseminating too.

Frozen sperm lives in the body for 12-24 hours (apparantly) but some swimmers can last longer. So we inseminated at 6pm which will cover me (hopefully) until 6pm saturday, whilst also inseminating at 6am saturday which would cover me until 6am (hopefully) sunday. We sat and talked constantly about the timing but we just decided to go for it, as like everybody says, even if the timing is perfectly right and your CM is perfect, there is still only a 10-20% chance of conception.

I'm just praying my clearblue test was correct and my peak is friday and saturday like it shows. (My app also shows this like i said). I have a 29 day cycle and it's hardly EVER irregular, so I think we've done all what we should have.

Now we're onto our two week wait which i'm not looking forward to! Like I keep saying to myself, it is our first time trying and we could have done a number of things wrong. It is just trial and error from here on out! If anyone else wants to share their story about home insemination with frozen sperm, using clearblue monitors / success stories, i would really appreciate that!

Welcome to the mad house @goodnightsugarpop. Yes that's all perfectly normal. I started trying in November of last year and have switched donors this month. Had my first donation from him last night, one tonight and final tomorrow. Even though I've done this several times before with another donor I was still beyond nervous yesterday.

Try to stay calm and remember it's a means to an end. Good luck x

Keeping my fingers crossed for you, @Freezerbump!

How did last night go, @Waiting2BAMummy. Were you less nervous this time round? Fingers crossed it works for you too.

thank you @Waiting2BAMummy ! I hope it's all going well for you too

Fingers crossed for you @Freezerbump !! You'll have to keep us updated!

Hope your inseminations are going well @Waiting2BAMummy any sign of a smiley face yet??

Thanks for the info @TimeIhadaNameChange I did an insem on day of peak last month. So I was thinking day of and then 12hrs later, I usually get my peak in the afternoon. Don't know whether to take the plunge and order 3 vials, all vials are 20mot from sellmerdiers, so should give me a good shot!

My "live" donor has been back in touch, quite keen to help me, but I just don't know. I'm sticking with frozen this month anyway

Much better last night thank you @TimeIhadaNameChange still nervous but no spillages!!

Got a flashing smiley face yesterday and this morning @LanieM87 due to get my static this afternoon

I'd be careful with your previous donor but you've got to do what's right for you

@Waiting2BAMummy glad it went better last night :)

Still no sign of af... although boobs are massive so probably not long now, then I have to think of a plan b!

LADDIIIIIIEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS

So my OPK is still flashing!!!! WTF??

What do I do? Do I text my donor and ask him to come tomorrow instead? Do I let him come tonight and then ask him to come tomorrow as well?

How can you have your positive on the same day for 5 months and then it changes??

Hi lovely, I'd ask him to come tomorrow you're covered today from last night and then tomorrow would give you a good 24-48 stretch :)

Thanks @Freezerbump I needed the voice of reason. I'm going to test again when I get home but have text him asking if it's still negative could he come tomorrow instead. x

I think what @Freezerbump said sounds reasonable! If it's still flashing later I'd go for donation tomorrow instead!
Don't our bodies play tricks on us?!!

I was relying on that continuity to know when I should doing my insem @LanieM87 now I'm all discombobulated!

He's text back to say tomorrow is fine if my face is still flashing tonight.... well not my face obviously.... that would be weird!

@Waiting2BAMummy I'm sure the static is not far away now! Your nerves may have just pushed it back a little, it doesn't take much to upset our cycles!
At least he can work round you though! Imagine if you were in a hotel somewhere!
This will be your month!

so this morning I saw some of that 'egg white' cervical mucus & got all excited & texted my donor... but he wasn't available today... and then this afternoon I did two LH tests and one came out negative and one positive... gonna test again tomorrow morning

It feels like I still haven't really got my head around ovulation testing. I wish there was some magical 100% accurate way to know when my most fertile days are

@goodnightsugarpop - if you're in it for the long haul (which you are) get a bbt thermometer and temp every morning. It won't tell you when you ovulate until afterwards, but if you do it continously for a few months whilst using OPKs and checking the mucus you might get a clearer understanding of any patterns. Don't rely too heavily on any one indicator - if you read this thread you'll see I fell out with my bbt more than once! It might also be an idea to go for the ClearBlue advanced tests to find out when you get the oestrogen surge, and then combine with the cheap tests every few hours until you get the LH surge (which you could then confirm with the CB).

@Waiting2BAMummy - you know our bodies like to play games, especially when we least want them to. Hope it's a static smiley tonight.

@Freezerbump - how you doing? Any sign of the witch yet?

You remember I said I was petrified of telling my mother? Well, she's thrown herself into this all guns blazing, though with a few typical her-isms.

She was orginally thrilled I'd done it by donor, and she could tell everyone this (heaven forbid anyone think her unmarried nearly-40-yo daughter had had sex!!!!!). She then decided to tell me that if I didn't live where I did I'd be married with kids by now (no I wouldn't, but obv she knows best!). Then she wanted to know why I hadn't done it the 'normal' way. I told her I'd never had a ons and never intended to. Her reply 'Well, I know you say you're not like that....' - honestly, I get still get judged for something I don't do anyway!

She rang me up at one point to tell me I should speak to my friend who's moving and buy her children's furniture off her. As if I hadn't thought of that.

Her other obsession is my pets. I think anyone who gets rid of animals because they have children are the lowest of the low, and she should know that, yet she has twice brought it up. The first time was when I told her, and she said she thought I should get rid of some of them as there'll be too much mess. Then yesterday she asked if the midwives knew about them yet (and I could tell she was hoping they'd told me to ditch them). None of them are going anywhere. But I'll no doubt hear about it for the next 8 months!

Thanks @LanieM87 I really hope so starting to feel like it's never going to happen.

I know @TimeIhadaNameChange but I don't like the game it's playing. Now if it wants to play the 'let's fertilise an egg, implant it and grow a tiny human' game I'm all up for that!! I'm retesting at 7:30pm but my donor is happy to come tomorrow if I don't get it tonight. Have been advised by someone who has donated successfully several times that 3 insems in 3 days is the magic ingredient though so was really hoping I'd get my positive today and get my third insem done. It's not over yet though so we will see although I haven't really seen any EWCM so it's probably right. In terms of your mum it's so hard, you've gone from thinking she wouldn't be accepting to trying to completely take over and tell you what to do. She is going to say what she wants no matter what you say so, as I'm sure you have many times in your life, you're going to have to just let her words wash over you. This is your child and you know what's best and I think children should grow up around animals. It teaches them to take care of something other than themselves, to respect animals and most of all unconditional love. Don't let your mums opinions make you second guess yourself, it's hard because she is your mum, but in the end her opinion is exactly that, an opinion and you need to do what you feel is right for you and your baby, no matter what ANYONE else thinks. You've got this, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Good luck @goodnightsugarpop even with the best laid plans and experiences of previous cycles our bodies can still confuse us. You'll get the hang of it

@TimeIhadaNameChange nope, no sign still, boobs feel like they're reaching capacity and I'm shattered! Like need a nap at 11am knackered but that's also pre af for me...

I even had 15 mins on the rug in the lounge earlier.. (having kitchen fitted so was short lived due to drilling) still feel like I'm camping as sofa doesn't arrive until next week.

I just don't know, so much has happened this month I'm expecting a late or skipped af so I'm not getting my hopes up, also have been eyeing bottle of Prosecco in fridge....

Have my fingers firmly crossed for you @Freezerbump maybe because you've been so preoccupied with everything else and not so focused on TTC it's helped you this month? I'm keeping the faith for you x

Well my flashing smiley face is still mocking me so my donor is coming tomorrow night now.

@Freezerbump - open the Prosecco. Bet if you do you'll increase the chance of you being pregnant! I applied for the London Marathon in the hope I wouldn't be able to do it. Really should email the charity and tell them to take my name out the ballot but that's feels like risking it.

Hopefully you'll get a static tomorrow morning, @Waiting2BAMummy - fingers crossed!

I'm still being mocked by smiley faces!

I have had my positive on CD15 before so could get my static tomorrow. Can't mess my donor around again though so will still see him tonight and hope I get my positive this afternoon.

Still got a flashing smiley.

Donor is coming tonight and I'm hoping if he asks if I got my static smiley face he might offer to come over tomorrow too. 🙏

Good luck with it!

Oh no! @Waiting2BAMummy what are the chances?!! From what you’ve said he seems like a good guy, so hopefully he can come see you tomorrow as well x

Pfffft, I'm out ladies

Oh no @Freezerbump I'm sorry. Do you know what your next move is? Have you thought anymore about asking your mate? x